Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Apparently, no one can see my profile :( Send me a message if you
can see this even if it says, "FU you dork" :)
Ok ladies (and Justin Bieber) I will not post pictures of my junk
so please stop asking.
I like people who appreciate the difference between "feeling you're
nuts" and "feeling your nuts."
I can get along with almost anyone - it's a job hazard. I use my
sense of humor to make others (and myself) comfortable. I love
sarcasm. I consider myself somewhat of an intellectual but not in a
cardigan-sweater-smoking-a-pipe sort of way. I'm an excellent
napper - wish I could find a way to get paid for it.
"He's all I wanted and more!" Julia R.
"I laughed, I cried, he became a part of me" Megan F.
"Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!" Angelina J.
I speak English flatulently.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I own a children's entertainment place where I jack the kids up on
caffeine and sugar and then send them home to Mom and Dad :) God, I
love my job!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh and feel comfortable. Napping.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Some say I look a bit like Brad Pitt but don't trust the
You will not be disappointed with the time you have with me. Ok,
that might be a bit c0cky but chicks dig me. (Can you identify the
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't read anything much longer that an stop sign (ADHD.)
Comedies, action, sifi and porn (who doesn't)
Love all music (especially live) except country and gangster crap
(I'm mean rap.) U2, Black Eyed Peas, Bocelli, Bad Company, Dire
Straits, Enigma, The Four Seasons, Pink Floyd Buckcherry (see the
I like trying new restaurants but I really eat junk a lot.
I like Dexter (sad to see it go,) Two and a half men, Big bang
theory and Homeland (although, I just realized the only reason I
watch it is the hope that Mandy Patinkin will catch a terrorist and
say to him "my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Raindrops on roses
2. Whiskers on kittens
3. Bright copper kettles
4. A shovel
5. Ice cream sandwiches
Not necessarily in that order (the ice cream sammies have to come
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, the universe and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Planning to conquer the world... and drinking a beer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't walk in flip-flops. Update: I am getting better at the
flip-flops - can even wear them during sex now ;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are interested in someone who acts way younger than he is...
but not totally immature. And you want a relationship to develop
into what what every healthy relationship wants to be: indentured
I was informed by Cindy, my favorite bartender, that some may think
that because there is so much sarcasm in this profile that it
should not be taken seriously. I hope to someday (eventually) never
want to log onto here again.
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