I'm fun, young, crazy and free, and whatever other clichéd euphemisms to describe a highly irresponsible life.

I was a philosophy PhD student, but I realized I was wasting my time because I REALLY didn't want to be a philosopher, as much as I loved being a paid intellectual snob. So I got my MA and now I work at a vegan cafe and a cruelty-free shoe store.

I used to play Words with Friends a lot. Now I'm all about Lumosity.

coming home after the sun comes up, pissing conservatives and traditionalists off, dancing (according to people who cannot dance), winning logical arguments, telling people off for shit I find inappropriate, passing for a teenager, being ethnically ambiguous, digging through trash and finding treasures, using outdated or just plain bizarre turns of phrases and colloquialisms, meeting new people and fostering connections between people who I think should be friends/business partners/lovers/etc.

Also I have developed cat-like reflexes to avoid people touching my hair. Seriously if you reach for it without asking me, I will be mad. Don't. Just don't. I understand that my hair is 'like soooo cool' but I'm not a freakin' petting zoo. And no I don't care if you would let me touch your hair. I don't wanna touch your greasy shit. Unless I do, in which case I would ask first. If I have to explain the politics behind touching a woman of color's hair...well let's just say it'll mostly be my fists doing the 'splaining.

my hair, my tattoos, my old lady glasses, my attitude (in that order)

Btw my granny glasses are real deal. I am blind as a fucking bat. If you wear fake glasses I have to warn you that I hate you. That shit's not cool. It's like being in a fake wheelchair or fake crutches. Ok not really, but you are not allowed to pretend in regards to that shit. Blindness ain't a fashion statement.

Critical race theory (i.e. stuff by belle hooks, Angela Davis, Cornell West, Audre Lorde); radical theorists such as Marx, Proudhon, Emma Goldman, Foucault; critical social theorists Benjamin, Horkheimer and Adorno; feminism Patricia Hill Collins, Judith Butler, Gloria Anzaldúa etc, you get the picture. But besides that I like David Sedaris, analytic philosophy, Noam Chomsky's linguistic works (political stuff's good too), Oliver Sachs, David Eagleman, Alva Nöe, Oscar Wilde, Murakami, Miranda July, cognitive science, psychology, sociology, linguistics, systems theory, pedagogy amongst many, many others. Pretty much I like stuff that messes with your mind/makes you think about yourself and the state of the world. And feminist sci-fi Ursula LeGuin, Octavia Butler, Margaret Atwood, etc.

I love all sorts of music but especially music from a time when black people wore Gheri curls and dressed with flair: Mtume, Zapp and Roger, Starpoint, Kool and the Gang, The Time, Mary Jane Girls, Earth, Wind & Fire, Rick James, etc. I have a weakness for dancy hipster bullshit- MIA,Chromeo, Empire of the Sun, Cut Copy, Diplo, Santogold, Crystal Castles Animal Collective, Gang Gang Dance. I love folk, alt/post Country and Americana- Deer tick, Band of Horses, Fleet Foxes and old country Patsy Cline, Conway Twitty, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbisonetc. Classic Rock: Led Zepplin, Velvet Underground, The Doors, The Animals, The Turtles. Miles Davis' Bitches Brew changed my life. Sam Cooke is by far my favorite artist. I'll take Motown over the shit they play on the radio any day of the week. But honestly, I will dance my ASS off to the shit they play on the radio, and learn all the words without even realizing it. Also, goth kid music: The Smiths, The Cure, New Order, Joy Divison, music for radicals: Against Me, Fela Kuti, Manu Chao, as well as Disco, Bossa Nova and Dubstep. Also my New Jersey upbringing and obsession with Europe has coalesced into embarrassing enjoyment of fist-pumping electro. I try and deny it...but when that music starts playing I can't help myself! So yes, I do on occasion enjoy house, Tiesto, Calvin Harris and Deadmau5. The only reason why I owned up to this is because I assume no one's reading this far. If you are- don't tell anyone about this ok?

I also have a semi-embarrassing devotion to both Bollywood and KPOP. I am semi-obsessed with Aishwarya Rai, Sharuhk Khan Super Junior 2NE1, T-ara, etc. Seriously though- stuff like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_lSP8Vc3o
and this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJzT1KMjQ0k
gives me a huge lady boner.

I'm totally a Movie elitist so I typically list directors, not titles, except for one: TOTAL (FUCKING) RECALL. Yea but besides that: Bergman, Almodovar, Godard, Welles, Fellini, Gondry, Del Toro, Noé. Also the very non-elitist films: Time Bandits, The Warriors, Wet Hot American Summer, Wild at Heart, Blazing Saddles, Orlando, The Edukators, The Apple, The Wiz. Anything with Gael Garcia Bernal (SWOOON) esp The Motorcycle Diaries, Mala Educación. Classics: Singing in the Rain (and just about anything with Gene Kelly in it), Some Like it Hot, The Seventh Seal, Sunset Boulevard. Also, sexy movies: Showgirls (w/ commentary), Shortbus, Y Tu Mama Tambien, The Dreamers. And REALLY scary horror movies- like the kind that make you crap yourself. Especially Asian ones, i.e.- Takashi Miike and Park Chan-wook.

I really value my brain and would not like to see it turn to mush, so I mostly stay away from TV and video games. Although, I do love Mad Men, Community, pretty much anything on Animal Planet, National Geographic Channel or Discovery Science, disturbing medical shows on TLC, Ru Paul's Drag Race, Jersey Shore...yes I actually do sorta enjoy this show. Maybe it has something to do with being born and raised in Jersey. Mostly I think it's because I see it as an interesting anthropological experiment/demonstration of gender performativity. I also really love British TV: Skins UK, Misfits, The Inbetweeners. Peep Show, The Mighty Boosh, etc. Also, Louis- if you don't find Louis CK hilarious I dunno.... I just don't know. My latest new mind-numbing obsessions are (like everyone else in the world) Downton Abbey and Game of Thrones. Especially Game of Thrones. I love reading fantasy and just got started on the trilogy. And thanks to the show I've integrated sooo many interesting quotes into my life.
"Hey dude can I borrow 10 bucks?" "Will you pay me back?" (Turns head, smirks) "A Lanester ALWAYS pays her debts."
(Loses keys) "WHERE ARE MAH DRAGONSSSSS?!?!"
Someone eats the last piece of cake "I hope you find someone you truly love...before I take her from you."
"What do you mean you won't help me move anymore?" "Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only death."
"Hey what's up tonight?" "I dunno." "You're the Master of Whisperers. You're supposed to know everything." So on so forth. You get the picture. Yes I am a dork. Ain't no shame in my game (OF THROOOONESSSS).

As for food you can sum it up as such: vegetarian food. Been a strict vegetarian for almost 15 years and at this point I feel like there's no going back. As previously stated, I work in a vegan cafe in the Flatiron area so I pretty much eat entirely vegan. I am also mildly lactose intolerant which means I can't do much in the way of dairy, but when drunk it is nearly impossible for me to turn down a slice of pizza. I don't even like pizza that much. It's this weird psychological/conditioning thing and I'm really hoping to overcome it someday.
UPDATE: I'm a strict vegan now, so FUCK YO PIZZA... Unless it's vegan of course.

Also, I think dealing with so many hypochondriacs/trend-based eaters has had an effect on me, cause now I have a fake/mental gluten 'allergy' too. As in not really, but I tend to convince myself it's the gluten, and not the say, endless binge-drinking that is making me feel like shit. In any case, I luuuurrvvvve tofu. And spicy shit. I am a fantastic cook. I'll make some shit you've never heard of before. I especially love Indian and Caribbean food, since it's closest to what I ate growing up. My favorite food is Ital food. If you don't know what that is I suggest you get yourself down to Crown Heights ASAP and walk around until you find an Ital restaurant. It should take you all of 5 seconds.
I like 'exotic' foods- ethiopian, thai, vietnamese, also japanese, pretty much anything except for your all American burger joints and what not. I put exotic in quotes because honestly the 'traditional' American meal is sometimes more foreign to me than what is usually thought of as 'exotic' food. I also love soul food. That's my jam. I hate picky eaters (of course I'm not counting those with dietary/health concerns) but love people who are food conscious!
PHEW! I like a lot of things!
As for things that I hate? Not much, but there is one thing: fucking CUPCAKES. It's not even so much the taste (although I do despise the taste) but the stupid fake ass trendy aura surrounding them. They're just not that good. Pies, tarts, macaroons, shit even Carvel cakes etc are infinitely better. I'm sorry, but if you're a grown ass woman talking about your love of cupcakes I will be tempted to smack the shit outta you. You are not Zooey Dechannel and that infantilizing shit is just not cute. Please just shut up about it and go fucking sew a bird on something or some shit. (DEATH TO TWEE!)

-internet (I was raised on the internet- my dad's been a programmer for more than 30 years)
-my glasses or contacts (seriously I'm blind as a bat)
-intellectual stimulation (I likey da smarties)
-friends (always out to make new ones!)
-good food (really this could be all six things)
-mind altering substances (you didn't see this)

Radical politics. I have an intense interest in social justice. I think there are so many things people take too seriously and even more things people take too lightly. I also spend a lot of time thinking about racism, sexism, anti-capitalism, globalization, class warfare, imperialism, war, America's fucked up education system, politics, queer issues, philosophy, traveling, what I'm going to do with my life, how I'm gonna get the fuck out of the States forever.

doing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9KYDaRaOjZI#!

Also: exploring the city and meeting strange and interesting people (the best kind). Dancing myself into the closest thing to a religious frenzy I'll ever experience.

I own not one, but TWO snuggies (fuck off this is the secret weapon for any academic who gets cold easily and needs arms free to type)

I made a Bollywood fanvid featuring a Drake song. Go ahead, ask me about it.

I don't own a phone (YES for real). I actually hate talking on the phone with an unusual passion so it works out well for me.

- you have a beard and a cat and you'll let me stroke them both at the same time
- you wanna talk about radical politics but only until we're drunk enough to start making out.
- you wanna ride bikes
- you wanna watch Total Recall, or even Commando or Freejack. Seriously I cannot turn down a violent 80's movie starring Aaaanald or Emilio.
- you have an animal companion that wants (or at least is willing to put up with) a new human friend. I must warn you though...I've been compared to Elmira from Tiny Toons in terms of my love of animals.
- you want to teach me something (like a language or a dance or how to drive)
- you think we'd make good drinking (or smoking) buddies/partners in crime/compatriots in a struggle against oppressive forces.
- you wanna play Words with Friends or Hanging with Friends.

Also, it's ok if you don't drink, don't smoke (not talking about cigs) and eat meat, but honestly if all three apply that's kinda a turn-off. Not that it'll automatically rule you out or anything but you better have a bomb ass personality to make up for these 'faults'.

And if you talk about how much you love god in your profile, it's not gonna work out. I'm as hardcore atheist as they come and I don't really like to associate with practicing Xtians.

Plus, I might have studied philosophy but I'm an analytic philosopher. If you don't know what that means you probably shouldn't suggest talking about philosophy to me. To sum it up- no I don't want to talk about existentialism and I could give a shit about Nietzsche. I'd rather sit in silence and do logic problems.