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23 Lexington, KY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–24
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 8:04pm
5′ 7″ (1.71m)
Body type
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from high school
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[Update: I just re-read my profile and I've really come to appreciate how drunk I was when I added all this info. I hope someone thinks I'm at least half as funny as drunk-me thinks I am.]

I've got a couple tattoos and I'm gonna get more eventually. My hair is blond without an e. I enjoy the color purple, but it doesn't have shit on green. I'm not interested in sports, but I'm good at faking it (especially when I'm drunk). I can't swim at all. You might think that really limits my life experiences, but I'm not a fish. So it really doesn't affect me.

This is more difficult than it should be.

I'm a really nice guy with a really horrible and distasteful sense of humor. I say fuck a lot. A LOT. My house might be haunted, and it also might not be. I can't really be sure. My biggest fears are bees, wasps, and any other sort of flying poison-filled hell beasts that were created for the sole purpose of putting fear into the hearts of men. I have the strangest dreams, but who doesn't?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I segued past college after high school and I'm not regretting it yet. However, I did just graduate from Bartending School and that was a pretty fantastic experience.

I'm not one of those "You can do anything you set your mind to"-types, but I think a little motivation can go a long way. That being said, I'm about average at most things I've done (except Foosball; I'm fucking horrible at Foosball). I haven't really found my true calling yet, but I'm looking for it as hard as I can. I promise.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at getting people to like me. Unless they're assholes. I hate assholes. Not the butt-kind, but the Hitler-kind. Fucking Hitler.

See? I just did it. Everyone hates Hitler, so I played off of that and now we have a common ground with each other. That's the first step to being best friends. I'm glad we could share this moment together.

Unless you like Hitler. In which case, what the fuck?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really positive. I like to keep the mood up as much as I can wherever I go. Frequently this involves bourbon.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-My friends
-Qdoba (seriously, whoever invented Qdoba should have enough karmic blowjobs in the bank to last an eternity)
-Red Bull
-My memory foam mattress [Memory Foam. It remembers me. :')]
-My rusty old truck (not as rape-y as it sounds)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The future and everything. Where we're all going with our lives. If you're not pursuing your passions then you're doing something wrong, and I'm just trying to figure out which direction to go in.

Also, I'm perpetually having an existential crisis. So there's that.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I hate wet socks. Just so fucking much.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Look, I realize that the girl I'm looking for is most likely drunk watching Netflix somewhere and I will never meet her. But you can't blame me for trying. Message me!

And bring a fat polar bear. It might help break the ice.