I'm from a small village, but now I live in the big city.
I'm always trying to be good because I'm inherently such a terrible person, lazy because I'm always busy, panicking because everything is fine, and a dim bulb who is thinking all the time. I'm a stranger that is always confiding, failing because I'm always trying, a selfish oaf who will be your best friend, and a weakling with the strength of 10,000 men.
...something like that.
I spoke with a friend today, and she told me that most guys on dating sites add 3" to their height, take away 30 lbs, etc. etc.
Details someone might not even care about if you're good company.
But I guess people still make stuff up, and then act really awkward in person when it's obvious that they lied.
Here's a video of me playing a little tune so people think I'm not a total sham:
Um, ignore the first one... it was a joke for a friend that said he wanted a band where people play jazz tunes like punk rock...
That's actually me! I like that I had to keep the computer from going to sleep in the middle of the song...
Aside from the limerick that is an exaggeration of sorts, all that's written here is true. I have a cat, I speak English, and I'm a white guy. I may or may not have a conjoined twin fetus attached to my face.