Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


32 Toronto, Ontario, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:41am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Very often
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Italian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I showed my mother this profile and she said it was awful. She was mostly referring to my pictures. I'm obviously doing something right.

I'm going to give you a recipe for a really awesome cocktail. People don't even read profiles anymore, so I might as well fill this space up with useful tripe. I'll keep things fresh and update it with something new when I can.


Happy Holidays, suckers.

This month I am featuring my smooth tasting and deadly EGG NOG!

A Shaker
1 whole egg
Whole Cream
Spiced Rum
Simple syrup

This is super easy. You can't fuck this up, but you will because you suck.
Crack the whole egg in your shaker. Add in 2oz of milk, 3oz of cream and, depending on how sweet you like it 1/2-1oz of simple. Remember, there is rum in here, so you don't need as much sugar as you may think.
1oz of Brandy, 1oz of spiced rum. I like to use Kraken rum. It's dark and spicy; adds a lot of depth and complexity to your nogg.
DRY SHAKE IT first. That means do NOT add ice in your shaker yet you bastard. Shake it nice. When you pop open your shaker, the nogg should look frothy and delicious. If it DOESNT SMELL GOOD, then the milk or cream is bad, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Ok, now throw your ice in. Shake it again. Keep shaking. Don't stop, I SWEAR, don't stop.

Alright. Get your favourite glass and double strain that sucker into it. You're almost done.
Take your nutmeg and grate some of that seed on your drink.

See what you just did? You just blew your own mind. Make them for your friends and show them how better you are at life than they are.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
coming up with insensitive names for clothing stores, restaurants and strip clubs.

counting dirty money

ignoring my phone (fuck you, phone)

fucking up
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard. I get food in it quite often.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I think Where's Waldo has been my most challenging read so far.
My favourite movie is unquestionably Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I mean, it only destroyed my childhood forever. Food? Well, I'm a level 4 vegan, and don't eat anything that can cast it's own shadow. So... I'm kind of better than you already.
Music. Anything that requires a sequencer, several synthesizers and drum machines gets this puppy purring.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Orgasms. Or any sexual release. Like an orgasm.
2. The internet. It's on computers now!
4. Cash Money
5. My 1200's. My 1's and 2's. My wheels of steel. Don't know what those are? Google has your answers.
6. T & A. Hey, find me a man who doesn't amarite?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the first time I had sex. It was like a month ago. I don't know why he was being such a drama queen about it. I paid him what I thought the experience was worth. Apparently, you don't pay for consensual sex. I didn't apologize either, his vagina looked more like a penis. I checked on the internet and they call them 'outies'
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I find the saddest bar in my neighbourhood and ask the bartender to start feeding me whiskey. This goes on for about an hour when I begin to notice how drunk I'm getting. Time to order some food. But wait, I don't like eating food in public places. It causes too much anxiety. After gathering the courage to ask for my bill (I'm socially inept), I leave a 22% tip, most likely fall trying to get off my stool and begin my long journey stumbling home. There is a nice row of bushes near my place that I love to fall into once in a while. I've put a really nice groove into that bush. It's a source of pride for me.
When I get home, I order a pizza. While I wait, I pour myself G&T's and watch cartoons to keep myself entertained. The pizza arrives, and I place it on my counter. To celebrate, more whiskey is poured. By this time, I'm light speed drunk and not even hungry anymore. The pizza just sits there, on my counter, lonely, as I pass out on my couch listening to the musical stylings of Daryl Hall & John Oates.
The only hard part of this Friday night is realizing it's only Tuesday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm from the future. Just putting that out there. I can also twerk. My ass to back ratio is legendary.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
most people don't reply to my messages. I get it. But you're wrong and I hate you.