Below is take from the book "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

     The ideal master controls himself, so that he might control his submissive. He will, as a stern dominant, cause tears to flow, and, as a lover, kiss them away. An unashamed romantic, he cherishes his submissive lady. Yet always, he remains aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. When there is need he is ready to leave the roles behind to be a friend.
     He understand that to own a woman, one must court the mind with intelligence and humor; win the spirit with compassion and warmth; and take the body with determined strength. He is old-fashioned enough to be gallant and chivalrous. Naturally protective, he would fight for his lady's honor. He understands and accepts the differences between men and women, but is modern enough to know there is no inferiority to it.
     He is the honorable sadist who uses pain to extend the bounds of pleasure, vigilant that no harm comes of the hurt. He is the mentor and guide who takes his lady into flight, the wind beneath her wings and her tether to the earth. Enveloping the submissive in his strength, he lends her the courage to reach new heights.
     The good dominant is not lazy, mentally or physically. He researches carefully his toys of choice. He seeks out those having the skills and knowledge to teach him to use those toys properly. Then, he practices each skill he would have, whip to cane. Trusting nothing to chance, he tests everything first on his own body.
      He is patient enough to learn his submissive well. Aware of the fragile nature of the human mind and spirit, he would not violate those entrusted to his keeping. He knows that submission to him will deepen as trust grows and control will extend as affection increases.
      Confident in his dominance, he has no need of silly posturing. He accepts titles as tokens of respect and kneeling as outward expression of genuine feeling. He has no desire to cheapen these by compelling as ritual. He understands that the compliance that comes out of fear of punishment is weak at best. While the obedience engendered from real submissive feelings and the desire to please one's master is unequivocal.
      He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life, courageous enough to accept assistance, open-minded enough to learn new things, and strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit, and soul, with assistance from whip, chain, and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. Most of all, he knows love as the only chain that truly binds.

 

After reading that chapter I came to the realization that I had, for the most part, been doing this instinctively.

If you have read my profile you know I'm active in the BDSM lifestyle, I'd like to take a moment to post what kind of Dominant I am.

This explanation has been borrowed from one of my groups.

The first thing I want to do, is to dispel any notions or misconceptions about the relationship between daddy dominants and their little girl submissives. It has nothing to do with incest, age play, or any closeted desires or fetish for, or with children. Nor, is it about a father-daughter relations, in fact, there is nothing about this type of relationship that resembles anything about their father for the little girl submissives, whatsoever. In this dominant's opinion, a daddy dominant is the most tender of all dominants. He loves and adores his little girl sub with a true, eternal passion. A daddy dom has his sub's best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his own personal desires. That does not mean he surrenders to her every demand. There can be immense differences between the sub's desires and her real needs. The daddy dominant has to be ready to sacrifice for her, if needed, and yes, at times he does punish his sub when needed, which generally hurts him just as much, if not, more than her. The daddy dominant will always do what is best for his little girl sub.

The daddy dominant also helps his submissive to set and attain her goals in life. He will strive diligently to help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for himself, but for her. The daddy dominant is not only looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person overall. He has multiple roles in his little girl sub's life. He is a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, and most of all, a lover. The daddy dominant offers to his little girl sub what she needs most of all, which is unconditional love and acceptance. He maintain consistency in his actions towards his sub, so that she always knows what to expect from him, and having the confident knowledge she can always depend on him. The daddy dominant desires nothing more than to pull his little sub close and protect her from a world that is seen to be bent on cruelty, but knowing all along that he can't. So, it is up to the daddy dominant to prepare his little sub for whatever life may throw her way, and to always be there for her when things go wrong, knowing that she will run to him when she becomes frightened or overwhelmed by the stress life can deal. The daddy dominant will always listen to all his sub's fears and concerns, and he will help her confront her them, thus slaying her dragons, so to speak.

The daddy dominant will cuddle his little girl sub, and show her immense tenderness when needed. When she is unsure or uncertain of herself, he will whisper words of encouragement to her. When she feels ugly or unwanted, her daddy dom reinforces and reassures she is beautiful. When she feels scared and nervous, he is her safety net. For the daddy dominant, his little girl submissive is the pride, joy, and main comfort of his life. There are really no large contrasts between daddy dominants and regular or sadist ones The daddy dominant's little girl may be the twinkle of his eye, but she is definitely all woman, and he may be a daddy, but he is still and foremost, a dom! The daddy dominant has to be able punish his sub when she needs it, and let his consistent actions prove that she cannot wrap her daddy dominant around her little finger, or she will lose respect for him, thus his control over is severely hampered. This could be pending doom for a daddy dom-little girl sub relationship, or any DS or SM relationship. We all know that you cannot have the love without the respect. In that, and in other ways I may or may not have mentioned, a daddy dominant is not different from a sub. The only real contrast I see is how the love is given and reciprocated in the relationship.