I've got a couple tattoos and I'm gonna get more eventually. My hair is blond without an e. I'm not interested in sports, but I'm good at faking it (especially when I'm drunk). I can't swim at all. You might think that really limits my life experiences, but I'm not a fish. So it really doesn't affect me.
This is more difficult than it should be.
I'm a really nice guy with a really horrible and distasteful sense of humor. I say fuck a lot. Too much, probably. My house might be haunted, and it also might not be. I can't really be sure. My biggest fears are bees, wasps, and any other sort of flying poison-filled hell beasts that were created for the sole purpose of putting fear into the hearts of men. I have the strangest dreams, but so does everyone.
I'm not one of those "You can do anything you set your mind to"-types, but I think a little motivation can go a long way. That being said, I'm about average at most things I've done (except Foosball; I'm fucking horrible at Foosball). I haven't really found my true calling yet, but I'm looking for it as hard as I can. I promise.
See? I just did it. Everyone hates Hitler, so I played off of that and now we have a common ground with each other. That's the first step to being best friends. I'm glad we could share this moment together.
Unless you like Hitler. In which case, what the fuck?
-Qdoba (seriously, whoever invented Qdoba should have enough karmic blowjobs in the bank to last an eternity)
-My memory foam mattress [Memory Foam. It remembers me. :')]
-Water (which helps me not die from all of the Red Bull and alcohol)
Also, I'm perpetually having an existential crisis. So there's that.
And bring a fat polar bear. It might help break the ice.