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24 Chicago, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 18–24
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Dec 16
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
* I regularly ask myself "What would Olympia Dukakis do?" Then I do that. .

* Swapping book recommendations is a powerful aphrodisiac.

* I'm obsessed with old sitcoms, campy B movies, and the camp sensibility in general.

* Stop being mean to Anne Hathaway.

* I hate emoticons. It's nothing personal, but really? Use your words.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm studying International Relations and working to learn Arabic. I would like to work for the State Department or an NGO. I want to travel, see the world, and all that. My fallback is to be a bitter high school English teacher that tries to convince my students that their only choice in life is to work and die in the local coal mine. It's a zero sum game for me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Speaking eloquently about the meaning of books I haven't read. I never read Dracula, but when I wrote an essay saying that the vampire mouth was a hermaphroditic sex organ you better believe I got a smiley face sticker on that bitch.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The fact that that dude just totally melted something with his mind....Also, that I take exactly zero things seriously.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Name of the Wind, Everything is Illuminated, The Remains of the Day, Never Let Me Go, The Dialects of Sex, The Wild Things, Cyrano de Bergerac, The Mistborn Trilogy, The Handmaid's Tale, Streetcar Named Desire, We the Living, The Alchemist, The Defining Moment, American Gods, Grapes of Wrath, Things Fall Apart, Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Movies: Heathers, Soapdish, She Devil, Death Becomes Her, V for Vendetta, Harold and Maude, Brideshead Revisited, Revolutionary Road, anything Meryl Streep has ever been in, The Hours, The Orphan, The Ruins, and any awful horror movie I can laugh at.

Music: Animal Collective, Bright Eyes, Death Cab, Postal Service, Tom Waits, Frank Sinatra, Grizzly Bear, The Fratellis, The Strokes, The Beatles, M. Ward, Kimya Dawson, Moderato, Andrew Bird, Sufjan Stevens, Ani Difranco, Belle and Sebastian, Bob Dylan, Cat Power, The Decemberists, Flight of the Conchords, The Hush Sound, The Moldy Peaches, Scissor Sisters

Food: Licorice Jelly Beans, and Coffee
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order: chinese food, Netflix, books, my mp3 player, my bike, and sarcasm
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If I could have any super power it would be the ability to recast any movie as I see fit. I could make any terrible movie awesome. Just take any movie about a loose-cannon cop on the run and replace the lead with Jessica Walters. Shit's getting watched.

Meryl Streep, Jessica Lange, and Bonnie Hunt would basically be in every movie.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Glass of wine and an endless series of Wikipedia pages.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In 2010 a friend and I crashed a Tea Party rally in downtown Chicago and went under the aliases Tucker Beauregard and Helen LeBeautre. We carried signs that read "Hey, Obama, If You Love SOCIALISM So Much, Why Don't You Marry It???" and "No, I Will Not Make Out With You, Obama". We made BFFLs with a 79 year-old birther, but had to leave around the time the guy with the megaphone called gay people "sexual deviants" and the one rally participant with any sense of irony figured out our ruse.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Honestly, if you read the vampire mouth thing and kept reading, you're good people in my book. That being said, a few points:

1) I like to start my conversations in medias res: let's pretend the "Hey. You seem cool. What's up?" is already out of the way.

2) I think it's only fair I mention that looking for a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship does not appeal to me. I like talking to cool people and making friends. If anything develops from that, awesome, but it's not my end game.

3) Must love American Horror Story.