Growing up I wanted to be an actor or Ronald McDonald. Lack of talent in both job categories led me to my current career.

If I had a time machine and could only use it once, I'd use it to get William Shakespeare and Lil Wayne together for the ultimate lyrical battle....

Been living in Seattle for the past couple of years since graduating from college.

I don't understand why people brag about being "smarter than the average bear", bears are not that smart! Like have you ever tried talking to one? News flash - I am smarter than the average stingray, camel, antelope as well....

I am not smarter than the average dolphin.

Word of warning.... I've had conversations where the other person got physically hurt from laughing too much.... like they kept struggling to gasp for air.... it got kinda awkward.

I am eagerly anticipating the return of the Seattle Sonics!

I got a job offer to be an engineer for OkCupid a couple years ago (turned it down) so I'd figured I join and see what all the hoopla was about...

I'm working as a software engineer at Skype working on phone apps. I see myself staying in the Seattle area for some time.

I'm a P90xer (3 year + ) :) I also try to run several times a week. A lot of my friends are trying out CrossFit (i.e. doing it for two weeks then quitting after getting the free t-shirt), so maybe I'll give that a shot at some point.

My lifelong dream is to open a breakfast restaurant in Las Vegas called the "Eggscalibur."

I am the winner of the 1992 "Best Grandson" award. I was hoping to compete this year at the London Olympics, but I've been notified by the IOC that this is not a real event. My appeal is currently pending...

I'm pretty good at dropping witty one liners and getting awesome fortune cookie fortunes...

Not wearing a fedora.

The Harlem Shake.

Does anyone read these?!

That I am a never-nude. There are dozens of us.... DOZENS!!!

Books - Flight Safety Manuals, The iTunes EULA (End User License Agreement)
Movies - Battle Royale, Magnolia, American Psycho
Shows - Dexter, Lost, The Office, Family Guy, Breaking Bad, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, The Walking Dead, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
Food - Preferrably non-poinsoned, but I don't think of myself as a picky eater

I'm also really into web humor, most notably :
xkcd - The Ballmer Peak is not a myth!
Cyanide and Happiness
www.dontevenreply.com

Yawn, I'm getting kinda lazy, so I'm gonna steal this section from a random girl's profile and claim it's mine :

"Sweats, sports, chapstick, lotion, floss, and my boyfriend Rick."

Hmmm.... maybe I should have screened this before posting....

what I'm going to put in this section of my profile.

Hanging with friends, getting slizzered like a G6

I have the Wicked soundtrack on my iPhone. This amazes everyone and I've been told several times I shouldn't tell people this... but now you know...

In fact, all top ten of the most embarrassing moments of my life involve my iPhone driving music for a "crunk" party when "Defying Gravity" starts playing...

you think this is one of the dumbest profiles you've read...