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30 M Arlington, VA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:10am
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Well, for starters, I'm not weird, creepy, or perverted. You might think it's kind of ridiculous that I have to explicitly say that right off the bat, but you can thank the guys on here who so eloquently craft messages like "LEMME C DEM TITTIES BITCH!1!11!" for setting the standard by which I'm being judged.

Anyway, I'm tall, I love sports and America (just in case you couldn't tell from my American flag picture...unless you thought it was dead serious, in which case you probably think I'm a complete narcissist), and I'm pretty funny if you're not easily offended. I've been told by a few people that I remind them of the comedian Louis C.K., which is funny because I've always thought about doing stand-up comedy.
What I’m doing with my life
Government contracting. Contrary to most other people, I actually like going to work. Don't get me wrong though, if I could quit my job and play in the NFL/NBA/NHL/PGA Tour, I'd rather be doing that.
I’m really good at
Throwing a football, moving furniture, chopping wood, being a responsible homeowner, and public speaking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't have much time for books; I'm a movie and TV buff. I love shitty 80s action and horror movies, and just about any hour-long TV show on cable.

If you never watched Breaking Bad, you seriously need to re-evaluate your life.

I like any music that sounds like 1980s Metallica, or if something has shredding guitar solos. Basically anything that sounds like this:
Yes, I realize the song he's playing is called "Cradle Robber". The irony is not lost on me. Side note: although I play guitar, the guy in that video is not me (some have asked). Although, I hope to be able to play that well in about, oh, 40 years.

I could probably eat mexican food every day of my life and be perfectly OK with it.
The six things I could never do without
I've got way more than six. The main one would be golf though. I love, love, love golf, AND I'm kind of good at it. Sometimes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why the American workday has yet to institute an official "naptime". Can you imagine how much more productive you'd be if you got to sleep for like, 20 minutes right after lunch? Holy SHIT would I get so much more done.
On a typical Friday night I am
Watching TV or movies, or working out. I adopted a routine of staying in on Fridays, and going out on Saturdays. It's a lot more fun to fully commit to one night instead of half-assing both nights.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Two separate, unrelated people told me that I resembled Gerard Butler. Another told me I looked like Bryce Harper. I don't see it, but I do have to admit that those are two pretty handsome dudes.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–31
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if think Miley Cyrus should be pushed off a cliff.

Also, I can't believe I need to address this, but:
please don't message me if you've been single for ten minutes and are on hiatus with your significant other. Both of our time is valuable; don't waste it.