I'll exaggerate here so you can get to know me faster.

I'm from a small village, but now I live in the big city.
I'm always trying to be good because I'm inherently such a terrible person, lazy because I'm always busy, panicking because everything is fine, and a dim bulb who is thinking all the time. I'm a stranger that is always confiding, failing because I'm always trying, a selfish oaf who will be your best friend, and a weakling with the strength of 10,000 men.
...something like that.

I spoke with a friend today, and she told me that most guys on dating sites add 3" to their height, take away 30 lbs, etc. etc.
Details someone might not even care about if you're good company.
But I guess people still make stuff up, and then act really awkward in person when it's obvious that they lied.

Here's a video of me playing a little tune so people think I'm not a total sham:

Um, ignore the first one... it was a joke for a friend that said he wanted a band where people play jazz tunes like punk rock...

http://www.youtube.com/user/kaschuder38?feature=mhum

That's actually me! I like that I had to keep the computer from going to sleep in the middle of the song...

I should probably mention I'm more 'heteroflexible' than bisexual.
I put that I was 'straight' for a while because tons of bro-dudes sent me messages saying 'let's hook up!' and I got tired of sorting through it.
Guys, I encourage you to respond, but if you are just trying to find someone to fuck around with, I like you to be interesting, and for us to have some common values or interests.
I might as well claim bisexual since I've enjoyed a few experiences with guys. I've never seriously dated a guy, and when I seriously dated a girl for 3 years, I didn't have an impulse to find some guy to screw around with. However, if a girl was like 'let's introduce another guy into our bedroom!' I'd want him to be someone I'd want to fool around with too. I put 'bisexual' partially because I like people to be open minded, and to have some fluid quality when it comes to gender and sexuality. Amen.

Aside from the limerick that is an exaggeration of sorts, all that's written here is true. I have a cat, I speak English, and I'm a white guy. I may or may not have a conjoined twin fetus attached to my face.

Cooking, taking pictures, playing guitar, riding bike, yoga, meditating, and laughing in the face of uncertainty.

Lately, I've been slowing myself down a bit. Allowing myself time to enjoy little pleasures, and have more time for introspection.
I've been reading a lot of Buddhist literature lately, putting it into practice, and meditating everyday. As much as I like to GO! GO! GO! life loses it's texture if I don't actively unpack my thoughts and feelings. If I lived a quieter life, meditation might not feel so necessary, but I often bombard myself with challenges.

I work as a chef, and it's completely amazing.
I'm not one of the angry chefs that screams a lot and throws things at people. I'm secretly a doting grandmother who just wants people to be happy, healthy, and feel at home when I cook for them.
I also have a very strong environmental activist angle in my cooking, and stick with organic produce and sustainable seafood.
I occasionally eat meat, and cook it once in a while. But when I design a menu, I serve what I think is more environmentally responsible, and have had no shortage of willing diners.
I have worked with some excellent environmental organizations regarding this, and could talk for hours about the details informing this decision.
I love creating intricate, beautiful dishes that look like a piece of art, but also believe there should be some things my poor friends can afford. I don't like the fact that very poorly paid cooks feed very wealthy people, and I'd like to be more inclusive in an industry that thrives on exclusivity. I'd like to do it, while making it as delicious as I possibly can.
I've taken a break from the 'executive chef' role to further my food knowledge by apprenticing for some very talented people.
Now, I'm working on landing an actual day job, perhaps as a chef at a startup, so that I may free up my nights for a bit. With my nights open, I'll be able to cook the pop-up events that will turn into the place I've been planning on opening all along.
After 7 years of working nights, I'm also eager to be able to see more of my friends bands, art shows, and other goings on as well...

Perseverence and commitment.
Standing on my head for 5 minutes.
Strange banter.
Listening...

A lot of people have said my hands.
I have very few scars considering I've been a farm worker in the midwest, a nightclub bouncer at a punk rock venue, and now I work around open flames and sharp knives all the time.

Books: Last book I read was the Dharma Bums. I found it on the sidewalk, and hadn't read it since I was 14.
The Postmortal, and The Wind Up Girl were the 2 best sci-fi books of recent memory.
I'm a big fan of Amy Hempel's short stories, and like ee Cummings poetry as well as Sylvia Plath's earlier poems. Everyone likes Murakami.
For non-fiction, I really liked Patti Smith's Just Kids, and enjoy a lot of psychology books. Irvin D. Yalom's book 'Love's Executioner' was a good read, as well as Jamison's book 'Exuberance.'
'The Middle East Conflict for Dummies' is ironically about 800 pages, and I brought myself to read it. I've read a lot of economic literature.
Osho's interpretation of the Diamond Sutra is fantastic, and I have about 100 cookbooks...

Movies: Charlie Chaplin's City Lights is probably my favorite movie of all time. Everyone cries a little at the end. If you don't cry, you might be a poorly designed replicant.
I'm not the huge movie buff, but my tastes range from very artsy foreign films, to weird anime, to big budget movies where things explode. I like a lot of documentaries... Kumare was the last really good one I watched.

Shows: Mostly Daily Show and Colbert.

Music: Lately I've been on a Brazilian music kick, and I've been devouring any Caetano Veloso I can find. I just learned to sing and play this tune:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZY32Nrjqlc
To make a laundry list of other music for you:
The Bad Plus, Beethoven, Bjork, Brazilian Girls, Charles Mingus, Charlie Parker, Chopin The Clash, The Cramps!, Debussy, DEVO, Edith Piaf, Elvis, Sinatra, Hiromi, Iggy Pop, James Brown, Janelle Monae, Jimi Hendrix, Joanna Newsom, Kings of Convenience, Led Zeppelin, Lou Reed, Magnetic Fields, Man or Astro Man?, Modeselektor, Moondog, Neutral Milk Hotel, Nina Simone, Of Montreal, Omodaka, Outkast, Patti Smith, Pavement, Pharcyde, Prince, Radiohead, Ramones, Ray Charles, SebastiAn, Serge Gainsbourg, Sex Pistols, Sharon Jones, Spoon, Sufjan Stevens, Talking Heads, Temptations, Tom Waits, Tune-Yards, White Stripes, Wu-Tang... and of course The Beatles, Mozart, and other people everyone seems to like because they are geniuses who have become acceptable.
I think that this song is insanely beautiful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4XgxduIv_0

Food: I like it all. No, really. I just like some things more...

1) Creative outlet
2) My cat
3) Nice weather
4) Good food
5) Good music
6) Good friends to help me write this story.

How much more fun and interesting people would be if they didn't stare at their phones and push little buttons every other minute.
Imagine if John Lennon never became John Lennon, because he spent all his time and energy twiddling his thumbs on a little gadget?

If Elvis had cable, would he not have become the King of Rock?

Fighting crime.

I'm no saint, and I may have blood on my hands, but the sinful city of San Francisco is far bloodier.

If there are 812,826 citizens, with an average of 5.2 Liters of blood each, that makes for about 4.23 million Liters of blood.
Far more than what's on my hands.
What's that you say? You don't use the metric system? Fine...
1.12 million gallons of human blood if that's your thing.
I know it is.
The metric system is vastly superior, and I don't know why the US has to be so backwards about our system of measurements. Apparently we're trying to be like Burma and Libya; the only other 2 countries that don't use the metric system.
What's that you say? Burma is planning to adopt the metric system too? Fine. Us and Libya. The U.S. and Libya. Perhaps we just need to stand out, like the teenage boy wearing black nail polish in gym class.
I understand.
I'm surprised the city and county of San Francisco hasn't put forward a ballot initiative to adopt the metric system within city limits... after all we are the rebellious child of the rebellious child-country. We're the rebellious babies, rebellious baby. And secretly, we love when people say we're the 'most European city in America.'

Anyways, yes to the metric system, yes to rebellious infant cities, and yes to fighting crime.

What are you doing this Friday?

That I've written this many words on a dating profile.

If You are a smart person who still listens to what children have to say.
You are a sensitive person who is still strong.
You think the old saying "May you live in interesting times" sounds like a blessing as opposed to a curse.
You have a vision of 'the way things ought to be' and work to make it happen.
You are willfully naive when it comes to creating, making the inevitable mistakes that are part of any endeavor, and living it up, instead of living vicariously.
If my response to the Friday night question didn't freak you out. Because strange things like that tumble out of my mouth.
If you want a running partner.
If you like to go out dancing.
If you think meeting someone new is more fun than staring at a laptop for hours.
If you want to get some coffee with me.
If you feel like I'm someone you might like to get to know.

You don't need to be exceptionally talented for me to like you, nor do you need to be 'the most interesting person in the world' to be a friend. Compassion goes a long way, and I can always use more of that in my life...