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36 F Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Aug 16, 2013
White, Other
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Other, and laughing about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Dislikes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Japanese (Poorly), Irish (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Up there it says "F / Gay / Available", which is closer to the truth than any of the other options, but it is more accurate to say that I'm a thirtysomething smart kinky queer genderqueer polyamorous night owl wordgeek.

I play with words for a living. It's awesome.

I have two partners in my apartment, a not-girlfriend three blocks away, a dance-girlfriend in Boston, and a not-boyfriend in London. Also many friends, occasional lovers, adopted siblings, quasi-godchildren, mentors, students, etc. I'm always looking for more fun people to hang out with, though my tendency to volunteer for things (why do I do this? why?) and my wacky sleep schedule (awake until 3 a.m., then asleep until 10 a.m.) somewhat limit my socializing.

More general biographical information can be found here:

Or you could just Google me; my name actually is Rose Fox, and most of the top Google matches for that name are me. (The DeviantArt profile is not. Neither is the Nevada real estate agent.) If we make plans to meet up, I'll Google your name just to make sure you're not a liar or a crazy stalker, so you might as well do the same for me.

Quickmatchers: I'm rosefox. Come look me up, because I ignore Quickmatch. Vehemently.

I am diligent, quick, and kind.
What I’m doing with my life
I walk. I talk. I sing. I dance. I work. I play. I write. I edit. I read. I analyze. I listen. I ponder. I snuggle. I struggle. I strive. I travel. I roam. I investigate. I look. I leap. I cook. I eat. I sleep. I knit. I sew. I fold. I squee. I flirt. I snort. I laugh. I love.
I’m really good at
fixing other people's mistakes, creating marvels on a shoestring budget, organizing complex situations, ignoring things I don't want to deal with (hey, sometimes they really do go away), working with my hands, being kind and generous, being really really clear and explicit, completing well-defined projects on deadline, engaging the proper etiquette and behavior scripts for any given occasion, giving directions, following directions, saying "please" and "thank you", and taking care of myself when I'm upset or in need.

To be fair, I'm really bad at remembering to eat, making myself go to sleep when I know I'll have to get up early, finishing things I start, focusing on one topic or doing a single thing for more than a few months, coping with being startled or surprised, doing anything for the first time, being ambitious, and being creative.

"Lifting heavy things" used to be on the second list, but I'm getting better at it, which makes me think I should have an "I'm getting better at" list. But this profile is way too long already.
The first things people usually notice about me
My hair length is somewhere between "velvet" and "fur", depending on which week you catch me. I buzz it mostly because it feels awesome and is the world's lowest-maintenance haircut, but the visual effect is apparently pretty striking. And yes, you can rub my head.

My fashion sense is superb. I don't always choose to dress up, but when I do, people notice.

After that? My beautiful blue eyes, gloriously substantial rear end, perpetual smirk, complete intolerance for bullshit, and cheerful willingness to speak forthrightly and in a clear and carrying voice about money, sex, surgery, and other inappropriate dinner-table conversation topics.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food There isn't enough room, really. Even an abbreviated list of my favorites would go on far too long.

If you're looking for someone who's into old-school science fiction, innovative fantasy/slipstream/interstitial fiction, historical romance, medical history, urban studies, intelligent non-exploitative pornography (written or filmed), geek movies, classical choral music, barbershop and a capella, big band jazz, 80s pop, circus/steampunk music, live musical performances of just about any kind, New York Jewish cuisine, European cuisines, Asian cuisines, and/or unusual baked goods, I probably meet at least some of your qualifications.

If, however, you want to meet someone who's really into dissonant music, plays, musicals, movies, television, philosophical treatises disguised as fiction, fiction disguised as science writing, foods generally described as "pungent", or strict vegetarianism or veganism, I am not the boygirl for you.
The six things I could never do without
I will join the legions of people noting that this is a pretty stupid question. Instead, six things I could totally do without: garlic (yes, really), dairy products (I love them but am tragically allergic to them), high-fructose corn syrup, high-heeled shoes, mind-altering substances, and the thirtysomething straight white American cis male protagonist.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to get enough time for self-care and artistic development given my host of obligations and generally crazy schedule.

Social justice has been on my mind a whole lot lately, where by "lately" I mean "for at least the last couple of years". I care passionately about promoting equality and fighting bigotry, and am increasing my efforts to point out problems where I see them and make my communities safer for minorities of all stripes.

At any given time, I'm likely to be obsessed by some activity that requires ingenuity and craft. At the moment it's editing an anthology of speculative stories from the margins of history ( Before that it was putting together the program for Readercon (, a speculative fiction convention for critics and academics. Before that it was organizing the Playford Ball for Country Dance * New York ( Before that it was making a magazine in 24 hours ( Before that it was moving from my Inwood home of seven years to Crown Heights, since my partner X had moved in with me and my partner J and we needed more room. Before that it was reviving my freelance writing and editing career after a year of full-time employment (and please shoot me if I ever again decide that what I really need is a job where I have to be in an office at 9 a.m.). Before that it was figuring out how to fit my vast nonfiction library on the pretty but shallow new shelves in my room. (Fiction is shelved in the living room, floor to ceiling, double-stacked.) Before that it was nurikabe puzzles and getting back into various kink-related activities that had kind of fallen by the wayside. Before that it was KenKen puzzles and planning a trip to Singapore. Before that it was juggling a triple career of book review editing, website usability analysis, and freelance medical writing. Before that it was feeding 300 people heartily and well for four days on $2300. (Since then I have graduated to feeding 700 people heartily and well for four days on $4000.) Before that it was dance choreography. Before that it was designing and knitting a dress. Before that it was worldbuilding for a series of novels that I look forward to writing if I ever actually finish the worldbuilding. Before that it was an enormous cross-stitch piece. Mind you, that's all since 2007 or so. I update this list approximately quarterly.
On a typical Friday night I am
on a cheap bus to Boston (I visit every month or two), or out at dinner with friends, or snuggling with J, or drinking tea with X, or playing old video games on my laptop, or arriving at a science fiction convention, or chatting with a friend on the phone or via IM, or hanging out on Twitter, or playing Boggle with my mother, or laughing under your open window at 1 a.m. Did I wake you?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
On Obama's inauguration day, I shaved all my pubic hair and danced around naked shouting "No more Bush!". That's not something I really consider private, though; it's just something most other people would consider private. Or loony, possibly.

I have herpes simplex virus type 1 and 2. Both are entirely asymptomatic and always have been, but there is still a risk of transmission through asymptomatic viral shedding. If this is an issue for you, we should probably rule out being on smooching terms. I was diagnosed with HPV in October 2008 but have since tested "negative" (probably still there but at undetectable levels). Isn't it nice to get this out of the way early on so we can have realistic expectations and focus on enjoying each other's company?

If there's something you're curious about, ask me. I don't flip the "private" bit on many things, and chances are good that you'll get a detailed answer. It may, in fact, be more detailed than you want. My careers have included stints as a medical journalist and a porn movie reviewer, so it is now basically impossible to gross me out or shock me, and I occasionally forget that what I'm saying might gross out or shock someone else. Sorry about that.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like girls
  • Ages 26–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
you think "message" is a noun and not a verb.

If you have "sex" on your list of things you can't do without or spend a lot of time thinking about, you probably shouldn't waste your time trying to chat me up, unless you seriously are looking for Just Friends. I already have one partner whose libido way outclocks mine. I don't need more.

As noted repeatedly, I'm kind of short on free time for social stuff. I don't really do spontaneity, and I spent nearly 20 years in long-distance relationships of one sort or another, so it doesn't occur to me to be bothered if weeks go by without seeing someone as long as we're in contact one way or another. However, I do extremely well with "Let's hang out the second Thursday of every month" or "When are you free for lunch within the next two weeks?" or anything else that can go on my calendar. So you should drop me a note if you're good with mostly being the one who starts when-can-we-hang-out conversations and don't mind irregular and sometimes lengthy intervals between dates. I promise I'm not ignoring you and my laissez-faire attitude isn't because I dislike you. (If I dislike you, I will tell you directly and unambiguously.) I'm just ridiculously busy, easily distracted, and lacking in long-term timesense.