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37 M Reading, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:10pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Dropped out of university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There's always one, and it's usually me.


I'm in an open relationship with NoneOfYourFuckenBusiness (seriously, why do people put those links on their profiles?) who is a 99% match, brilliant, gorgeous, funny, sexy, slightly kinky and writes better code than I do (I'm punching above my weight here).... It's been over a year and I'm still not motivated to attract anyone new (what can I say, I'm in love) so, I'm basically just here window shopping.

If you happen to not care that I have a girl friend and/or are also involved in something open/poly, feel free to give me a poke, you might be able to tempt me away for the odd evening (however, be aware that if you too are not already seeing someone, it almost certainly wont work (single girls want too much 'everything', and my everything is already spoken for))


I'm bored of the shit I had written here and feel like starting again.... But I have absolutely no good literary idea to work with, so.... it's total balls ATM.

I'll write some crap here as soon as I think up a new way to wind people up.

....... I may need to get drunk.

In the mean time, check out the Q+A.... Like a moron I've been answering those questions for years with no thought to people actually reading them (often whilst drunk), so they are a fairly good indicator of the type of arse I am.


For now I shall simply go with:
"Curmudgeonly prick, and proud of it."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to get my graphics company up and running properly.

"Hey buddy, you want to buy picture?, I have picture in back of car. It perfect for you."
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I got tested once (by Oxford Universities physiology department), it seems my spacial awareness is right at the top of the 99th percentile.
Sadly, this superpower has little/no useful application in the real world... all it actually seems to do is specialize my brains wiring to the point that I'm dumb as fuck when it comes to pretty much everything else... i.e.... life.

I'm also pretty good at knowing everything, this does tend to wind people up... but I have found that for the most part it only winds up people who don't know shit about shit.
These are exactly the sort of people I don't want in my life, so I really couldn't give a crap when I do piss people off like that.

People who know interesting things generally enjoy swapping knowledge (that's how/why we know things) and as such have no issues with me.
(also, the simple truth of the matter is that I really don't know much, I have just learned to STFU when I don't know).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told in the past that I'm somewhat intimidating... something to do with me being 6 foot, fairly large build and wearing a lot of black.... and because I spend a lot of time scowling at the world in general.
Oh.. and I'm pretty quiet, I don't tend to speak unless I've got something to say... which can come across as 'lurking'.

But I am lovely really.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Whatever you watch/listen too?..... yeah, probably not that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Nope, I honestly cant think of anything I couldn't cut out of my life and still get by just fine (discounting the (painfully) obvious 'food, air, water' thing).

I do kinda need a computer to work... and the internet to sell shit, but it really doesn't bother me much when I'm cut off for days/weeks on end.

I would love to say 'music', It is one of the few things I actually give a crap about... but, I've been on a podcast/audio book kick for at least a few months, I don't think I've actually listened to music in that whole time.

[Just off the top of my head: Startalk radio (if you don't love NdT?... you suck), Skepticast, Naked scientist, Bill Burr's, Doug Stanhope's]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Well, I've just spent quite a lot of time thinking about things I spend a lot of time thinking about (check me out, being all meta).

Conclusion... nope, I really don't spend a lot of time thinking about anything any more. I think I've pretty much got the world figured out already.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Being incredibly boring, sitting at home working on some 3D graphics crap.... Friday is not an 'out' night in my book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Boobs do absolutely nothing for me. Sure, I play with (them because I know you like it) but they are largely just fleshy bags of fat... I simply don't get the fascination.
Give me a nice little tit any day. Not that they float my boat either, but they are more aesthetically pleasing... IMO.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Honestly?... You probably shouldn't...
In the last year I've accidentally chatted myself close to meeting 4..5 girls, but at the last minute I always *meh* myself out of it.

Like I said, I love my girl and I'm just not all that interested in new pussy... Sure, if you're throwing it around I'll probably catch some (after all, I am allowed to) but... 'meh'.

Male or Female, Give me a poke if you feel like chatting anyway... and/or think we might get along as friends, I've had some great chats with random people here over the years.


P.S. If I've messaged you and did not hit on you.... quit being so up yourself and realised that it's not some clever ploy, just take it on face value, I'm probably drunk and think my comment is in some way helpful, funny or its just me thanking you for making me smile/laugh..... Honestly, I'm not as clever as you seem to think I am and really don't have the time or motivation to play a long game like that.

..... You know who you are.