Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
They say I am a strange, wonderful man.
New to New York (Because I had problems with my sleep) I'm not
gonna say something cheesy like "Show me around!" Because I know
native NYer's aren't tour guides (But if you can tell me
inexpensive places to eat besides dollar pizzas, I'd be
I'm a series of contradictions. I'm a loner who seems to be a
magnet for people (Like a human version of Stone Soup). I say
things that are funny and sad at the same time. I crave culture,
but I think nothing's more beautiful than nature. I'm a big history
buff, but talk of the "good old days" irriates me. I'm a kind of a
born devil's advocate in a world of diminishing majority
In short, I'm someone worth getting to know, at least so you can
say you did it.
By the way, I find the (waning) stigma against online dating dumber
than online dating itself. "Oh, you need a computer to help with
dating?" Well, yeah. I think in a world of gender equality and no
dowries, this is actually the best way.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I conform to the system by working in a bookstore, but by night I
do stand-up comedy. I travel around the Northeast a lot, so I'm
always looking to meet new people. I'm not super famous or anything
yet, but I am on a published calendar. It has its ups and its
downs, but I've been paid hundreds of dollars to talk about
centaurs, and is that not the kind of thing this country was
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm most proud my ability to extract the element oxygen, from the
atmosphere (which is mostly made of poisons, but I know how pick
out the good stuff) and convert it into my blood. I can also
breathe out carbon dioxide, which helps plants grow. So you know
that lovely tree outside? You're totally welcome.
I'm not a bad cook for transient bachelor. I make a mean salsa dip
with potatoes that I call "Nacho Pichu". I have a reputation for
trivia, I don't deserve--there are severe gaps in my knowledge.
(particularly sports). But I guess once you know what a "Phalanx"
is, people assume you know what everything is.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm pacing back and forth a lot. And I guess my glasses and
beard, because they're an extraneous feature people can say I have.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I suppose I love reading about classical mythology and sociological
theory (Stuff like "Guns, Germs and Steel" and "Nine Nations of
I dunno, Godfather, Lord of the Rings, Casablanca, all that AFI
stuff? My favorite directors include Wes Anderon, Darren Aronofsky,
David Cronenberg and the Coens. I like movies in general, and I
think any reasonably regarded one is worth watching. The exception
being that I find "Braveheart" pretty lousy.
New stuff I like includes Frightened Rabbit, Tegan and Sara, the
XX. Older stuff I like includes Pink Floyd and the Cars. Older,
older stuff includes Karl Orff and Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Also, I
really, really like the soundtrack to Krull. Seriously, it's weird,
it compares to the greats of the Romantic period. Listening to it,
I can imagine myself on some great pastoral hilltop having a picnic
with my mistress or something. To be honest, While I listen to a
lot of music, it's actually one of my my least favorite things to
discuss. Number one, because I'm terrible at making out lyrics.
Two, music tends to be subculture-intensive, and I don't get
My favorite food of all is tacos, and anything taco-like, even
those weird combinations Taco Bell thinks Mexican people actually
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Fall foliage, tacos, swimming, reading material, stagetime, the
internet and the various tubes that connect it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How social conservatism and economic conservatism really make no
sense joined together. And how the 90's was 50's for
America as a low fantasy setting.
What the top five of everything is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Stationary, in a cleansing trance where I expel all my evil into an
external manifestation. However, this personification gains a
self-awareness and independence, and goes on a reign of terror,
comitting atrocities to slake its unslakeable base desires. Hence,
it falls to me to slay this monstrous side of me, this Tiamet to my
Marduk. But in committing cold-blooded murder, I defile my own
purity, re-sowing the seeds of evil back into my person, and
starting the cycle anew.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have video game files saved that I don't want to override because
they were from before my dog died, which is pretty dumb because my
dog didn't even like video games.
Also, I should mention my hair is thinning, if you can tell. It's
annoying, because I don't look like it unless surrounded by
unflattering lighting. It makes me feel like I'm trying to trick
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
This section is funny because I'm pretty sure due to gender
dynamics and the supply-and-demand aspect, most guys do the
messaging. So it's kind of pointless since 95% of the time I'm
going to message you first. (Also, what's with this weird habit of
girls who don't respond but periodically check my profile?) I guess
it's not a literal thing, just a "turn-ins/turn-offs" primer. I
mean, maybe I should do a better job at selling myself than getting
hung up on how superfluous this is. So here goes. You're on this
site because the bar scene isn't doing it for you, right? Well, I'm
as antithecal to the bar scene as possible. So why not talk to me?
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.