Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


38 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:17pm
Middle Eastern, White
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from law school
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
English (Fluently), Farsi (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not a tiger, snake, or shirtless pic kind of guy.

I am, however, very much an exploiter of the cutest nephew in the world pic kind of guy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working as a balloon blower for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

The month of November is super hectic. But the other 11 months are very relaxed. So if we start dating now, we can build a solid foundation to get through that rough patch.

I got lucky when I first started and got assigned Popeye. I then quickly got promoted to Papa Smurf. Held that for a couple if years, then needed to challenge myself and asked to be reassigned to Garfield. I'm working my way to the holy grail of all balloon blowers - Snoopy.

My boss says if I keep working hard and keep learning my craft, I will have a shot in ten years.

I'm a catch.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Walking up to people on the street and smacking them with a loaf of bread.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm not holding a loaf of bread.

That I'm not blowing a balloon.

That there is much more depth to me than this profile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
a sampling:
Death of a Salesman, Blink, Fountainhead, Choke, One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and whatever I'm reading at the moment.
anything with Daneil Day Lewis in it, Crimes and Misdemeanors, The Jerk, Rear Window, Zoolander
White Stripes, the xx, Expolisions in the Sky, all things Kanye, Awolnation, DJ Shadow
Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, Homeland, The Wire, 30 Rock, and South Park.
Food: all
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
honest introspection
my running shoes
my little brother
the view from Dumbo
exposed brick inside apartments, offices, and restaurants
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how many amazing women I would meet if my profile name was TotalDbag-nyc.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Showing the world that I am not a dbag.

This only makes sense if you read the previous section.

If you didn't, then you're cheating. And if you're cheating it means you either liked my photos and these thousand words don't matter, or you didn't like my photos and my words don't matter.

If you are in the first category, I probably just made you smile. If you are in the second category, then I probably made you think deeply about the kind of person you are. Either way, we just had ourselves a little connection. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

(Me smoking a cigarette.)
(I don't smoke.)
(That's how good it was.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I was eleven, I auditioned for my camp play which was Little Shop of Horrors. I really wanted to play Seymour, but got Audrey II instead. I was devastated and uncontrollably sad.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to count how many days it takes to build Rome.