*UPDATE: I'm in the process of moving from San Francisco to Seattle as I begin a new job in the non-profit world. Super excited! I'm also dating a great girl right now, but would love to meet people who think we'd be amazing friends*

24 years ago, an enigma gave a paradox a very special hug.

Strange things happen to me; nothing you should be worried about, but just know that if we meet up, you're in for a wild ride. I've driven a go-kart for six laps with the back of the car in flames. I've negotiated myself out of tricky situations with police in India, Russia and, believe it or not, Brussels. And this one time, I stayed in on a Friday night to have a Disney movie marathon (HINT: If Aladdin and the Lion King aren't in your top 5, we probably wouldn't get along).

My best friends are generally funny and laugh, happy and smile, smart, kind, and have some degree of a nerd-streak.

Being happy, and probably a little awkward. Usually an awesome combination of the two.

Also accumulating enough frequent flier miles to buy one of those "around-the-world tickets."

defying gravity, believing I can fly, always paying my debts, drawing the hallelujah, finding money in the banana stand, making banana pancakes, and interjecting odd pop culture references into conversation.

This question bores me.

New, better question - What's on your nightstand? I know - saucy, right?

*A lamp (for me to read by)
*Calvin and Hobbes (because I'm a real adult, but I get to decide what that means)
*Boarding passes (I travel. A lot.)
*Camelbak (apparently I like drinking water, but don't want to work too hard for it)
*My watch (a watch that isn't a cell phone?! How antiquated!)

If I'm going to be the right person at the right place at the right time (curse you, Ted Mosby).

Missed connections.

And stupid, stupid, stupid questions-

Why do they call it a pair of jeans? Is each leg supposed to be its own jean? "Roses are red, violets are blue..." Why aren't violets violet?

... these questions haunt me

[Insert comment about how I could BOTH be out clubbing with friends or at home curled up with a book and/or TV show/movie to demonstrate how complex I am]

Though that is fairly accurate

I'm a pretty happy dude.

I flirt with strangers. So I can play with their dogs.

you're a smiler.

you believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed.

you're a dreamer.

also if you can teach me how to Dougie. Obvi :p
________________________________________________

If none of that works for you, or you're trying to figure out what to say, feel free to respond to one of the following:

1. The Peanut Butter Question
a) Do you like peanut butter? Explain.
b) Crunchy/smooth? Natural or the traditional, salty, preservative-y variety?
c) If you do not like peanut butter, are you one of those people I see buying alternative nut butters like "almond butter" and so forth at Trader Joe's or similar? Do you do so for some nutritional reason or because you actually like the taste?

2. The Me Question
Select one of the following options:
a) This dude is totally nuts. Did you see all those questions about peanut butter? What even IS that?
b) I appreciate that these questions are in jest and that he's just trying to make it easier for me to take the plunge and click "message." What a totally baller idea. He must be a totally baller dude.

*Jazz hands*