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33 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Strictly other
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Thank you for clicking on my face.

Things about me:

I'm originally from Southern California and I moved to WA three years ago. My time here has consisted of design, dive bars, kickball, petting dogs, being compared to the unibomber, and having conversations with strangers in bars.

If we exchange messages I will probably ask you to happy hour or something else fairly quickly. I'd just rather meet in person... and I will NEVER ask you to coffee. There are certain principles in this life I am willing to compromise, but getting to know you over the backdrop of "endless sipping noises and clinking spoons" is never going to happen.

I am sincerely "un-hip"... hopefully you would describe that as "charmingly un-hip", and not "tragically un-hip". This is ok though, because I'm open minded and willing to talk about why you love the new [POPULAR SOCIAL THING] so much.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I live in Seattle and work in tech; magical unicorn alert! No, I'm not a bro-grammer, no I dont work for THAT tech company, no I dont hit the hill with my boys on Friday night to down some brews.

When I moved to Seattle I did so for no particular reason. After being here about a year I decided I should buy a house... for no particular reason. And now I'm filling out an online dating profile... you can probably figure out the reason for this one.

Getting drunk and having conversations with strangers, and sometimes people from the internet. If this doesnt sound like your thing, pretend I wrote about camping or rock climbing instead.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Using a method of sarcasm which is so subtle it cannot be perceived by some human brains, leaving the other person to miss the sarcastic device, get mad at me, and sometimes de-friend on Facebook.

Words. I subscribe to "word of the day" emails... if you send me a response back with "WORD OF THE DAY!" I will reply back with today's entry.

Lists. To the point that sometimes when I get something done, and it wasn't on a list, I will write that item down and then cross it out.

Speaking extemporaneously. Just try to find a subject I cant talk about and endlessly tangent off of.

This question should be re-titled as, "humble brag about yourself/be braggadocios and then use mild self deprecating humor to make yourself not sound like a douche!"
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Certainly not the final fantasy hair.

That I talk loud. I can't help it... I have the type of voice which tends to carry and when I'm excited about something I tend to RAISE MY VOICE WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT AND... oh, sorry... see, that's what I was talking about...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums.

I eat any type of food-- any. Especially foods that others tend to loathe because I like things that are distinct. The exception to this is gefilte fish, which I'm starting to believe is just an example of the jewish people trolling the rest of us. Its a gelatinous mess.

I read a lot... judging by what other people usually list in this category for books, I am probably familiar with the authors you read.

TV: Its Always Sunny, Archer, whatever I can binge watch on Netflix

Movies: Yes, lets go to the movies!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I dont think I've ever read a single response to this question that was really awesome... which is a risky thing to write as it could summon the wrath of the Railroad Queen.

So instead I'll just mention that if your profile mentions "going on an adventure"/"seeking a partner in crime" I will show up to the date with a grappling hook and expect you not to make it weird.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lots of people have recently told me I remind them of Archer. I'm now wondering if that's a polite way of telling me I'm a bit of a dick.

The Universe. The increasingly likely idea that this universe and everything we have ever known is a hologram. What it would be like to endless bifurcate as I fell into a black hole. What gamma ray bursts are really like.

Why so many people have the ubiquitous weird-angled pictures of themselves rockclimbing. I rock climb on occasion and I think its great that you do as well, but cant you just tell me you like to rock climb, and Ill take your word for it? I think I already know what you look like when rock climbing 200 yards away... like a speck of a human in a harness against a rock cliff. It's tough to tell the difference between you/anyone else/Danny Devito in some of the rock climbing pics.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably watching "Dateline". If your new spouse wants to go scuba diving on your honeymoon, he/she is trying to kill you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once dropped a girl off after a date and said, "Goodnight, I'll most likely kill you in the morning"... and she was the only girl in my demographic who hadn't seen The Princess Bride. Awkward.

How anytime I go back and read my own profile I am absolutely mortified by what I wrote and how I come off. Yes, like Cyberdyne, I am somewhat self-aware.

I just dont care about instagram.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think that maybe, possibly, I could be the type of person who you can see making physical contact with you without triggering your desire to reach for the bear mace.

You are the type of person who orders something off a menu specifically because you don't know what it is.

You got that the Phil Collins stuff was a joke.

You like bar trivia, and would like a partner.

You can have a conversation without just asking questions.