Hi, my name is Alex Malsomalso.
I love writing self-summaries.
And I hate being unique.
I was born in russia eleven years ago.
My left hand is scary.
It killed me three times already.
Once it slapped me with a toaster. Too bad, I was sitting in the bathtub at the time.
Once I was reborn, it stroked me to death, while I was asleep.
And after the next rebirth, it pushed me down an open elevator.
Since then I always sleep with an open eye.
Fortunately I'm half man, half cat.
One and a half lives are still left.
I must care very well for them.

I must master the challenge of finding the holy grail. It must be somewhere in the world of ideas Plato wrote so passionately about. The portal to it is in my room, but it's dark and scary in there. :(

Editors

• luckzoer

I'm really good in glorifying myself.

And in everything else as well.

I've never been bad in something.

Except lying...

Gosh, a paradoxon. I hope the world won't collide.

Editors

• luckzoer

...is my camouflaged monkey tail. As I was a little girl, I messed up with a fairy. The tail reminds me of my journey to Japan. It was a sort of punishment by the fairy.

I ate a lot of cooked, raw fish back there. It tasted delicious.

Editors

• luckzoer

(a) My all-time favourite autor is Dostoyewsky, I simply love post-modern satirical novels about our society like Spieltrieb by Juli Zeh.

(b) Fight Club, Natural Born Killers, American Beauty, A Clockwork Orange und Monty Python's Flying Circus

(c) Alexisonfire, As I Lay Dying, The Bled, Botch, The Chariot, Converge, Cult Of Luna, Deftones, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Envy, Fear Before The March Of FLames, Heaven Shall Burn, Hell Is For Heroes, Isis, Job For A Cowboy, Mastodon, Meshuggah, Million Dead, Neurosis, Norma Jean, Tephra, The Number twelve Looks Like You, The Ocean, Rage Against The Machine, The Red Chord, Tool

(d) I love to coock. I eat everything. And I mean everything. (except liver)

The four midgets I keep as slaves, my two imaginary dogs and my lava-lamp.

Editors

• luckzoer

I beat god in a chess game once. He was all outraged and made the lemons sour.
I said sorry and stopped believing in him. Immediately he disappeared.
Since then I know, god is only a construct of my mind, all people are adapting.
I'm thinking of them building churches and having wars all because I have such a wandering mind.

Each friday night I'm coming home from my barracks and I'm trying to find out the password for our summon island in the middle of the alster river, where I live.
The password is always a combination of five letters, two numbers and twelve cookies.
Once I've found the combination out, it's time to go to bed and the friday is over.

I are Longcat, the inkarnation of Hitler's dog Blondi

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Once at sleep I created THE INTERNET

You can imagine an unicorn, that looks like a cloud, which looks like an unicorn.