I write stuff and make jokes.

Sorry, that was really longwinded, I'll try to be more to the point henceforth.

Writing sketch comedy: www.youtube.com/PeteAndRoland

I also work at a production company, but only until I qualify for the American olympic baton twirling team.

What else? Oh, Polar Bear dives, naked parasailing, Pogs, and I'm trying open a banana stand.

Skip-It, Crossfire, Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Rosa Parks impersonations.

Retaining useless knowledge. I meeean a lot of useless information.

Figuring out how things work and fixin' stuff (you can't hear, but I was doing a southern accent, it seemed fitting)

Entertaining myself.

My bust, then my eyes, then usually back to my bust.

Books: I'm illiterate and blind.

Movies: Again blind, but I like to listen too: Ghostbusters, Jurassic Park, Baseketball, Airplane, the Naked Gun series, Spaceballs, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Princess Bride, Anchorman, any Arnold movie especially True Lies, American Psycho, The Big Sleep, The Great Dictator, Double Imdemnity, and soooo many more.

TV: The League, Arrested Development, Psych, South Park, Scrubs, Police Squad, Fringe, How I Met Your Mother.

Music: The Lumineers, Temper Trap, Two Door Cinema Club, Bloc Party, The Black Keys, Friendly Fires, The Civil Wars, Of Monsters and Men, RAC, Penguin Prison, SBTRKT, MSTRKRFT, Starfucker, Minus the Bear, Dragonette, Anything 80's especially Matthew Wilder, Men at Work, Michael Jackson, Prince, Billy Ocean, Motion City Soundtrack, He Is Legend, Foster the People, Bronze Radio Return, Discovery, M83, anything.

Food: I'm on a hunger strike to protest hunger strikes. But when I'm done, probably sushi or a burrito. Oooor a sushi burritos. I think I would actually eat that. It couldn't be bad.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Highlights Magazines

Figuring out what six things I could never do without

Those sticky hands you get in the quarter machines at grocery stores

My pocket protector

Hummus

How jawesome Street Sharks are.

What the original American Gladiators are doing with their lives.

How hilarious it is that 95% of the girls on OKC have an aversion to the misusage of your, you're, their, there, and they're, yet somewhere in their profile they used improper grammar. WAIT! Did I use the right form? Hold on a second. Googling. Yes, I did. Phew.

Scone is also a funny word, but I don't like them, I prefer croissants.

Boyfights Cookouts.

I invented the piano key neck tie.

If you're friends with Native American Joe Pesci.
You can tell me a funny story.
You like burritos.
You own a penguin.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU OWN A PENGUIN.