[Update: I just re-read my profile and I've really come to appreciate how drunk I was when I added all this info. I hope someone thinks I'm at least half as funny as drunk-me thinks I am.]

I've got a couple tattoos and I'm gonna get more eventually. My hair is blond without an e. I enjoy the color purple, but it doesn't have shit on green. I'm not interested in sports, but I'm getting better at faking it (especially when I'm drunk) with each passing season. I can't swim at all. You might think that really limits my life experiences, but I'm not a fish. So it really doesn't affect me.

This is more difficult than it should be.

I'm a really nice guy with a really horrible and distasteful sense of humor. I say fuck a lot. A LOT. My house might be haunted, and it also might not be. I can't really be sure. My biggest fears are bees, wasps, and any other sort of flying poison-filled hell beasts that were created for the sole purpose of putting fear into the hearts of men. I have the strangest dreams, but who doesn't?

I segued past college after high school and I'm not regretting it yet. However, I did just graduate from Bartending School and that was a pretty fantastic experience.

I'm not one of those "You can do anything you set your mind to"-types, but I think a little motivation can go a long way. That being said, I'm about average at most things I've done (except Foosball; I'm fucking horrible at Foosball). I haven't really found my true calling yet, but I'm looking for it as hard as I can. I promise.

I'm really good at getting people to like me. Unless they're assholes. I hate assholes. Not the butt-kind, but the Hitler-kind. Fucking Hitler.

See? I just did it. Everyone hates Hitler, so I played off of that and now we have a common ground with each other. That's the first step to being best friends. I'm glad we could share this moment together.

I'm really positive. I like to keep the mood up as much as I can wherever I go.

Books:
-Ishmael by Daniel Quinn
-Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
-The Strain trilogy by Chuck Hogan and Guillermo Del Toro

Movies:
I love movies. Horror, comedy, action, I can even tolerate the occasional rom-com. Oh my god. I just used the phrase "rom-com." What have I become?

Shows:
Supernatural, The Office, Firefly, Trailer Park Boys (what I've seen of it, anyways). And DBZ gets honorable mention for molding my entire childhood (Thanks, Goku; I owe you one).

Music:
Incubus, Death Cab, Why?, Listener, Eminem, Mayday Parade, Dirt Nasty/Three Loco, Tech N9ne, Say Anything, Yelawolf, Sublime, MSI, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, Alien Ant Farm, Lil Wayne, Marvin Gaye, Slipknot, Protest The Hero... Those are in no particular order and aren't expected to make any sense.

-My friends
-Netflix
-Qdoba (seriously, whoever invented Qdoba should have enough karmic blowjobs in the bank to last an eternity)
-A Brita Filter
-My memory foam mattress ("I sleep on my back cause it's good for the spine and coffin rehearsal.")
-My rusty old truck

The future and everything. Where we're all going with our lives. If you're not pursuing your passions then you're doing something wrong, and I'm just trying to figure out which direction to go in.

Drinking my face off with my room mate and our friends while smoking hookah and listening to shitty music way too loud.

I hate wet socks. Just so fucking much.

If you want to. Duh.