I suppose I'm brooding a lot on my journal. It's become kind of a release for me I suppose. I'm not sure if this site is working out for me, maybe I'm not good at this sort of thing. Anyways, I'll keep trying. It's close to the end of the semester and I'm going to the Gulf Coast in a few weeks, I should be happy.

Got papers on me, feeling lonely, and my best friend needs emotional support...wow I really want the next two weeks over with. I want things to be ok again. Don't mean to sound whiney, but I'm just not feeling good tonight...

Term papers are coming along...just wish the semester was over and done with already...I have the burning desire to create, to write something emotional, but I can't really afford to until my college papers are done.

People are talking about the Swine Flu like it's the apocalypse. Just like they did with Avian Flu. Just like they did with SARS. I believe it will most likely fizzle out, but from a biological perspective, it could mutate into a really bad virus. Still, I think that is really improbable.

Man! Scary movie! I'm not gonna sleep tonight! Damn that was scary...>.< I don't mean to seem like a wuss but with crap that goes on in the world, a movie like this is just scarier!

I have fallen far,
from the lofty heights.
The celestial realm no longer wants me,
so I must fall far.

I have known heaven,
in all it's wonderous splendor.
Beauty and delight,
passion most wonderful.

Tenderness and delight,
warmth and gentleness.
They were the garden,
in which the serpent hid.

Now alone,
returned coldly to the real world.
There is no more warmth,
no more tenderness.

Having drank ambrosia,
and fed on golden fruit.
Now food turns to bitter ash,
and drink spoils in my mouth.

Colors are no longer bright,
nor are they vivid.
Sound is dull and distant,
few things stir my thoughts.

Reality moves so fast,
while I drift at a snail's pace.
Nothing is funny or tragic,
or frightening or romantic.

The world is a dismal shadow,
a pale ghost of what it once was.
I cannot return to the place I once knew,
it is forever gone along with paradise.

Had I eyes,
I would cry.
Had I lips,
I would shout.

Had I fingers,
I would feel.
Had I a beating heart,
I would show how broken it is.

But I cannot return,
I am forbidden.
It is a sad and distant memory,
a fragment of a child's dream I cannot be sure was ever real.

End of the week! At least for college and work. Tomorrow is Fiesta Holiday, yay!!

I have to present one of my term papers at a historical conference. Gahhh...I'm driving to another city for the first time myself. And I hate public speaking, like most people, but I am deathly afraid of it, makes my heart race, my voice stutter, my body shake...kinda the same affect a girl would have on me ^^ Hehe, anyways, I just wanna get through this week and then the semester...and then I have summer classes, unng.

It's getting closer and closer to the end of the college semester, and I'm stressing out. History majors have it tough, gotta cite our sources and make sure everything's alright. I'm behind on my papers, I only have two of them, but they're both tough ones. I really hope I get them done on time and in good condition.

Hello everyone. It's been about four days since I really got this profile go on and I haven't gotten any messages. I suppose I shouldn't be dismayed, it is a relatively short period of time, but still, I hope someone replies or sends me something soon.