Get ready, cuz this ain't funny, my name is Mike B and I'm about to get money!

Sorry. Let me explain.

Faced with awkward situations such as: A)Internet dating sites or B) you know sometimes when it's really loud with everyone talking, so you say something embarrassing to someone, but at the exact moment you say it, everyone has stopped talking suddenly, so everyone in the room hears your embarrassing statement, I tend to either A)recite beastie boys lyrics OR B)hit the nearest person/pet with a playful flying tackle.

In this case, I was thinking B, but my cat gave me the evil eye, and that thing where all her claws unsheath menacingly for a second. Then she said, "Mike, if you take one step towards me, I'ma come at you like a spider monkey!" I elected to go with option A, and cut back my cat's TV time.

So here we are... me, pondering how best to conjure forth my fundamental essence, and finagle, finesse, or force it into some form that you the reader will either fancy, find funny, or forget.

I've been known to alliterate for fun.

I've been called strange. But I get called lots of things, so you have to take that with a grain of salt. I've also been called odd, weird, and quirky, so it balances out, amirite?

I like the feeling of freefall. It is a very intense and pointed sensation, in an often emotionally flat existence.

I was kicked out of a day-care when I was 4, for biting another child. I'm sure the child deserved it. Or I was hungry.

I would kind of like to join a monastery for a year, to find some inner peace and do some self discovery. It would definitely have to be a kung-fu monastery though... I'm sure as hell not going to sit on my ass all day long for a year, what am I, a monk??

Anyway... you might be wondering what such a miketastic guy is doing on a dating website. And that's a valid question. Truth is, after graduating from college, it's become downright tricky to meet cool new people. Add to that the fact that I work mostly with people 10 years older than myself or more, and the RL dating scene is looking pretty bleak. So I'm here to expand my horizons a bit, and hopefully meet some cool folks.

Editors

• Kotodateru

I just graduated a couple months ago with a degree in psychology, which I love, but which I do not want to practice as a career. I'm currently working at an internet startup in SF, doing nothing very complicated, for a bit more money than I'm probably worth. Truthfully, I'm ok with that. Future jobs that I am determined to try: bartender, river rafting guide, poolboy.

Not a lot, honestly. I'm pretty good at lots of stuff though. I just never seem to stick with it long enough to be really good. Oh, but I'm really good at BSing academic papers, thankyouverymuchcollege. Now if only I could find a job that payed me to do that...

Things I enjoy and am fairly good at, however, are most sports, a variety of martial arts (eastern and western), and a bevy of video games. And lets not forget jumping off of or out of high, large, or flying objects. wewt.

Oh, almost forgot... I'm really good at standardized tests. I made the SAT's my bitch, yee-haw! Take that, Oakland public school district.

That I look like someone they know. Or like a random celebrity. Apparently I just have one of those familiar faces.

Also, when people first meet me, they get that corny kung-fu movie effect, where it zooms in on my eyes, and then it zooms in on their eyes, and then back in on my eyes. And then we duel. I'm just saying, if you decide you might want to meet me someday, you should think about bringing along a bo-staff or something. Or at least practice your mantis form...

For books, I love anything by Tad Williams, even if all his books are like 800 pages long. Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Carl Hiaasen, and tons of other sci-fi/fantasy/funny/quirky authors. For movies, Return of the King was great. Call me a nerd, but I loved that series, and I'm glad they did the books justice. The last samurai, donnie darko, and Battle Royale were also pretty awesome. And lets not forget fight club, V for Vendetta, and the original star wars. music... a lot of stuff, i'm too lazy to list it. Indie, Punk, Classical, Soundtrack, Jazz, Latin, it's all good. Check out Rodrigo y Gabriella's cover of Stairway to Heaven... it'll blow your mind. And I just discovered Josh Ritter as well... I'm normally not so much into folk type stuff, but this guy rocks my socks. Check our 'To the Dogs or Whoever', 'Temptation of Adam', and 'Monster Ballads' just to name a few. <3 50's music as well!

Editors

• Kotodateru

6. my guitar
5. a computer
4. music
3. surprises
2. good friends
1. adventure

Editors

• Kotodateru

The future, the past, and occasionally the present. Super powers I'd like to have. What would happen if the Earth were invaded by sword wielding aliens. Girls. The meaning of life. Hair brained schemes. Zombies with twatz. o.o

Editors

• Zombie_Twatz

Working, nerding it up at home, or out with friends, probably playing pool. Be warned: I am an aspiring pool shark. At the moment I'm more of a pool carp, i guess... but while you're sitting on your butt, I'm practicing baby, like I'm freaking rocky balboa or something. Just wait...

I posses a small armory of martial arts weapons, including but not limited to shinai (kendo swords), bokken, nunchaku, fighting sticks, knives, fencing swords, bow and arrows, and a bo staff. Most people's reactions to it are along the lines of: 'Holy shit, Mike, are you planning on arming a peasant rebellion? Hey, what's that, that looks kind of cool... can I play with it? Of course I'll be careful! Sweet... wooo, this is fun! *THUNK* AH, SONOFABITCH! GODDAMN NUM-CHUCKS'

you need a bay area rock climbing partner / you're a musician-in-progress, and want to play some music with someone who won't make you look bad / you're an adrenaline junky who needs a fix