In response to Valuing the question or questioning the value? by Sarah_30

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I wonder sometimes if people search by match percentage andexpect good results with people they are a 80-100% match. Do youreally want to be with someone who is exactly like you by Okcupidstandards? Ummmm……if you do, don’t message me.

 For the members who submit a question, try to be specificwith the answers.  If you’re actually in search of finding agood match, the questions I rant about below aren’t going tohelp.  I understand a lot of people don’t give matchpercentage or personality awards much weight, but sometimes thingsget misconstrued. There are a lot of questions I skip because theyare worded poorly, or there’s bad grammar and poor spelling. Mypoint here is that I would like to urge everyone to get the factsfrom the person not the questions.  If someone answerssomething completely different than you, yet they otherwise looklike someone you’re interested in than ask them about it! Sometimes things aren’t so cut and dry.

Questions that ask “Would I date someone if…”   Firstof all dating is one thing and being in a committed relationship isanother. 

What exactly are you asking when you ask “Would you date someonewho was looking for true love - but no sex, at all, ever?”  Iwould date someone who didn’t want to have sex,absolutely! However, does this make me “less desiring of sex?” Doesit change my match possibilities because it appears that I’m notinterested in being in a sexual relationship?

Would I date an atheist?  Yes, I’d date anatheist but I am not an atheist. Does this make me appear “lessspiritual” or make me a mismatch for those non-atheists out there?I suppose there are some people who wouldn’t want to date someonewho says they would date an atheist.  If that’s the case Ithink Okcupid is the wrong site for them.

Okay here are some other examples of some poorly wordedquestions.

Would you consider dating somebody who grows marijuana for theirown personal use? Why yes I would consider datingsomeone who grows marijuana, doesn’t mean I will, but yes, I willconsider it. Now, does this mean I’m likely to be“moreinto drugs”? Same thing with “Would you consider being in arelationship with someone who has had homosexual sex?”  I’dconsider this, chances are I won’t BUT, I can’t say itwould be an absolute deal breaker. Does this mean I’m “morekinky”? 

Anyway, I think you catch my drift.  I would consider doinga lot of things.  I would date someone if they appeal to me. Imay not be fully understanding of Okcupid’s, match and award givingprocess, but my thought of it is, when people are allowed to createquestions with grammar and spelling issues along with poorly statedquestions and answers I have to think slightly less of theresults.  I guess you really do always get what you payfor. 

I could not agree more, especially with the dating and Atheist question but I have OFTEN felt the right answer, maybe, or something more in the middle, was not an option and I would choose the better of the two answers cause it has a possibility to be accurate as an answer but appears as if I have no ability to have choose a more moderate version. I am sure that reflects my views in a negative way to some women that would respect the answer I have given.