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31 • M • Saint Louis, MO
- Last Online
- Online now!
- Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
- 5′ 8″ (1.73m)
- Body Type
- Used up
- Atheism, and very serious about it
- Libra, but it doesn’t matter
- Graduated from university
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
- Has dogs and has cats
- English (Fluently), French (Poorly)
my dream job is probably to write comedy of some sort and have people pay me for it in something other than rotten fruit being hurled at me.
my degree and professional skills portend a skill with grammar, spelling, and writing - skills i often choose to ignore in the interest of not coming off like those insufferable people who take an overt amount of joy from correcting minor grammatical mistakes or criticizing AAVE as "improper English". people who confuse an inability to use standard english with an inability to say interesting or intelligent things make me want to throw my arms up in the air like i just don't care, except that i would care. i'd care a lot because those people are insufferable and bad. i personally prefer to bend the grammatical rules and fuck around with the medium, rather than forcing it into some tiny dark hole without light or goodness and calling it "proper".
i'm also good at keeping it real. i dislike keeping it unreal. i abhor the phenomenal realm and prefer the noumenal thing-in-itself.
i'd like to think that i could hold my own were i forced to battle between 2-3 ice wolves, owing to the many sparring sessions i have with my dog in preparation for the fateful day when the ice wolves will inevitably come for us all
nah actually i'm a huge fan of pretentious white guy lit such as david foster wallace, jonathan franzen, et al. also enjoy jennifer egan, margaret atwood. been meaning to read junot diaz. i vacillate between literary fiction and nonfiction genres such as philosophy, politics, history, feminism, etc. even though my literary interests are highly pretentious i assure you i do not think i am superior to people who read harry potter or that incredibly black and white book about how there are supposedly multiple shades of gray.
when it comes to interests outside of books i am generally less of an elitist-seeming piece of crap. i enjoy watching football and my favorite team is the rams, as their perennial failure to win reinforces in me the knowledge of my own contingency/lack of purpose in life. i enjoy incredibly bad top 40 pop hits as well as less bad things re: music. i also enjoy a variety of movies on various levels of the good vs. bad spectrum (mulholland drive, dr. strangelove / the room, troll 2).
im vegetarian for ethical reasons but won't judge you if your moral circle isnt as expanded as mine is. i like trying new foods and am amenable to eating bugs (which feel no conscious pain/do not harm the environment to produce) if you insist i eat some kind of meat.
my favorite part of rap songs is when there's the slowed down rap voice and if there's no slowed down rap voice part in a song then i will get very upset and start throwing my weight around and shouting into the unforgiving skies, demanding answers
-incredibly unhealthy greasy food
-my wicked cool dog
-a list of six things i can't do without that i keep handy just in case i forget
-the various things i use to distract myself from the inevitability of death, like my Applebees ® frequent customer rewards card
-my extremely normcore fashion sense, which is a hegelian synthesis of the thesis of hipster appropriation of extreme masuclinity/lumberjack attire and the antithesis of mom apparel
-an abacus (currently do not own one; desperately in need)
how humor works. why so many comedy types are truly awful people with awful beliefs and say dumb shit to try to be "edgy". why people think being criticized means they dont have free speech.
how i can become a better writer. what norms and tropes can i fuck with to improve myself. what do i have to say that is of significance. how can i say something of insignificance in a meaningful way. that kind of garbage.
-EATING PEANUT BUTTER DIRECTLY OUT OF THE JAR USING A JAGGED STICK BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING BOSS
-READING INFINITE JEST IN ONE HAND AND THE CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON IN THE OTHER AND JUST FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP MENTALLY, DAWG
-UNPACKING ALL OF MY WHITE CIS MALE PRIVILEGE IN THIS COOL INVISIBLE KNAPSACK I FOUND SO THAT I CAN SMASH THE FUCKING PATRIARCHY
-WONDERING WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LIFE TO BECOME SO ENMESHED IN THIS CAPITALISTIC SOCIAL MILIEU THAT I NOW VIEW EVEN MY OWN IDENTITY AS A PERSONAL "BRAND" THAT I NEED TO SELL AND EXPLOIT FOR FINANCIAL PROFIT SUCH THAT I CAN SUSTAIN MY NEED FOR THE PRODUCTS/COMMODITIES BY WHICH I ALSO DEFINE MYSELF. I'M A GAMER AND LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW.
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 21–49
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
...YOU FIGURED OUT THAT MY IRONY IS MERELY A "SUIT OF ARMOR" IF YOU WILL TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM JUDGMENT AND REJECTION AND ACTUALLY I DEEPLY CARE ABOUT THINGS AND SOMETIMES GET ALL BLEARY EYED THINKING ABOUT PUPPIES
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