Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Saint_Gasoline

32 M Saint Louis, MO

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 21–49
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
i'm a very non laid-back guy and incredibly not easy-going. in fact i'm so far from laid-back and easy-going that i'm best described as a stand-front guy who is hard-not going. it's supremely fucked up how much i am not those things. maybe you're looking for a down-to-earth guy? sorry, then, because i'm not down on the earth at all. i'm one of those very hard-to-date up in the air skymen types. so please, ladies, if you're looking for a laid-back, easy-going guy you will have to look elsewhere for these incredibly rare and unique traits. because this guy right here [gestures at self with both thumbs] is completely not adjectivally described in such a way.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
i work in a bland office cubicle as a means to sustain the way of life i've become accustomed to in this late capitalist dystopia. but that's my day job. in the evenings i harness the anxiety, lack of fulfillment, ennui, and existential dread and channel it into various forms of creativity, including but not limited to: tweets, blogs, clever facebook statuses, tumblrs, bloopits, glorbots, plompcrots, snapchats, half-finished novellas, interpretative dance, interpretive dog walking, interpretative doing the laundry, etc.

my dream job is probably to write comedy of some sort and have people pay me for it in something other than rotten fruit being hurled at me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
i excel in knowing when things are good. i'm also proficient in knowing whether a thing is bad and in fact not good.

my degree and professional skills portend a skill with grammar, spelling, and writing - skills i often choose to ignore in the interest of not coming off like those insufferable people who take an overt amount of joy from correcting minor grammatical mistakes or criticizing AAVE as "improper English". people who confuse an inability to use standard english with an inability to say interesting or intelligent things make me want to throw my arms up in the air like i just don't care, except that i would care; i'd care a lot because those people are insufferable and bad. i personally prefer to bend the grammatical rules and fuck around with the medium, rather than forcing it into some tiny dark hole without light or goodness and calling it "proper".

i'm also good at keeping it real. i dislike keeping it unreal. i abhor the phenomenal realm and prefer the noumenal thing-in-itself.

i'd like to think that i could hold my own were i forced to battle between 2-3 ice wolves, owing to the many sparring sessions i have with my dog in preparation for the fateful day when the ice wolves will inevitably come for us all. you may laugh at me for this now, but when the ice wolves come i will be the one laughing at you, from atop my saddled ice wolf
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my steely blue eyes, the sly crook of my lip as i smile in your direction, the mustard stain on my shirt, my inexplicable lack of pants, my life-size Fathead ® brand cardboard cutout of Ron Paul that i'm sitting across from in the Cheesecake Factory and talking to as if it's a close friend and even feeding a seven-layer blooming onion to through the special mouth/digestive tract i constructed and built into it from tubes & sacks, my hair
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
AYN RAND IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE. FAVORITE BOOKS, MOVIES, SHOWS, MUSIC, FOOD: AYN RAND.

nah actually i'm a huge fan of pretentious white guy lit such as david foster wallace, jonathan franzen, et al. also enjoy jennifer egan, margaret atwood. been meaning to read junot diaz. i vacillate between literary fiction and nonfiction genres such as philosophy, politics, history, feminism, etc. even though my literary interests are highly pretentious i assure you i do not think i am superior to people who read harry potter or whatever

when it comes to interests outside of books i am generally less of an elitist-seeming piece of crap. i enjoy watching football and my favorite team is the rams, as their perennial failure to win reinforces in me the knowledge of my own contingency/lack of purpose in life. i enjoy incredibly bad top 40 pop hits as well as less bad things re: music. i also enjoy a variety of movies on various levels of the good vs. bad spectrum (mulholland drive, dr. strangelove / the room, troll 2).

im vegetarian for ethical reasons but won't judge you if your moral circle isnt as expanded as mine is. i like trying new foods and am amenable to eating bugs (which feel no conscious pain/do not harm the environment to produce) if you insist i eat some kind of meat.

my favorite part of rap songs is when there's the slowed down rap voice and if there's no slowed down rap voice part in a song then i will get very upset and start throwing my weight around and shouting into the unforgiving skies, demanding answers
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-irony
-incredibly unhealthy greasy food
-my wicked cool dog
-a list of six things i can't do without that i keep handy just in case i forget
-the various things i use to distract myself from the inevitability of death, like my Applebees ® frequent customer rewards card
-my extremely normcore fashion sense, which is a hegelian synthesis of the thesis of hipster appropriation of extreme masuclinity/lumberjack attire and the antithesis of mom apparel
-an abacus (currently do not own one; desperately in need)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how i can be a better a person. i care a lot about social justice issues like feminism, racism, etc. i wish i could say i was more active in these causes outside of my relatively popular twitter account that i often use to mock whatever celebrity said some fucked up racist/sexist shit (richard dawkins & joyce carol oates have gotten a lot of my ire lately), but sadly i would have no idea where to start for any real-world involvement and my mild social anxiety makes me disinclined to do anything like that anyway

what the hell i'm doing with my life.

how humor works. why so many comedy types are truly awful people with awful beliefs and say dumb shit to try to be "edgy". why people think being criticized means they dont have free speech.

how i can become a better writer. what norms and tropes can i fuck with to improve myself. what do i have to say that is of significance. how can i say something of insignificance in a meaningful way. that kind of garbage.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
-WRESTLING SEVERAL DOGS TO FIND THEIR WEAKNESSES
-EATING PEANUT BUTTER DIRECTLY OUT OF THE JAR USING A JAGGED STICK BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING BOSS
-READING INFINITE JEST IN ONE HAND AND THE CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON IN THE OTHER AND JUST FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP MENTALLY, DAWG
-UNPACKING ALL OF MY WHITE CIS MALE PRIVILEGE SO THAT I CAN SMASH THE FUCKING PATRIARCHY
-WONDERING WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LIFE TO BECOME SO ENMESHED IN THIS CAPITALISTIC SOCIAL MILIEU THAT I NOW VIEW EVEN MY OWN IDENTITY AS A PERSONAL "BRAND" THAT I NEED TO SELL AND EXPLOIT FOR FINANCIAL PROFIT SUCH THAT I CAN SUSTAIN MY NEED FOR THE PRODUCTS/COMMODITIES BY WHICH I ALSO DEFINE MYSELF. I'M A GAMER AND LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW.
-CHILLAXING
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
just ask and i'll tell you all my dark horrible secrets, like [and this is just a lil taste of the things i'm capable of] the time when i was a impressionable teen & i read a ayn rand book and believed all the things it said

i probably seem entertaining and funny based on this profile, but i am significantly less entertaining and funny in person. like most "funny" people [like most "people"] i am actually a very depressed person dealing with a lot of deep anxiety and i have no idea what i want out of life/relationships or anything in general. i'm highly fucked up and not good. if i were a house i'd be what's known as a "fixer upper" for some motivated person to want to try to go in and change but then it turns out there's just too much mold. you're gonna have to just tear it down and put up a new condo. what i'm saying is that i want to be a condo when i grow up

i'm not currently seeking a relationship at the moment. although if you just want to meet on a friends basis that's cool. or if you just want to have meaningless sex that is also cool. but no committed relationships here. i don't expect too many of you will want meaningless sex with some average looking man online, so move along, lil pardner
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you are not a FAKE person with a lot of drama. i'm not interested in anyone who is fake and is actually three children in a trenchcoat masquerading as an adult and trying to convince me to watch award winning dramas such as The Shawshank Redemption. i'm sorry but i've been burned too many times.

...you

...YOU FIGURED OUT THAT MY IRONY IS MERELY A "SUIT OF ARMOR" IF YOU WILL TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM JUDGMENT AND REJECTION AND ACTUALLY I DEEPLY CARE ABOUT THINGS AND SOMETIMES GET ALL BLEARY EYED THINKING ABOUT PUPPIES