The Nail in my
I just didn't want a regular earring. Ask me about the story if you
want to hear it..
What's that? You wanna hear it?
So one day me and my buddy David are sitting around at his place,
as a most common thing of the time was to do just that. We had been
sitting in "The Cube." The room of which had one window, and
minimum ventilation, so I'm sure that heat-crazed insanity which
sparked what happened next. "I feel like piercing my ear" I said.
Dave just Lol'd and as if he didn't think I was serious, asked
" I respond
I had found the Nail
I didn't know what from but it was just right, and still very
sharp. For about an hour in the heat and sweat I debated in my mind
whilst rubbin my earlobe. At that point I told Dave that I was
ready, and gave him the plan. I would rest my ear on the side of
the counter and he would drive The Nail
into my ear with a hammer. He
turns to me with a brick-serious face and said "Are you man enough
to do this?" I walk by him with a smile and say "You should be
asking yourself that same question." I don't think he really knew
what I was talking about.
I washed The Nail
in some Dawn dishsoap and we got ready. He was about to hit the
nail and he said..
"I don't know if I can do this man.."
I turned to him with a look as if I did not know the man standing
next to me, wondering why he was holding a hammer and exclaimed
"Thats why I asked if YOU were man enough." And with that remark
his worries changed into a fearful determination that could never
be matched. It was a challenge now.
I lowered my head to the counter so my earlobe rested on the
puncture-proof surface with a face like "Don't hit me in the eye."
He raised the hammer and asked "Ready?"
I merely nodded, or tried to nod, only because my head was
horizontal on the counter and my body was contorted in such a way
to allow my head to lay horizontally, so it basically looked like I
had a small case of Parkinson's.
He struck The
, dead on the target, but with the force of a child because
he didn't want to crush my cranium, and I told him, "AGAIN, HARDER"
and he happily obliged. The Nail
was being stubborn, as if it
didn't think my earlobe was a good place to call home. I stood up
and looked in the mirror to see just the tip was in my now reddened
lobe. I just grabbed my ear with my left hand, and pushed The Nail
through with the
right and as it did it made a slight "SQUILSH" noise, slightly
disturbing, but looking solid.
Time Shift to a week later
I awake in my bed, on my back. I never sleep on my back, nor do I
ever wake on it, so it was unusual to say the least. My right had
was clutching an object, needless to say and I'm sure you guessed
it, it was The
. My left had was in an even stranger spot. Holding my
pierced ear. In closer examination in the well-lit bathroom, it
seemed to be apparent that my hand was covered in blood, and so was
my ear. Guess I was rubbin' it, but thats just an assumption. I
merely washed up, put The Nail
back and went back to sleep.
End of Story.
In answer to questions you may have, No it didn't hurt. No, I'm not
in the least bit lying. Yes, it is badass. No, do not copy me, and
finally No! It did NOT get infected, regardless of how much blood I
lost. And Yes I stopped wearing it when I grew up... but If you
want I'll reclaim my glory days. Just for you.
Well then, I just realized that you may not notice a nail in my ear
that isn't actually there anymore.. so I guess I would say my
existence is the first thing they notice about me.