Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[Update: I just re-read my profile and I've really come to
appreciate how drunk I was when I added all this info. I hope
someone thinks I'm at least half as funny as drunk-me thinks I
I've got a couple tattoos and I'm gonna get more eventually. My
hair is blond without an e. I enjoy the color purple, but it
doesn't have shit on green. I'm not interested in sports, but I'm
good at faking it (especially when I'm drunk). I can't swim at all.
You might think that really limits my life experiences, but I'm not
a fish. So it really doesn't affect me.
This is more difficult than it should be.
I'm a really nice guy with a really horrible and distasteful sense
of humor. I say fuck a lot. A LOT. My house might be haunted, and
it also might not be. I can't really be sure. My biggest fears are
bees, wasps, and any other sort of flying poison-filled hell beasts
that were created for the sole purpose of putting fear into the
hearts of men. I have the strangest dreams, but who doesn't?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I segued past college after high school and I'm not regretting it
yet. However, I did just graduate from Bartending School and that
was a pretty fantastic experience.
I'm not one of those "You can do anything you set your mind
to"-types, but I think a little motivation can go a long way. That
being said, I'm about average at most things I've done (except
Foosball; I'm fucking horrible at Foosball). I haven't really found
my true calling yet, but I'm looking for it as hard as I can. I
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at getting people to like me. Unless they're
assholes. I hate assholes. Not the butt-kind, but the Hitler-kind.
See? I just did it. Everyone hates Hitler, so I played off of that
and now we have a common ground with each other. That's the first
step to being best friends. I'm glad we could share this moment
Unless you like Hitler. In which case, what the fuck?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really positive. I like to keep the mood up as much as I can
wherever I go. Frequently this involves bourbon.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-Qdoba (seriously, whoever invented Qdoba should have enough karmic
blowjobs in the bank to last an eternity)
-My memory foam mattress [Memory Foam. It remembers me. :')]
-My rusty old truck (not as rape-y as it sounds)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The future and everything. Where we're all going with our lives. If
you're not pursuing your passions then you're doing something
wrong, and I'm just trying to figure out which direction to go
Also, I'm perpetually having an existential crisis. So there's
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I hate wet socks. Just so fucking much.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Look, I realize that the girl I'm looking for is most likely drunk
watching Netflix somewhere and I will never meet her. But you can't
blame me for trying. Message me!
And bring a fat polar bear. It might help break the ice.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.