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22 Dubuque, IA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–24
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 11:05am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Working on university
Entertainment / Media
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Has dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, I'm Ryan.

I'm here for the same reason you are: because we're both innately dependent human beings afraid of dying alone.

Or yeah, I mean, I'm just here because I'm new in town, or because I work a lot so it's hard to meet people, or some other reason that won't make me seem like just another loser with a dating profile.

I think I'm pretty fucking cool-- I'm a journalist, I'm good at darts, I wear a watch sometimes... Shit, I'd be friends with me!

I'm just awful at meeting people. I'm good at a lot of things, but saying words at people is not one of them. When I'm in a crowded bar full of people, I'm completely out of my element. Mostly because I'm an introvert, but also because I hate bar people. All the guys, in their goddamn cologne-stained going-out-to-get-laid shirts, hitting on those girls who screech like a fucking siren from Greek mythology every time the DJ plays Darius Rucker's version of Wagon Wheel.

God damn, I hate those fucking people.

So rather than go there, I'm here.

I'm not looking for a hookup, or some kind of grey-area, will-they-or-won't-they friends with benefits type situation. I'm old fashioned. If we're gonna date, let's do it for real. Let me take you out to a meal I can't afford and see some shitty movie and then get some fucking ice cream after. This hookup culture frustrates the hell out of me. I'm just not wired that way. I can only concentrate on one girl at a time.

So yeah, I'm a little rough around the edges, but I'm a nice guy, sometimes to a fault.

I'm looking for someone I can just sit on the couch and talk with for hours. A friend I can make fun of, who will throw it right back at me. Some one who understands that respect is a two-way street, who will make an effort. Someone who's affectionate and likes to care for people. Honestly, just be like two of those things and you're already better than half of the girls I've been with.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just graduated with a degree in English Creative Writing. Now I work full time at the Telegraph Herald and part time doing freelance writing for Around Dubuque.

I work a lot.

I just launched a second blog (which is the most insufferable sentence I've ever written). It makes fun of religion. Because I'm an asshole.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Holding actual conversations. Being tragically awkward. Writing. Playing bags. I also think I might be a dog whisperer. It's weird, man. Animals just flock to me. I'm like Steve Carrell in that one movie that sucked.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
He's so quiet! Why doesn't he talk?

Because most of my thoughts are mean and I'm a decent person, that's why.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Stand-up Comedians:
George Carlin
Louis C.K.
Bill Burr
Bo Burnham
Dimitri Martin
Tom Segura
Bill Hicks
Mike Birbiglia
Bill Maher

As far as food, I like Italian, Mexican and Asian... though I'm not too fond of Jews.

I'm kidding, you can be Jewish.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Starbucks, ugg boots, buzzfeed quizzes, Instagram, Taylor Swift, killing myself.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Am I being weird right now?

I'm totally being weird right now.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working. Hating people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I had a private thing to admit, but it graduated to corporal.

Ahh army puns...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're smart, sarcastic, you don't take shit from people, you're independent, you like sitting on the couch and bullshitting about nothing for hours. Or if you have resting bitch face (because I'm into that.)