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42 San Francisco, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:18pm
Middle Eastern, White
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Atheism and it’s important
Post grad
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hot, Liberated, Intellectual

... also often goofy, prone to hilarious interpretive dance/falling in traffic at rush hour, and pragmatically optimistic.

Amy Schumer is my spirit animal
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writer, curator, troublemaker
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
In no particular order:


Cleaning house. I love the therapeutic aspects of sweeping and mopping. On the flip side, I HATE folding and putting away laundry.

Raising your temperature, and maybe more, simply by wearing a little black dress and heels.

Throwing the "come hither" look, and then laughing at myself.


Being the person saying something crude at full volume when the music cuts out... yeah, that's me. That's why my best friend went to parties with me in college.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Wanton/womanly curves

Long stride and a fast walk, even in heels

Crimson curls that bounce when I laugh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

This site attracts an unusual number of good-to-great writers, and their gifts should be shared. This portion of the profile is a bit wild and wooly in terms of length, so I cut it back. Here are a few selections:

"I believe there is only one correct way to hang toilet paper. Dishwasher-loading, however, is a free-for-all."

"I love words. And logic and science. But I also love the arts and intuition and the ineffable."

"The best sound is when you hold your breath and sink to the bottom of the swimming pool and all you hear are the distant muffled garbled bubble voices and the quiet whispers of your own thoughts. Floating."

TOO many to list. This section is dedicated to current interests/those whom I hope to work with and write about.

Writers/theorists/critics, or "the geeks in whom this geek finds inspiration"

Allan Sekula, Charlotte Cotton, Roland Barthes, Benjamin Buchloh, Susan Buck Morss, Judith Butler, RETORT, Arthur C. Danto, Claire Bishop, David Levi Strauss, Ariella Azoulay, Christopher Knight, Tyler Green, William Poundstone, Susan Sontag, Lucy Lippard, Theodor Adorno, Michel Foucault, Gayatri Spivak, Alan Trachtenberg, Rebecca Solnit, A.D. Coleman, Steven Dubin, Doris Kearns Goodwin, David McCullough, David Sedaris, Fredrick Jameson and Jonathan Sawday.

Current reading selections:

Long and non fiction -
Black Flags: The Rise of ISIS (Joby Warrick)

Short fiction - The Most Human Human

Professional development -
Afterimage, Afterall, Frieze, Filip, and Aperture magazine.

Pictures Not Taken (Will Steacy)

One of my favorite writers/humorists, David Rakoff, died recently. He is sorely missed. His thoughts on writing, and cooking, ring true:

If you're curious, ask and I'll provide links to my writing at KQED, Art Practical, and SF Camerawork

The soundtrack that accompanies my life includes everything from AC/DC to Hank Williams to Glen Gould.

Current obsessions:
The Black Keys, Family of the Year, Ben Howard

Current current obsession:
Hozier, Whitehorse

The Allusionist
Grammar Girl
This American Life
Stuff You Missed in History Class
To the Best of our Knowledge
Frieze Art Fair, WireTap
Stuff You Should Know
Bad at Sports
The Moth
Hardcore History

Recent addictions...

Breaking Bad
House of Cards
Game of Thrones
True Detective (DO NOT ask me about the hot mess that is Season 2, unless you seek a detailed rant condemning nearly every aspect of the show)


Rear Window
Gone with the Wind
The King and I
Sound of Music
Now, Voyager
To Have and Have Not
Maltese Falcon

Star Wars
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Godfather I and II
All the President's Men
And Justice for All
The French Connection

Anything by John Hughes but Ferris Bueller's Day Off in particular
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Raiders of the Lost Ark/Temple of Doom
The Killing Fields
Out of Africa
Mad Max

Usual Suspects
LA Confidential
Fight Club
American Beauty
The Big Lebowski and most other Coen Brothers films
Office Space
Sense and Sensibility
Thelma and Louise
Shallow Grave

Eastern Promises
A History of Violence
Anything touched by Christopher Nolan EXCEPT Interstellar
Man on Wire
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
and documentaries by Ken and Ric Burns.

I'm excited beyond ALL measure of dignity about the next Star Wars movie.

I love it. I am getting better at cooking it. I am also trying to patronize as many restaurants as possible in San Francisco, while not simultaneously falling into bankruptcy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Presuming the basic necessities of life (air/water/food/shelter) are accounted for...

The love of my life, Hedonisticmonk
Vigorous and frequent exercise
My family and friends
Access to art, artists, and arts institutions
The oxford comma

The little "things"...

on a cold night, a bed stacked with blankets so heavy that they push me into the mattress and blissful, untroubled sleep

that moment after my cat leaps from the ground, before she alights on our bed

loud, snorting, body-shaking laughter with family and friends

a full tank of gas and an un/known destination

fresh cut grass, and how it feels and smells like summer

the scent of onions and garlic cooking in olive oil
and butter

the sound of crickets on a warm night

ice cream truck jingles tinkling in the distance

arriving just in time to catch a bus or train

the first sip of bourbon, and the warmth it brings to my skin

eating with my hands, and then savoring the taste on my fingers

a seductive smile, suggestive of the fun that is about to unfold

Men in tailored suits, particularly involving checkered shirts and dark ties. I *might* have a wee crush on John Oliver.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.

More detailed...

How to live in the now, and not worry about what comes next.

Which historical moment I would witness if I could travel in time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing, or cooking, or on a date, or...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never been hit on or picked up (one follows the other, right?) at a bar.

If we're friends, I'll do damn near anything to make you laugh.

I giggle at the most inappropriate times. It's a nervous reaction...mostly.

My first crush was Bugs Bunny.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
NOTE: If you and your partner have recently (6-12 months) opened your relationship, I wish you the best of luck. I'm happy to field questions and/or offer advice if you ask, but I'm not interested in dating. Thank you!

Please DO contact me if...

You have more to say than "Hey" in your first message. Single word messages will be deleted immediately and you will be mocked for lacking creativity and spine.

You are comfortable with a partner who is in a committed, open marriage.

You are between the ages of 30 and 50.

You live in San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland.

Please DO NOT contact me if...

You are only looking for a bed warmer.

Further to that, don't contact me if your favorite sport is slut shaming. Or do, and be prepared for the verbal beat down you richly deserve.