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42 San Francisco, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Middle Eastern, White
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A writing challenge for this writer in need:
two to three words that describe me starting with A and proceeding to Z

On second thought, suspending the writing challenge for a bit, I'll use the words chosen by another...

Hot, Liberated, Intellectual
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In equal measure, thinking and writing about art. I am a curator and writer, and with those professional designations come projects including feature articles, exhibition reviews, and multiple artist projects set to roll out in the next year.

I'm also luxuriating in married life with hedonisticmonk, a most wonderful man. In short, life is fantastic!

Nobel laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez has died, and with him goes an eye into the gorgeous, violent, magical nature of humanity.

"But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about."

RIP Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
In no particular order:


Cleaning house. I love the therapeutic aspects of sweeping and mopping. On the flip side, I HATE folding and putting away laundry.


My appreciation of all things domestic has a limit, it seems.

Raising your temperature, and maybe more, simply by wearing a little black dress and heels.

Throwing the "come hither" look, and then laughing at myself.


Being the person saying something crude at full volume when the music cuts out... yeah, that's me. That's why my best friend went to parties with me in college.

Celebrating others and their accomplishments. In that way, I am a great manager/boss/co-worker.

Activities at which I aspire to improve:
boxing, long-distance cycling, and cooking.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My height, or womanly curves?

The red curls that my mother describes as "riotous"?

Or my laugh, which is an all-body experience. You tell me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite "new" thing: Quotes from other OkC profiles (!)
This site attracts an unusual number of good-to-great writers, and their gifts should be shared. Here are a few selections:

"You, like me, are on a never ending search for the perfect blend of raw intellect and fire."

"I have a folder with a long list of things that one does on Friday night. On a typical friday night, I open a page at random and follow instructions very very carefully."

"I love words. And logic and science. But I also love the arts and intuition and the ineffable."

"The best sound is when you hold your breath and sink to the bottom of the swimming pool and all you hear are the distant muffled garbled bubble voices and the quiet whispers of your own thoughts. Floating."

"My daily meals are a barnyard holocaust of deliciousness (I eat all the animals), but I do adore vegans who can cook."

"Love, sex, the apocalypse, and how to continue making art in spite of these things."

"I'd like it to be honest, but if you just want to weave a beautiful fiction with me, I'm game for that."

"I think my maturity development stopped during that would-be small period in life when a boy is fascinated with both the toy section AND the bra section of the Sears catalog."

"I am an atheist who wishes he wasn't."

"I need to remember things, and in order to remember they need to be outstanding."

TOO many to list. This section is dedicated to current interests/those whom I hope to work with and write about. One of the sites I contribute to (Moholy Ground Online) just uploaded this project. Check this out...

Writers/theorists/critics, or "the geeks in whom this geek finds inspiration"

Allan Sekula, Charlotte Cotton, Roland Barthes, Benjamin Buchloh, Susan Buck Morss, Judith Butler, RETORT, Arthur C. Danto, Claire Bishop, David Levi Strauss, Ariella Azoulay, Christopher Knight, Tyler Green, William Poundstone, Susan Sontag, Lucy Lippard, Theodor Adorno, Michel Foucault, Gayatri Spivak, Alan Trachtenberg, Rebecca Solnit, A.D. Coleman, Steven Dubin, Doris Kearns Goodwin, David McCullough, David Sedaris, Fredrick Jameson and Jonathan Sawday.

Current reading selections: The Great Deluge (Douglas Brinkley), Core Curriculum (Tod Papageorge) and current issues of Afterimage, Afterall, Frieze, Filip, and Aperture magazine.

One of my favorite writers/humorists, David Rakoff, died recently. He is sorely missed. His thoughts on writing, and cooking, ring true:

If you're curious, my writing can be found here:

and here:

and here:

The soundtrack that accompanies my life includes everything from AC/DC to Hank Williams to Glen Gould.

Current obsessions:
The Black Keyes, Family of the Year, Ben Howard

Current current obsession:
Cage the Elephant, Radio Moscow, Hozier

This American Life
Stuff You Missed in History Class
To the Best of our Knowledge
Frieze Art Fair, WireTap
Stuff You Should Know
Bad at Sports
The Moth
Hardcore History

Recent addictions...

Breaking Bad
House of Cards
Game of Thrones
True MUTHA FUCKIN' Detective (!!!)


Rear Window
Gone with the Wind
The King and I
Sound of Music
Now, Voyager
To Have and Have Not
Maltese Falcon

Star Wars
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Godfather I and II
All the President's Men
And Justice for All
The French Connection

Anything by John Hughes but Ferris Bueller's Day Off in particular
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Raiders of the Lost Ark/Temple of Doom
The Killing Fields
Out of Africa
Mad Max

Usual Suspects
LA Confidential
Fight Club
American Beauty
The Big Lebowski and most other Coen Brothers films
Office Space
Sense and Sensibility
Thelma and Louise
Shallow Grave

Eastern Promises
A History of Violence
Anything touched by Christopher Nolan EXCEPT Interstellar
Man on Wire
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
and documentaries by Ken and Ric Burns.

Recent favorites include Last Days in Vietnam, Mr. Turner, 12 Years a Slave

Whiplash, The Imitation Game, and Foxcatcher left me exhausted and exhilarated

I love it. I am getting better at cooking it. I am also trying to patronize as many restaurants as possible in San Francisco, while not simultaneously falling into bankruptcy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Presuming the basic necessities of life (air/water/food/shelter) are accounted for...

The love of my life, Hedonisticmonk
Vigorous and frequent exercise
My family and friends
Access to art, artists, and arts institutions
The oxford comma

The little "things"...

on a cold night, a bed stacked with blankets so heavy that they push me into the mattress and blissful, untroubled sleep

that moment after my cat leaps from the ground, before she alights on our bed

loud, snorting, body-shaking laughter with family and friends

a full tank of gas and an un/known destination

fresh cut grass, and how it feels and smells like summer

the scent of onions and garlic cooking in olive oil

the sound of crickets on a warm night

ice cream truck jingles tinkling in the distance

arriving just in time to catch a bus or train

the first sip of bourbon, and the warmth it brings to my skin

eating with my hands, and then savoring the taste on my fingers

a seductive smile, suggestive of the fun that is about to unfold
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Most of my mental bandwidth is dedicated to whatever piece (review, essay) I'm working on...

How to make the most of the education and professional opportunities I've had in the service of building a meaningful career.

Modern and contemporary art, primarily but not limited to photography and new media.

How to live in the now, and not worry about what comes next.

Which historical moment I would witness if I could travel in time.

The amazing work (professional, academic, volunteer) accomplished by friends and family.

Tattoos 3-5 and where to place them

My best friend and the gorgeous babies she is raising.

The male form and why it is so attractive.

How much good food there is in San Francisco, and how much I have to exercise in order to eat whatever I want.

Knitting? Carpentry? Gardening? I want to do something with my hands.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing, or cooking, or on a date, or...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If we're friends, I'll do damn near anything to make you laugh.

I giggle at the most inappropriate times. It's a nervous reaction...mostly.

My first crush was Bugs Bunny.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
NOTE: If you and your partner have recently opened your relationship, I wish you the best of luck. I'm happy to field questions and/or offer advice if you ask, but I'm not interested in dating. Thank you!

Please DO contact me if...

You have more to say than "Hey" in your first message.

You are comfortable with a partner who is in a committed, open marriage.

You are between the ages of 30 and 50.

You live in San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland.

Please DO NOT contact me if...

You are only looking for a bed warmer.

Further to that, don't contact me if your favorite sport is slut shaming. Or do, and be prepared for the verbal beat down you richly deserve.