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29 Pittsburgh, PA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:46pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Graduated from two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*In a world where the arbitrary defines judgment and anxiety breeds, one man stands alone.

"I was wide open in the back of the end zone. You're the one who decided to throw into triple coverage."


"It's a metaphor."

Uh, okay?

"Just do the god damn promo."

They thought they could silence him. They thought they could make him disappear.

They. Were. Wrong.

"I'm still waiting for the music cue."

*He has the intellect.

"One thing you don't realize is that it's easy to regurgitate clichés when it's not happening to you."

He has the insight.

"If everyone says they're sarcastic guess what? Nobody's sarcastic!"

He has... the one liners.

"We're sorry - The person you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

And this holiday season, he will. Bring the ruckus.

"All thriller, no filler with absolutely no commercial interruptions! Hulk Hogan - We comin' for you, nigga!"

*Now... More. Than. Ever! Get ready... for thrills! Adventure! Romance!

Action maestro John Woo presents...

Sabennak Part Deux.

Rated R.

"This isn't revenge. I'm just returning the favor. "
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
... provocation.
... one-liners.
... impressions.
... screaming daisies from fourteen miles away.
... incurring workout related injuries.
... non sequiturs.
... counting bodies like sheep to rhythm of the war drums.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Big Sleep, Outliers, Blink, The Poop That Took A Pee, Cryptonomicon, Controversy Creates Ca$h, The Deep Blue Good-By, Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure, Shoot The Piano Player, Deal Breaker, Glitz, Chicken Soup For The Butt, This Bastard Bleeds, I, The Fury. All She Was Worth, The Woods, Drop Shot, The Black Echo, The Godwulf Manuscript, A Nightmare In Pink, Knots And Crosses.

Comics: Filthy Rich, Heartburst, The Maximortal, Sgt. Rock: Between Hell And A Hard Place, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Mirage), Lex Luthor: Man Of Steel, Star Wars: Legacy, Hellblazer: Dark Entries

Movies: Demolition Man, Virtuosity, Rising Sun, Evolution, Brick, JFK, Enemy Of The State, The Fugitive, Blood Ocean, Galaxy Quest, Heat (1995), The Untouchables, Unforgiven, Tombstone, Platoon, Get Shorty, Die Hard, 48 Hours, Pulp Fiction, Training Day, The Long Goodbye, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Hard Boiled, La Vie Moderne De Pinto, Avengers

TV: Pardon The Interruption, Around The Horn, Rome Is Burning, The Scary Door, Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, Real Time with Bill Maher, Adult Swim, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Pro Wrestling, The History Channel, Investigation Discovery, The Science Channel, Terriers, Burn Notice, Address Unknown, An Idiot Abroad, Various cartoons (old and new)

Music: Megadeth, Busta Rhymes, Mr. Big, Guns N' Roses, Dio, Queensryche, Sade, Oasis, 16 Horsepower, Soundgarden, Course Of Empire, Bush, The Cult, Living Colour, The Tea Party, Peter Gabriel, The Hives, Wu-Tang Clan, The BeeTs, Van Halen, KISS, Fair To Midland, INXS, Chevelle, Killing Joke, White Zombie, Talk Talk, A Perfect Circle, Genesis, Canibus, Eyedea & Abilities, MC Face

Video Games: Crystalis, Earthworm Jim 1 & 2, Vice Project: DOOM, TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist, Strider, Hagane, Vectorman, Xexyz, Super Smash TV, X-Men (Sega Genesis), Crash Bandicoot, Max Payne 1 & 2, GTA series, Alan Wake, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil 5 (Seven minutes...), Mass Effect 2, Arkham City, Skyrim, Uncharted 3, Spec Ops: The Line, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Deadpool, Arkham Origins
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Media, Technology, Logic, Emotion, Freedom, and those little chickens that Liz from "White Collar" makes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
... how people's heads don't explode from their flagrant hypocrisy.
... how if I had a dollar for every profile I've visited where the person said they don't have a "typical Friday night", I could fucking retire.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
... doing the same thing we do every night, Pinky.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've got the LSD (Lead Singer's Disease), so I may or may not throw a TV out the window or demolish a dressing room if I don't get my god damn San Pellegrino Aranciata! Who fucked with my thermostat? And where the fuck are my indigo napkins?! No, no, no, no, no, they must be indigo!

No, seriously. Don't fuck with my thermostat. I'm not fucking kidding.

Side Note: I read profiles from the bottom up, so I laugh every time I see, "... you've read this far" under "You should message me if".
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you got the touch, you got the power.
... you won't tie my lead and pull my chain to watch my blood begin to boil.
... you know the pieces fit 'cause you watched them fall away.

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