For every Buddha Belly you see that makes you cringe..I see ten postpartum bellies with tattoos on their chest that make me wince.
For every man with shades on to hide crossed eyes...I see a woman holding her selfie stick toward the moon to appear svelte. Google 'svelte'.
For every shirtless selfie you see that makes you gag...I see 10 grown women making Miley Cyrus faces.
For every grown man you see dressed like a teen...I see a woman with Ronald McDonald makeup and lipstick colors and a different wig or weave for every day of the week...sometimes matching the color of a stop sign..or grape bubble gum.
For every man emailing you misusing the words their, they're or there, I encounter a woman who has a PhD CLEARLY from Phoenix University.
For every man you see showing off his material possessions...I see 1000 women who are dying to be bought. Two-for-one for real 'ballers'.
For every time a man shows up on a date being six inches shorter...I meet a woman 40 pounds heavier.
You hate texting for hours, I would rather call. I need Lasik from all this texting.
Dying to ditch your fake emergency plan you have set up with your girlfriend for bad dates? I am dying to not have to peek around the corner before she gets there, praying!
So here...take this virtual hug. I feel your pain.
Now on with the show!
I know. I know. Information. You all want info..So, I am from Los Angeles...suffering from segregated social interaction culture shock! I moved here 7 long years ago. Long story short...my parents moved here my last year in college. I did not. Dad ditched mom. Mom had no job. Sons came. All is well. I am a singer, in a band. We got signed a year or so ago, after 94 years of effort...so, you know two things about me from that. I never quit, and I am loyal to whatever, or whomever I believe in...until the end. The "why am I single question'...is answered by saying my women (African American women) just don't seem to want a man ..they want a thug-type to make another child support case with...and they think any man with style is gay..not thinking he could just be stylish because he wants a stylish woman. Could never be that, right? I cannot believe I belong to a group of people so ridiculously narrow in thought. It's beyond frustrating. I actually thought they would be sick of the sneakers and rapper-types, but I guess not, so I hope to meet a polka-dotted woman who thinks individualistically... not stereotypically. Anyway.. I travel often...have been to places like Bora Bora and Tanzania. New Zealand and Hong Kong. My mother raised me to be multi-faceted, interesting, and to understand that the role of a man is to create an environment of spiritual, financial, and emotional safety for the future yin to my yang, and I fully accept it, and look forward to it. I have done the date date date thing...told tall tales to get some tail when I was younger, but now..I am beyond ready to check out that other mythical thing...for real. You know, be that someone who listens while you complain about your crazy co-worker...while I sit, and nod...occasionally chiming in with a well-timed "that B**** is crazy"! All I ask is that you feed me. You do not have to even cook it (I am getting a chef when I get hitched)..just make sure it is in the house...and I will always make sure you have things like electricity and a clean car (full of gas), because for some reason....women are against visiting a car wash..ever. You just wait until it rains. Go outside and look at your car, right now.
See ...you need me. Teamwork makes the dream work.
Music: This new band you have yet to hear of; Miles Davis, Stevie, Marvin, John Coltrane, Old soul, Thievery Corp, Zero 7, Ray Charles and LaMontagne.. Mint Condition. JM3, Bonobo.
Movies:Love Jones. What Dreams May Come.The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. That shit is FUNNY!