Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Everything that is, has been, and will be.
The potential of mankind is endless and awe-inspiring, and each of
us plays a supporting role in a beautifully written masterpiece
that is capable of proceeding in one of two ways: comedy, or
What will you choose to do with your life?
I live mine to the fullest as often as I can.
I whistle while I work, and sometimes sing.
Recipes? I don't need them. The kitchen is my laboratory, and my
tongue is my personal test subject. Most of the time, things turn
out quite well. Every so often, however, my tongue becomes angry
with me, and holds a grudge for days.
My body is merely the vessel for my mind, which manifests my
imagination into my reality.
And so, here I am...
Success! In spectacle, a curiously sociological symbiont, cast
surreptitiously as both savior and scapegoat by the sanctions of
Sauce. This Salvador, no mere source of sanity, is a superlative of
the salus populi, now sallow, sundered. However, this stratified
salutation of a bygone salvation stands fortified, and has stood to
subdue these savage and sickly sediment stipulating sons, securing
the sparsely safe and sheltered sands of serenity. The only
solution is sin; a standard held as a sanctum, not in spoils, for
the significance and succulence of such shall one day save the
selfless and the strong. Surely, this sampler of satire sways most
stratospherically, so let me simply add that it’s my very good
honor to meet you and you may call me S.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Just started working at Alamo Drafthouse! Super excited about
Besides that, I am a Criminal Justice major, working my way through
A potential career path has been laid out in front of me; I merely
have to place one foot in front of the other, and go for it.
That being said, I am in the process of applying for the Cedar Park
Police Department, with testing taking place on April 28th. I have
just two and a half weeks to prepare; then again, all I really do
all day long is work out and study. Night hours are for fun!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Like Liam Neeson, I'm a man with a particular set of skills.
Soccer. I've played since I was 4. When you participate in an
activity for 21 years, you should hope to be good at it.
Many things, but terrible at others.
Example: Writing and cooking. Two very lively hobbies of mine.
However, I'm horrible at baking! Pies tend to explode, and I've
never attempted to bake a cake.
Instant cookies are fine.
I'm also frighteningly good at picking out inconsistencies in
stories or statements. Liars don't like me very much. Neither do
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Usually, it's a tie between my goofy demeanor, and my inner-nerddom
that catapults itself to my not-so-nerdy looking surface. This
becomes evident within moments of holding a conversation with me.
I'm better at fixing computers than I am at fixing cars, and I can
quote Science Fiction films like no other. Alamo Drafthouse
This, because Gargamel.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My Top 5 of each list only reflects my current favorites. I could
type up a list that no one will ever read, for fear of hitting old
age before making it half way. But, I'll spare you.
1) Thus Spake Zarathustra
2) Hypnerotomachia Poliphili
3) For Whom the Bell Tolls
4) A Spot of Bother
5) Apathy and Other Small Victories,
Anything by Attanasio, Stephen King, and definitely not Glenn
I'm not impressed by people attempting to illustrate their
intelligence by spouting off literary selections you would find on
any high school AP English reading list. The world is bigger than
2) Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
3) A Clockwork Orange
4) Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Movies that make me think. Mindfucks. Cult Classics, and movies
that have been banned from their respective countries due to how
controversial or disgusting they have been, and still are,
perceived to be (ask me about them, and I'll name a few). Comedies,
of course! Jim Carrey and Robin Williams, Al Pacino, Nicholas Cage,
and Sean Connery are just a few of my favorite actors.
Music: Generally, anything. I tend to lean towards Classic and
Alternative Rock, and I'm very selective about the Country I'll
listen to, but other than that, put on some beats.
Artists I've been into recently:
1) Vitamin String Quartet (You simply MUST check them out!)
2) Old Crow Medicine Show
3) Gigi D'Agostino
4) Kid Beyond
5) Edward Maya and Mia Martina/Vika Jigulina
*** Understand that this is Austin, and be realistic. No one knows
every single band that has originated from Austin, some small town
in Oklahoma, or any of a thousand other places. Don't blow your top
when someone hasn't heard of your favorite band with a following of
Food: Same as music. I find that Classic Rock goes quite nicely
with a lovely blush wine...
If the McRib is on your menu, we probably shouldn't talk.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Cooking utensils
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Everything, and nothing at all.
Universal truths, and secular lies.
Incongruities of society, and how to either amplify them, or
Why at least 50% of girls on here have a handle referencing coffee,
dinosaurs, or tacos.
How the world needs to adopt a universal "sarcasm" font so internet
users have a cheat to comprehending it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
If I work the next morning, I'm definitely sleeping.
If I'm off on Saturday, the sky is the limit. There is no "typical"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I just downed an entire two pound container of cottage cheese over
a 12 hour period, sleeping time included.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You enjoy thinking, talking, being goofy, and live relatively close
to me. Be fun and exciting in your own way. Everyone has something
to offer everyone else, so be who you are, don't put on a
Sound like you?
We'll get along famously.
I really believe people become incredibly confused when answering
"match questions". My example:
"Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same
My answer: "No, and I would never."
I see my answer colored red, and I wonder: "Does it really matter
so much to this girl that I would never have homosexual relations
with another man?"
Who are you looking for?
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