25 Northfield, OH
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My self-summary
I'm not very romantic and like dumb things. Often times, I'll get tipsy on craft beer and give high-energy history lectures.
What I’m doing with my life
Graduated with my history degree from FAU; caught between the thrilling prospective pursuits of high school teaching or being a museum docent. I intended sarcasm for that last sentence. I really hope to travel sometime soon, mostly to places where I suppose Americans won't be very welcome. Also, former assistant-to-someone at the new Boca brewery, Barrel of Monks. Check us out, we're now open.
I’m really good at
Recalling trivia and doing the best Gollum impression you've heard.
The first things people usually notice about me
The eyes. Almost got the high school superlative and EVERYTHING.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Persepolis, Kingdom Come, In Cold Blood, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids, Slaughterhouse Five

Big Fish, Star Wars (Original Trilogy), Cabin in the Woods

Venture Bros, Steven Universe, King of the Hill, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Futurama, American Pickers, Tim & Eric Awesome Show (Great Job!), Space Dandy

The Devil Makes Three, That Handsome Devil, Magma, Wynonie Harris, The Mountain Goats, Royal Crown Revue, Kula Shaker, Clutch

Morrowind, Dark Souls, Pokémon, Deus Ex, Team Fortress 2, Animal Crossing, Bioshock, Earthbound
The six things I could never do without
This shit is always so boring.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why anyone would steal my '09 Hyundai Accent.

If Hitler cried when he killed Blondi.

How to keep ducks in an apartment despite their aversion to bowel control.

Building a tiny house.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking crap rum, watching Netflix, and falling asleep before midnight.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I own, like, two decks of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. It's hard to just throw away a perfectly nice Dark Magician.
You should message me if
If reading this profile was more fun than exasperating.