MGW4J1: This page I last modified pst2013.01.28Mon0039. (OkCupid, please add these mod dates!)
MDGHDS: PRESENT OCCUPATIONS: Social- & Software-Architect. Also notable writer and community-groups leader & founder, friend, family member, dating, inventor, and dancer.
MHBMLS: WOMEN-SEEKING-MEN: Meeting in-person pays!, including a small bit of cash. For quality men-seeking-women, even the best dating sites as-is commonly provide 0 quality relationships, starting first with not nearly enough trial meetings in-person. So starting 2013.01.27Sun, if you & I 1-on-1 candidly talk about our potential romance for at least 0.5hr IN-PERSON (in response to 1st discovering each other via OkCupid) and you don't mislead including you don't have a misleading profile, then I'll immediately pay you cash $20, along with $5 more if we, as I always do, also bring our device(s) for accessing OkCupid which we then use to compare, discuss, & improve our OkCupid profiles & answers.
MHBSA7: *And I wish I could pay that bill for every so-mistreated quality man-seeking-woman, but unfortunately I'm not that wealthy yet.
MHBN1Q: *Naturally I wish I and other quality men-seeking-women would never have to offer any money to potential mates in order to have them pay this basic respect to each potential romantic relationship; but especially given that OkCupid & seemingly all dating sites typically deluge women-seeking-men with mate prospects & related messages, saying upfront exactly what seems to me as respectful treatment, plus paying $ for it (to get it treated serious as a money-paying offer), seems the simplest way.
MHBNQK: *2013.01.26Sat11~ I came up with this idea on-my-own after I wrote & published great instructions I think will, on their own, never get followed.
MDG2UB: “He may be odd, but odds are he's right.” --mother's warning (including on OkCupid multiple-choice answers :-).
MDGHEN: SOME LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS:
MGWNCC: *MIT grad, with patent & industry masters internship, top in my computer science class.
MGWNCI: *US Combat Vet and prior 8-year Reserves Soldier (from enlisted (quartermaster Specialist(E4) in the battlefield to Sargent(E5) running a platoon) to medical IT officer(O2) overseeing the hospital's IT; from cleaning toilets & guarding in foxholes to running the IT department of a 256-bed combat hospital).
MGWND9: *Founded & run many organizations & groups, from MIT's Autonomous Robot Design Competition to Orange County's largest & oldest Android Developer & User Community Group, and several others, both tech & social, with hundreds of members each.
MGWXV6: *Publish on the free-web much of what I've figured out in life for others to benefit & build on: published eBooks and hundreds of pages on social and technical issues.
MGWXVW: *And now work for JotHere –Got a thought? Jot it Here!™ whose mission it is to help *everyone* publish & share their writings & notes and get everyone paid for doing so!
“MGW4BX: Aside: What are these codes as “MGW4BX” on this paragraph? They're http://1.JotHere.com/6mp --short IDs to date-stamp, uniquely-reference, and portably-track most any point or item, including very useful to track text one hopes to eventually republish as its own article, something I commonly do, so a key reason I include them here.”
MDGHJJ: LIFE GOALS: I live 1st to innovate and 2nd to have, share, & create fun!
MDGHDJ: SEEKING HERE: *in-person* friends
*including romance *truly* based on real & dedicated friendship: my standard is, if not real friendship then no romance.
MDG2N7: Do we NOT have a very high OkCupid match rating? Then READ THIS, as we likely should.
MDFCYV: "Enable OkCupid to work for you & everyone: 3+ absolute essentials, plus my experience." --READ THIS, women especially.
MGV7TR: Call me idealistic, but I do "love all", even thy enemies. So I shoot for true love in all my interactions. And I realize one doesn't truly love someone/something s/he doesn't truly know. Consequently,
MGV8WU: *I'm not a mystery man here, unlike many guys here who hide from here all that you would find genuinely objectionable about them (only pretending to be objectionable & judgmental on silly stuff so you don't realize how much they're really hiding), so then you fall in love with whatever dream you were hoping they were (so getting them laid) instead instead of who they really are. --Women, this is a standard dating profile PUA (Pick-Up-Artist) trick, so be smarter! Indeed if someone isn't sharing with you at least a few things about them that you find quite objectionable (as he likes to be romantic/sexual with multiple mates simultaneously, that's usually #1 -and normal), then he (or she) is not really sharing. Instead,
MGV8XL: *I'm an open-book for you here (indeed so much that it makes "Gone with the Wind" look short ;-
MGV92A: *So be nice back: if you find something you don't like here (which of course then you should), then don't run; instead stop & think if you might be missing something and especially PLEASE CANDIDLY TELL ME YOUR REACTION. (You can also tell me things you like: I like that, too :-)
MGW0NW: *With each of us having just ~67years to search the now ~7billion humans in this world, who remember are also the far most complex creatures on this planet, in order to find for each of us the serious needles-in-haystack, the <0.0001% of them (<7,000), which we need to bond with, and figure out how & do so, MGW3FQ: I believe it's LONG overdue for each of us to write-up IN DETAIL, and publish largely publicly (as via web profiles), our own personal features, beliefs, & instruction manual, and not some short few intro paragraphs we just uses to market&sell ourselves but, as a manual full of our important sub-details that others gradually but regularly go back and read&review&discuss as s/he gets to know the person,
MGW42T: **such as:
MGW43A: ***what I give for myself here in text plus links to more
MGW43X: ***AND what OkCupid makes common by typically having each person answer 100s of personal questions that typically anyone (who has also answered them) can see
MGW3B2: ***(1) allowing quick and potentially accurate&relevant review&discussion of&ideally-with every person we consider in our search, as:
MGW3BL: ****even after we cut it down to 7,000, we still have just 1 day of life average to fully explore each of those we more significantly bond with
MGW3DD: ***(2) avoiding unpleasant surprises, as:
MGW3KF: ****these far outweigh surprises that are nice
MGW3LO: ****and, as noted, our time on this planet is really short
MGW3EG: ***(3) showing we've figured out who we are indeed to the point where we can unashamedly share it with all (else most all) and in writing, including so we can't easily inappropriately hide&lie, as by:
MGW3S0: ****telling each person mostly only what she s/he wants to hear, true or not, as typical when depending on & using private conversations
MGW3SK: ****hiding what we said or perhaps did since there's not this good record.
MDFDKM: Here is who I am, MY *REAL* PROFILE I use for my family & friends & everyone who knows me in-person.
MDFDKZ: *And I plan to remove most all text below once it's fully & better covered there.
MDGHPJ: CHARACTER: good-hearted & never half-hearted, passionate, intense, honest, not arrogant but actually accurate including because I offer to reward people to prove me wrong, a show-off, pioneer, inventor, entrepreneur, outgoing & a leader NOT by nature but by necessity & full US military leadership training & the school of hard knocks, analytical, *appropriately* pedantic (as given my goal to create a natural language both humans & computers can understand), geeky, playful, romantic, flirtatious, outspoken, praising & critical, very dedicated & very sincere.
**Very passionate & playful while also very serious & responsible (a rare combo) so routinely not-believed, mis-understood, under-estimated, & wrongfully-attacked.
**Seeking credit & respect but not fame, including never doing things for attention but ideally just because it's the right thing to do; a one-of-a-kind who would rather the things he did were done by everyone so he could just be a one-in-the-crowd.
**INTP including partial absent-minded professor plus very Scorpio.
MDGHK1: THE 7 WAYS THAT I'M DIFFERENT IN ROMANCE FROM MOST MEN:
MGWYXX: (1)EXCELLENT: Implied by my beginning point (seeking only romance truly based on friendship), I'm into real honest long-term, respectful relationships.
MGWYY5: (2)NEUTRAL: No matter how sexy I find the woman, I'm not into pure-recreational sex nor casual sex nor booty call nor secret sex nor cheating, and I never buy sex. (--This is *for me personally*; *others* I think should have maximum freedom provided it doesn't harm others, though (in most cases mentioned here (booty call & secret sex & cheating & often casual sex), these kinds of sex generally DO harm others).
MGWYYD: (3)EXCELLENT: As a core value, I believe everywhere one doesn't have honesty, one doesn't really have true love. So
MGWYYO: (3a)I as much as possible I unashamedly reveal my male mind (as telling a woman what about her physically turns me on or off) whereas typical men wouldn't dare say their male mind to a woman, especially a new woman (as, & so, many women aren't really aware & accepting how differently healthy men think in romance & sex; notably see likely the biggest thing a woman needs to learn & accept when it comes to romance & sex)
MGWYZ0: (3b)I insist else strongly-push for openness and honesty and no hypocrisy in all relationships proportionate to how important the relationship is are supposed to be. While the long-term benefit is obvious, it needs to be constantly remembered; for in the short term this makes me a royal pain-in-the-ass!
MGWYZH: (3c)See more at below subsection "(2) STRESSFUL BUT GOOD: I offer & insist-on true deep dedicated friendship with full honesty & realism in romance".
MGWYZS: (4)GOOD: I love empowering women, especially in romance. I come from a family of powerful women and I want more of that. Including it's typical for me to sincerely help a woman in all her romances, yes even if I would very much want her for myself.
MGWZ01: (5)GOOD: I adore sexually pleasing a woman. Provided we're having steady sex, it's all about her pleasure, not mine. If the neighbors come knocking because of her noise of pleasure, that's, um, outstanding!
MGWZ0C: (6)EXCELLENT: As a consequence all the prior points plus more,
*the only romance-form I do is ROMANCE-FRIENDS™ - romance form for the 21st century (I also teach it); it is the most advanced & modern & logical romance form I know. In a nutshell, it's simply "The best romance is based on friendship, so just do it: always treat your romance as a friend including as you would treat a friend" --trivial for a kindergartner to get & do, but very hard for adults having been romantically mis-coded by hormones, genetic traits, & society. But worth every penny to bite-the-bullet and learn & do it --because, unlike every other romance-form, Romance-friends™ gets romance fully, including it is the only romance-form to finally truly base romance on friendship, not sex (as "the best sex lasts a few hours, but the best friendship lasts a lifetime!").
**Romance-friends™ is largely-an-extension-(in results) and ideally-the-successor of the next-best romance-form, POLYAMORY, which has a large "About 2,020,000 results" in Google Search and is now being promoted nationwide by Showtime in their new TV series "Polyamory: Married & Dating"; indeed a polyamorous person might say "Polyamory got the key basics of romance right and is definitely in-the-ball-park; but Romance-friends™, with its basis-on-universally-understood&respected-friendship-plus comprehensive-sociobiological-awareness, it gets romance fully, with sociobiology clearly explaining most everything that happens in romance (except what-to-do) and then Romance-friends™ clearly explaining what-to-do and in most any situation and in terms even a kindergartner could understand!"
MGWZ0U: (7)BAD, NOTABLY FOR ME: While most men have a wide variety of women the could have-sex-with (though taking-seriously is another matter!), I am extremely limited on the type of woman I'm romantically attracted to, typically certain rare E.Asian women, and absolutely not by choice, as I explain in the subsection below "(1) BAD: I seem to be genetically-wired.."
MGWZ14: But other than these 7 points, I'm romantically very much the same as most every healthy man.
MDGHKE: VALUES aka "Religion":
Maximum Integrity, specifically:
MGWZ1F: (1) Do right always, regardless,
MGWZ1U: **even if there IS no God(s) nor Karma to ever see it & punish-or-reward for it
MGWZ21: **even if it's unconventional, unpopular, indeed even if I'm the only one doing it and it scares away all friends and, if need-be, kills me
MGWZ2M: (2) Choose reality: face, accept, & ideally-embrace reality as-much-as-my-body-can-take, no matter how unpleasant
MGWZ2W: **Why? One can't "do right" if one can't see what is right to do.
MGWZ34: **So I'm "Scientific" as in "Science" on Wikipedia so:
MGWZ3F: ***I'm Ignostic, not just agnostic, and with atheistic-leaning
MGWZ3Q: ***I find counting-on and explaining-things-by the supernatural (as believing "Jesus is in heaven & loves me" or "What someone does bad will always come back to punish them") typically immediately feels good but is a sign of weakness (notably following emotions even though intellect yields more accurate answers), so I DON'T do it.
MGWZ3Z: (3) Here & in all life, I define "truly love" ("love" for short) as simply "seek what's best for"
MGWZ49: **Why? To at least humans, "love" is an extremely key concept and key concepts are best defined; moreover, this definition works great.
MGWZ4I: (4) Love all, including for all of humankind & nature and including love thy enemies
MGWZ4S: **Maximum empowerment of every person & creature, including everyone different from me
MGWZ4Y: ***A notable example, see "empowerment for women" below.
MGWZ56: **Green especially Environmentalism and some Green politics
MGWZ5I: ***Then why I am I not vegetarian? Because killing plants is also killing and it's natural for humans to eat at least some meat. But I am very much for humane treatment of creatures raised for food, such as featured by my favorite Chipotle Mexican Grill.
MGWZ5W: ***Very Frugal like Warren Buffett and as typified by the Native Americans in Dances with Wolves.
MGWZ63: **The ONLY sin one can do is NOT to do one's best to see & correct wrongs
MGWZ6E: ***Consequently, if one sees ANY problem but does NOT (correct it else at least properly speak it (ideally in writing, and to the parties involved then, if needed, to immediate authorities)), then the problem is instead *the observer* failing to his/her best here so sinning.
MGWZ6P: **Never let the ball be in your court, including:
MGWZ6X: ***With every person, always insure you've given a little more than you've gotten.
MGWZ74: ***With everyone who invests in you, deliver positive ROI.
MGWZ7E: (5) Realize & accept: For every X, one can & does only truly love X to the degree one can know & understand X, so to the degree one doesn't know X then one can't & doesn't love X.
MGWZ7L: **Why? To achieve love(="seek what's best for") for any X, one must *know & understand* "what's best for" X
MGWZ7Y: (6) As consequence the last value plus "love all", minimize everything which blocks knowing & understanding, starting first with dishonesty and not-being upfront & sincere.
MGWZ85: (7) Live with an attitude of gratitude --I need to work more on this.
MGWZ8E: (8) (Live with passion and let emotions also guide & drive one everywhere) PROVIDED it doesn't cause one to violate any of the above.
MDGHQC: PROBLEMS relevant to friends & romances
MFKPY1: ESSAY (this answer) EDIT HISTORY, in order:
MFKPYC: *Prior to this, no change history kept; now created this section for it.
MFKPYY: Made some small wording improvements; as "MDGHPJ: CHARACTER:" is more personal & interesting, moved it up considerably just after "MDGHJJ: MOTIVATION:"; pst2012.12.24tue2234.
MGW0DJ: ~8hrs ago, removed MDFD0P as that clutters & needs factoring out, + added MGV7TR to better explain the profile style. pst2013.01.19Sat0158.
MGW0IE: now added MGNKDO-as-MGW4BX & (big) MGW0NW and made individual points MGW4NZ & MGW4J1; pst2013.01.19Sat1302.
MGW8LZ: Seeing online TXPistol_in_CA, a gal who I recently told her I was quite romantically serious about but she didn't even bother replying --as is ubiquitous on this site--, I wrote & added at the top point IMGW6JC to well-tell her&all the other women doing this, the killer problem they are causing here; pst2013.01.19Sat1505;
MGWE87: then, based on my email to her just now, added important point MGWD5R.
MGWZ8Z: Realized that that I can't have sections as MGW6JC first because (1) people are 1st expecting to learn some basics about you even if they more need to know this (2) without basics about you, they won't take these words/lecture seriously; so moved ahead of this (indeed near to the start) MDGHDS & MDGHEN plus, since short, MDGHJJ & MDGHDJ, interweaving them with other points, overall probably dramatically strengthening the profile. Also improved the linking & wording of all these mentioned sections, and made sure every paragraph had an ID; pst2013.01.20Sun0030.
MH63MM: moved section MGW6JC into new http://1.JotHere.com/3800#
MHBPQC: added MHBMLS, pst2013.01.27Sun2300.
MHBSM3: Had Home-Geek review new MHBMLS then, based on feedback & more thought, improved; pst2013.01.28Mon0022.