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Robot_Mike

32 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Thank you for clicking on my face.

Things about me:

My sense of humor is disgusting, vulgar, ribald, morose, dark, un-redeemable and completely without merit; truly a man of ill repute.

If we exchange messages I will probably ask you to happy hour or something else fairly quickly. I'd just rather meet in person... don't make it weird.

I am sincerely "un-hip"... hopefully you would describe that as "charmingly un-hip", and not "tragically un-hip". This is ok though, because I'm open minded and willing to talk about why you love the new [POPULAR SOCIAL FAD 253B] so much.

I'm originally from Southern California and I moved to WA two years ago. My time here has consisted of design, dive bars, waxing poetic, petting dogs, being compared to the unibomber, and having conversations with strangers in bars.
What I’m doing with my life
Career stuff at a tech company... I know, I live in Seattle and work in tech; magical unicorn.

When I moved to Seattle (where I knew no one) I did so for no particular reason. After being here about a year I decided I should buy a house... for no particular reason. And now I'm filling out an online dating profile... you can probably figure out the reason for this one.

Kickball/soccer/random sporting events.

Living in adult Disneyland.
I’m really good at
Using a method of sarcasm which is so subtle it cannot be perceived by most human brains, leaving the other person to miss the sarcastic device, get mad at me, and sometimes de-friend on Facebook.

Words. I subscribe to "word of the day" emails... if you send me a response back with "WORD OF THE DAY!" I will reply back with today's entry.

Lists. To the point that sometimes when I get something done, and it wasn't on a list, I will write that item down and then cross it out.
The first things people usually notice about me
Certainly not the final fantasy hair.

That I talk loud. I can't help it... I have the type of voice which tends to carry and when I'm excited about something I tend to RAISE MY VOICE WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT AND... oh, sorry... see, that's what I was talking about...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like fantasy stuffs.

I eat any type of food-- any. Especially foods that others tend to loathe because I like things that are distinct. The exception to this is gefilte fish. I honestly believe the jews are just trolling us with this gelatinous mess.

I read a lot... judging by what other people usually list in this category for books, I am probably familiar with the authors you read.

TV: Its Always Sunny, Archer, whatever I can binge watch on Netflix

Movies: Yes, lets go to the movies!

Music: Lets see.... ummm... Cat Stevens? Uhhh... James Taylor? No... wait, I mean... oh. I've messed this part up... oh dear.
The six things I could never do without
1. Listing
2. Pattern recognition
3. Long conversations over craft cocktails
4. The awesome tension of awkward moments, and the weird sexual tension on a date right before the spot where we makeout.
5. Sense of humor
6. "Local spots"

7. Early mornings, with time, coffee, and a book.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether I'm a compelling protagonist or tragic anti-hero.

The Universe. The increasingly likely idea that this universe and everything we have ever known is a hologram.

Why so many people have the ubiquitous weird-angled pictures of themselves rockclimbing. I rock climb on occasion and I think its great that you do as well, but cant you just tell me you like to rock climb, and Ill take your word for it? I think I already know what you look like when rock climbing 200 yards away... like a speck of a human in a harness against a rock cliff. It's tough to tell the difference between you/anyone else/Danny Devito in some of the rockclimbing pics.

Whatever book I've most recently read.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably watching "Dateline". If your new spouse wants to go scuba diving on your honeymoon, he/she is trying to kill you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once dropped a girl off after a date and said, "Goodnight, I'll most likely kill you in the morning"... and she was the only girl in my demographic who hadn't seen The Princess Bride. Awkward.

I just dont care about instagram.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You can make a funny "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia" reference and would like me to respond in kind.

You like awesome fun.

You appreciate conversations.

You appreciate long silences and dont feel compelled to break them up with silliness.

You want to have weekend brunch.

You like bar trivia, and would like a partner.