Riverboatjack
24 Eden Prairie, MN
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Riverboatjack
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My self-summary
Hi! My name is Jack. I'm a nerd. I work as a video game journalist and critic, a perfect fit since I really enjoy writing and playing video games. I have published a book of (probably pretty crappy) poetry and short stories. I like baking and cooking food (significantly better at baking than cooking). I'm a Christian and I do my best to love other people no matter what. There is a lot of badness in this world and I do what I can to brighten up other people's days. I like the (intersectional) feminisms and the social justices and the being nice to peoples (people are often surprised at how often those topics come up when writing about video games).

Note: Since so many people reference it and ask - No, I have not seen Titanic. I might be convinced to watch it, but you'll have to be very persuasive.

Sub-note: "Netflix and chill" sounds sublime, minus the sexual connotations. I thoroughly enjoy Netflix and occasionally love chilling.
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated a few years ago from the University of Minnesota with a degree in English Lit. and Medieval History. I spend a lot of time reading and watching narrative criticisms (Film Critic Hulk is everything I aspire to be as a critic).

I founded a freelance writing company (just celebrated a two year anniversary!) and work as an editor/content creator/community manager at Extra-Life.org as well as writing occasionally for a variety of other outlets. I literally made a career out of doing what I like/what makes me happy and that is pretty dang awesome. Basically, I am the male Liz Lemon of video game journalism (pertinent link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20FAAZnKFH4).

The downside to this is that I work from home and tend to get overly wrapped up in my writing, so someone who could help break me out of the house once in a while would be great!

I recently built my first computer. I named it Alkaia, after a mythical Amazon general and roughly means "The Mighty One."

Looking for someone with whom I can snuggle and watch Netflix - this is one of my goals in life. Think you can help me achieve it?

Also, I was recently peer pressured into getting Snapchat: riverboatjack. Feel free to add me if you want awkward selfies and pictures of things on my desk?
I’m really good at
Smiling, writing, drawing, lifting heavy laptops, drinking caffeinated beverages, playing video games, laughing, reading, growing beards (I have no particular attachment to my facial hair), looking after kids, doing what I put my mind to do, making people feel special.
The first things people usually notice about me
I think most people notice that I'm a fleshy pink thing with hair, a couple eyes, and four limbs. However, I'm only guessing!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Scaramouche, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, A Song of Ice and Fire, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Mere Christianity, Out of the Silent Planet, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Lies of Locke Lamora, The Princess Bride, Name of the Wind, Mistborn

Movies: Princess Mononoke, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Lost Skeleton of Cadavera, Gladiator, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, Casablanca, Harvey, 12 Angry Men, High Noon, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, The Good, the Bad, the Weird, The Last Starfighter. Awesome obscure films if you want bonus points/recommendations: Karate Robo Zaborgar, Troll Hunter, Troll 2. I love movies. Let's talk about how great they are! :D

Food: chicken curry with naan, tuna/rice hotdish, scrambled eggs, pancakes, Multi-Grain Cheerios, pizza (especially Crescent Moon Bakery football pizza)

Beverages: Mountain Dew, apple juice, hot chocolate

Television: Firefly, The Walking Dead, Cowboy Bebop, The Office, Battlestar Galactica, Flight of the Conchords, Psycho-Pass, Samurai Champloo, Parasyte the Maxim, Attack on Titan, ONE PUNCH FRIGGIN' MAN

I recently acquired the complete adventures of Ultraman and if you wanna cuddle up and watch/laugh at it with me, you might be my soulmate.

Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=41&v=ZTidn2dBYbY

Games: Shadow of the Colossus, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Super Mario World, StarCraft 2, League of Legends, Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Earth Defense Force 2017, Ace Combat 5, Mass Effect 1-3, Kingdom Rush, Metro 2033, FTL, Zork, BioShock: Infinite

I just hit Platinum in League of Legends! Now I'm aiming for Diamond. Here I come, top 1% of League players! >:D

Currently Playing: XCOM 2

Currently Writing: XCOM 2
The six things I could never do without
A computer, a Bible, caffeine, sugar, my dog, and (I'm not sure if people should be counted as things, but whatever) people to love.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Video games, life, the universe, everything, fish, towels, new stories, imaginary characters, video games, how I can improve myself, how to achieve my goals, how to make other people happy, and video games.

My dream trip to New Zealand...

Why dogs in movies and cartoons are like recently chopped onions for my eyeballs.

Why people feel compelled to add "having fun" to the list of things they enjoy doing. Shouldn't that just be one of those things that doesn't need to be said? Everyone enjoys having fun, right?
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing video games with friends, at a party (think nerd party), or working (since my job doesn't have strictly defined working hours).

... I am boring. Hope you're okay with that!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you mean embarrassing stories, I have more than enough of those, like how I got peed on by a squirrel, gave a eulogy for a balloon, or went to an Awkward Dance and won first prize. Ooor the time my parents tried to set me up with a 16 year old grocery store cashier. Also I love giant monster movies. A lot. I MAY have seen every single Godzilla film ever made. And I love them (except for Son of Godzilla, that movie blows).

I unironically enjoy the song 'What Is Love' by Haddaway.

For some reason I judge people when it comes to footwear. I really don't know why, but it is one of the first things I notice about a person.

I have small feet.

I frequently consider rewriting this profile to contain nothing but the word "butts." (Note: I have now done this. The number of butt-related messages I received was pleasing.)

*deep breath*

Also, all of my past relationships have been awful. None have ever gone longer than a month and a half or been "Facebook Official." And I am terrible at flirting. I might have a pizza profile on the Dominos website. I develop attachments and feelings quickly and care about things/people too much. And I'm kind of a weirdo and harbor a deep-seated fear that no one will ever be able to accept the awkward, dumb, lazy, oddball that is me. Soooo, I'm kind of a big deal. Get at me, ladies!

Oh, and I have been exploring a bit more of my genderfluid side since I shaved my beard. *shrug*
You should message me if
- You find me interesting and want to talk to me. I'd most likely want to talk to you!

- If you want to swap stories, talk video games, or want to share something interesting about yourself. You get delicious, delicious brownie points!

- You can write. I appreciate an attractive woman who can write in coherent sentences. Sentences are sexy.

- You want to put your mouth on my mouth.

- You found that last bullet point funny.

- You wanna play League of Legends.

- You want to talk about how cool Netflix's Daredevil season two is gonna be. (Update 10/19/15: OR HOW THAT NEW STAR WARS TRAILER IS SO AMAZING IT NECESSITATES ALL CAPS.)

- You are okay with cuddling, snuggling, and making out as the height of my physical ambitions with you for a good long while. If you are looking for a casual bang buddy, Steamysextimes McGee, I am not him.

- You'd be up for doing lame things with me like going apple picking or to farmer's markets/garage sales/antique shops or exploring the North Shore. I need a partner in awesome.

- You know what you want out of a relationship and you have/are willing to make time to see where a relationship can go.

- You have a warm smile and some killer shoes.

- You want to send me weird snapchats, because I guess I have one of those now.

- You are Canadian. Canadians are sexy.

Note: If you've made it this far on my profile, good job! I am currently in the middle of that special time of the year when work becomes stupid-crazy. It flares up at the beginning of summer and then again during the Holiday season, so I am incredibly sorry if I get bad at responding on here. I sincerely apologize if your message gets lost in the shuffle. Try poking me again if I don't respond relatively quickly? Also, if you see me visiting your profile, I probably find you attractive and want to put my mouth on your mouth.

Please do NOT message me if you have ever seriously considered voting for Donald Trump or Ted Cruz.
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