Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


26 Brighton, UK Woman


You might like

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Bisexual, Pansexual
Body type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi everyone ^^ I am bi/pansexual, genderqueer/agender (just all round queer really), I'm a larger lady and I like my food (but I eat fairly moderately), and I'm very into body-positive, fat-positive and size-positive politics (if I were a country singer, I'd be called Fingerlickin' Big Bessie Smalls :D). There is no wrong way to have a body, it's what's in your heart and mind (and spirit/soul if you are so inclined) that should count. I am a sex-positive liberal feminist and am strongly opposed to censorship, and do not want to date anyone who is prejudiced against trans people, is ableist, classist or racist. The most important part of my politics is that everyone has a right to ownership of their body, and I consider the rights, including autonomy as well as protection, of children to be very important (but not in a "won't somebody please think of the children?" kind of way, I don't agree with banning porn because kids might see it, don't agree with editing old children's cartoons for stereotyping/cigarettes/etc.). I am an atheist and not religious (though I do have something of a spiritual side, but it's not a major part of my life, just something that I don't close myself off from). I like animation and comics from around the world, including, as my name would indicate; Cardcaptor Sakura, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Fullmetal Alchemist. I love reading dearly, I game a little, I like to cook and am a total music addict. I have a passion for writing and enjoy doing visual art every now and then (I particularly enjoy working with glitter glue, because sparkles). I love to laugh, loud and long and clear... CHANGE PLACES! Je suis Napoleon! I don't drink, smoke or take drugs but have no problem with those who do. I'm looking to make emotional connections with people, I'm not interested in "meet-shag-leave" type arrangements. Basically I want someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright. I am hoping to have a long term relationship, whether polyamorous, open or monogamous and settle down eventually (though I remain unconvinced that marriage is something I really want to do), but I'm open to forming close friendships which involve sexual intimacy without a romantic element as well, as long as we like, love and trust each other. The healthiest long term sexual relationship I have had thus far has been of this type, so it is possible to make work in my experience. I have been in a polyamorous relationship before and there were a lot of things I loved about that as well, so it is not purely theoretical for me.

My motto in life is "The best laid plans can end in talking to people on social media about what you are planning to do and then were planning to do but didn't and/or watching videos of cats behaving in a manner befitting their species."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not much, I live in my own supported accommodation flat, which is nice, I can walk around naked at my leisure :) I am planning to start learning Japanese, and would like to take my English GCSE (I left school due to bullying at 14 so I never took them, I have my Maths one though, I could easily pass my English one) and take an art course (not at GCSE level yet though, it's way too hardcore for me to cope with at the moment). I am a writer (not professionally, but I love to write - fiction, poetry and songs).

I am also spending too much time on the internet looking up nice things to buy that I can't afford. I was once addicted to internet games but am proud to say I quit (it was getting really awful, I would be sitting at the computer for hours bleary eyed and hungry and feeling like crap and I had pain in my wrist a few times from playing for so long without breaks.) I do occasionally game these days, but never arcade style things as that's basically what I was addicted to. Solitaire cards are the devil.

When I'm not online chatting to friends and adding to my anime wishlist or writing I mostly watch and read stuff, I also like to cook, I can't cook a wide variety of things but my favourite thing is frying some onions and cut up sausages and having them with instant noodles - it's much nicer than the seasoning packets they include (which I now have a steadily building collection of in my cupboard as I never use them anymore). I made a beautiful spanish omelet recently. I try and keep on top of the general business of ablutions and not letting the flat become a tip (the latter with the help of my P.A.). I'm hoping to start volunteering at Amnesty Bookshop again when I have the time/shit-togetheredness to do so.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing (though not necessarily writing dating website profiles :P). I'm a good whistler. From what I can tell, drawing and singing (though I could certainly stand to improve at both). I can also kind of juggle. I used to play the saxophone, but I'm not sure if I was all that good at that, I took it up because I was such a huge Simpsons fan at the time (I still am a huge fan of the first 10 seasons, but it's not my main interest anymore). I did enjoy it though. I'm pretty good at maths, but need to polish up my self confidence about learning in order to really get further with it. I have yet to master a second language (haven't found the time/focus to study until recently), but I've always been good with them.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not completely sure, but here are a few things people have told me they noticed about me:

My hair (either that it's long, that it's pretty or that it sometimes hasn't been washed in over a week).
That I have nice legs (ok, that was one guy, but I do seem to get a lot of positive attention when I wear short skirts).
That I talk fast
That my bras don't fit (I do wear one at a time, I just have more than one that doesn't fit... I don't have anything against people who wear more than one bra at a time).
That I seem intelligent
That my T-shirts are cool (and usually have at least one small food stain on them, this also applies to my clothes more generally).
That I'm fat (nice when someone's cool with it, not nice when they start telling me I should be losing weight even though dieting causes me to develop eating disordered/body dysmorphic thought patterns that are very distressing for me).
That I have lots of DVDs and comics (in the form of collected book editions, I don't want to deal with the flimsiness of trades, also this is generally something people notice when they see my room, I don't usually walk around with a sizable library on my person).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and I own and love the entire radio series), I recently read the first Hunger Games novel and a prose retelling of The Iliad called The Song of Achilles and I really enjoyed both, lots of manga (manga series I've completed are Antique Bakery, Kiichi and the Magic Books, King of Thorn, Moon Child, The Heart of Thomas, there are loads of other manga I really like as well, in particular Tegami Bachi and Blade of the Immortal) and other comics. I'm currently reading the Spice and Wolf novel series and am utterly in love with the world and characters, I wish more light novel series were this good. I'm really enjoying Hiromu Arakawa's retelling of The Heroic Legend of Arslan and can't wait for the next volume to come out. Peter Pan is amazing. I haven't read that many Discworld novels but of the ones I have my favourites are Guards! Guards! and Mort. Also, for the record, not a fan of any of the following: Twilight, The Da Vinci Code, LOTR (though the movies are decent and I think The Hobbit is a really good book), 50 Shades of Gray (Gilbert Gottfried LOL), not a big fan of Harry Potter but don't dislike it as much as the others.

Movies: Loads, but all time favourites (I've tried to limit this to films that I've seen a few times, there are a fair few obscure animated films that I've seen that I really enjoyed but have only watched once so far so I didn't include them) include 10 Things I Hate About You, Aladdin (Disney), Angel's Egg, The Boy Who Wanted to Do the Impossible (also known as The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Bear), Chico & Rita, The Dark Crystal, The Emperor's New Groove, Evangelion 1.11 & 2.22 (can't wait for movies 3 and 4!), Fantastic Mr. Fox (to all the people whinging about how american it was? Let's see the u.k's pathetic animation industry do better then), Feherlofia (Son of the White Mare/The White Mare's Son), The Girl Who Leaped Through Time, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (yes, the Disney version), In & Out, The Iron Giant, Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade, Josie and the Pussycats, The Jungle Book (Disney animated), Kiki's Delivery Service, Kirikou and the Sorceress, Lilo and Stitch, The Naked Gun, Orphee, Princess Arete, Pump Up the Volume, The Secret of Kells, Tokyo Godfathers, Up (Pixar), The Wedding Singer... there's lots more. I also still own the 2005 Radio Times Film Guide which I hope to one day finish reading and watch all the films that sounded interesting (and yes, I do also use the IMDb) :D I recently saw The Double and thought that was fantastic, I wish more films were that original (OK, I know it's based on Dostoyevsky, but it's still pretty original as films go). I love Goldie Hawn, Jamie Lee Curtis and Melissa McCarthy. Alan Cumming is awesome.

TV/OVAs (In addition to the stuff I've already mentioned): Azumanga Daioh, Batman: The Animated Series, Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Cowboy Bebop, Buffy/Angel, Carnivale, Chuck, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Dad's Army, Father Ted, Fawlty Towers, Firefly, FLCL, Flight of the Conchords, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Full Metal Panic!, Futurama, Gargoyles, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Golden Time, The Good Life, Heroman, Katanagatari, Kino's Journey, Last Exile, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Noein: To Your Other Self, Paranoia Agent, Please Save My Earth, The Powerpuff Girls, Princess Tutu, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Pushing Daisies, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Samurai Champloo, Samurai Jack, Samurai X/Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal, Serial Experiments Lain, Smack the Pony, Spaced, The Tatami Galaxy, Teen Titans, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, The Twelve Kingdoms, The Venture Bros./Brothers, Wolf's Rain and many more.

Music: Two of my favourite songs are The Village People's version of Macho Man and Love Shack by The B-52s (I would love to meet someone who makes me feel like that song!) I love Electric Six (I see them play in Brighton every year, about the only time I can be bothered to go to a gig because it's fun rather than just beautiful, I have met Dick Valentine at his solo shows twice and he kissed my forehead! I didn't wash it for a while afterwards :P) and a few bands that I've revisited many a time are The Beatles (cliche but they are a damn good band), The Cure (though I'm no expert), Depeche Mode (Black Celebration and Violator are heavenly), Flight of the Conchords, Hot Chip, Interpol, Queens of the Stone Age, Radiohead. A few recent favourites include Soulsavers (I love Mark Lanegan's voice, Broken is a beautiful album), Mama's Broken Heart by Miranda Lambert, Girl in a Country Song by Maddie and Tae, Bit by Bit from Fletch (what glorious 80s cheese), Black Element (they aren't very well known, I think Runn'n Young'n expresses how much pressure there is to get ahead with life in a really poignant way), Royal Blood, Devendra Banhart, Beirut, The Pretty Reckless, The Dollyrots, Catallena by Orange Caramel and Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars (also Daffodils, love those spacy Kevin Parker vocals). I have a great fondness for Mika (I like the generally positive messages of his songs, his body positive attitude and the lack of oversexualisation in his videos). Really want to listen to Janelle Monae and Bat for Lashes' albums again, can't wait to pick up Savages' (the four piece all female post punk quartet) album.

Food: Bacon, Cheese, Chocolate (and chocolate brownies, cheesecake, mousse, trifle), Croissants, Cucumbers, Donuts, Ice cream, Kiwi Fruit, Lychees, Mangoes, Milk and Milkshakes (I know it's debatable whether this counts as food or drink, I say both), Mushroom Risotto, Fried Onions, Paella, Pasta, Pizza, Raspberries, Sandwiches, Vegetable Samosas, Smoked Salmon, Spanish Omelettes, Sushi, Tomatoes, Dessert Waffles... and so on, food is good. Not a big fan of spicy foods and will never try snails, the thought makes me gag (I have nothing against French people or French cuisine as a whole, I just don't want to eat snails).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order, and excluding the barest necessities of survival such as oxygen, water, etc, because everyone knows I need those things, so what's the point in putting them down here, I'd much rather talk about what I, personally, need in order to be happy. I mean, technically I could survive if I had been sexually abused as a child or lacked the ability to feel sexual pleasure due to genital mutilation, or had lost an arm, does that mean that not being sexually abused as a child and having genitals that haven't been mutilated and having both your arms are suddenly just frivolously silly things that you only think you need? Like it or not, people have psychological needs as well as physical ones. Among them are the absence of trauma and the presence of comfort and pleasure.

My Rights (and everyone else's)
My body
Wanking (and I really don't want to go without partnered sex either, but I could deal with that, never masturbating again however would wreck my mental health) and hugs. Therefore covering my most essential kinds of touch.
Friends/Family - and more generally, love.
Good food
Computer and internet

There, that's more than 6 things. I don't follow your rules, man!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
(in no particular order)

Silly band names
People I love
How to make the world a better place
Can I afford to buy this awesome extremely nerdy thing?
Will I ever manage to work through my DVD/book backlog?
If Jerry's so smart, why on earth does he hide the can opener so Tom has no other sources of food than him?
Was Barney the Purple Dinosaur a missed opportunity to create a mascot for queer scientists? Could he have, potentially, been awesome rather than annoying?
That AMV I keep meaning to make

I spend a lot of time composing songs in my head as well :)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In my room, wearing a dressing gown or a panda onesie (or nothing), watching DVDs or on the internet. I do go out on other nights of the week though, but to social and youth groups rather than clubs, pubs or bars (I will go to them, but I like to talk, so not being able to hear the words of the people I'm spending time with is offputting).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think I've been pretty open about everything already... oh, alright, when I was a kid, I stuck a baby tooth of mine that had recently come out in my ear and had to go to A & E. I was upset that I had to miss Buffy in order to get it removed. It didn't actually hurt that much, but it's probably for the best that they took it out ;)

More "seriously" I have ADHD and I'm on the autistic spectrum, these things don't define who I am but if you want to associate with me you have to accept them.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to message me, it is mandatory that:

You agree with me about politics, which among other things means supporting abortion rights for all women, not just women who you don't consider to be sluts because they didn't make the supposedly terrible, evil decision to have sex *rolls eyes*. I mean, seriously, why on earth would I fuck you knowing that you think I should have to run the risk of 9 months of health problems and potentially injuries such as a torn clitoris or vaginal prolapse, permanent disability or death plus pain that lasts for hours or even days if I fuck you? Especially when you don't have to run any of those risks yourself? You don't have to specifically consider yourself liberal or feminist, but if you're anti-feminist/anti-womanist or conservative/republican, we aren't going to get along. We also aren't going to get along if you're opposed to welfare and/or public education and/or laws meant to prevent discrimation in employment, housing, etc. And furthermore we are not going to get along if you are pro-censorship even if your reasons are supposedly feminist.

Optional but preferred:

You like anime and/or manga.

Would be cool:

You believe in unicorns and fairies/nature spirits a teeny little bit (not a lot, just a bit). Or appreciate them as metaphors for the natural world and it's rebirth.

In the unlikely but awesome eventuality that:

You are not human but can still type - I'll be well impressed and promise not to reveal your secret to the media.

DON'T MESSAGE ME IF (I apologize for the repetition and caps but a lot of people don't pay attention to this bit):

Don't message me if you haven't read my entire profile, I don't really mind if you skip over the favourites section (unless you're then going to send me messages asking "do you like this thing that it clearly says in your favourites section that you like?") but I expect you to have read and understood everything else.

Don't message me if you're going to send me a message that just says "Hi" or "Hey" or "Hello" or "How r u?" or something else short and generic like that. I do not respond to these messages. If you want to talk to me, show me you're capable of an interesting conversation and are going to put effort into your messages. I have sometimes tried responding to these kinds of brief generic messages to give the person in question a chance and test my hypothesis that such conversation starters are a bad sign, and have overwhelmingly found that the conversation goes nowhere interesting. We don't have to discuss complex philosophy/politics/science/art theory/etc. all the time but I do expect what we talk about to involve actually getting to know each other in depth/creating a rapport.

Don't message me if you're going to send me passive aggressive messages asking why I haven't responded to you, especially if you're going to ask me why I haven't responded to you just because I don't respond within 5 or 10 minutes. A) Have some goddamn patience. B) I am talking to other people than just you on here, sometimes sending them rather lengthy messages that took time to compose because they and I are having a proper conversation, and I am not necessarily going to interrupt that to talk to you. C) I am talking to other people elsewhere online. D) I have a life! I spend a lot of time with OKCupid open but that doesn't mean I'm actually paying any attention to it right now. I don't mind if you send me a second message a good while (as in, like, a week or two) after your first one just in case I missed it (as long as it abides by my previously stated rule that it be a proper message and not just a short generic one) as sometimes I don't get around to responding to someone that seems promising until they do send me a second message at a time when I'm not too busy or stressed to engage with it, but don't pester me. And, if you're going to message me, understand and accept that if I'm not interested I will probably not respond to you at all.

Don't message me if you're going to ask me if I'll talk to you on this or that other messaging app or site when we've only just started talking. I don't have a smartphone and I have chosen to set up this profile because this site is my preferred method of communication until I have actually gotten to know someone well enough to want to share other parts of my online life with them, which will probably take months in most cases.

Don't message me if you're expecting kinky sex, I'm not completely closed off to kinky stuff but I've been fairly vanilla up to this point and if you aren't capable of enjoying vanilla sex I don't think we're compatible. I mean, sure we can make friends, but don't message me thinking I will be the woman who fulfills all your BDSM fantasies because I'm really not sure I'm up for that.

Don't message me if you are going to send me pictures of yourself naked or ask to have any kind of online or offline sex or ask me if I'm horny when I haven't asked for them/that and we've only just met. If your first message is sexual in nature then I will report you to OKCupid for harassment, as I have stated my boundaries and you have chosen to overstep them and I detest having my time wasted by people (almost always men) who just want sex. You have been warned.

Don't message me if you hate children, I don't want to be a parent, but hating children is really wrong. It's fine if you're extremely uncomfortable around them, but if you actually hate them that is not OK.

Don't message me if you're anti-abortion (which includes if you think they should lower the time limit)

Don't message me if you're prejudiced against any group of people, including but not limited to ones to which I belong, such as queer, disabled, female assigned at birth, fat, etc. A few more examples of people I won't talk to are those who believe that race or gender determine intelligence, people who blame rape-victims for their rapes, people who think it's impossible for a man to be raped by a woman, and people who think that disabled people are/should be asexual. And though it should be FUCKING CLEAR FROM EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY PROFILE, I do not want to talk to you if you think that being LGBTQUIA is wrong, I've been messaged by a couple of straight guys who thought female homo/bisexuality was acceptable but male homo/bisexuality wasn't... A) You're fucking bigots B) You think with your dicks instead of your hearts and heads C) I'm insulted that you'd think, based on my profile, that I'd be such a hypocrite as to be ok with you being prejudiced against gay/bi men (or for that matter, trans women, I wouldn't be surprised if you were prejudiced against them too), especially since some of them are among my dearest friends (if you guys are reading this, I love you, you're fucking awesome!)... oh yeah, this shit is personal. And it IS acceptable for men to wear makeup/earrings/whatever clothes they want, no matter how "girly/feminine", if you think it isn't fuck off. Oh, and furthermore, and what is more, and Thomas Moore, lesbianism does not exist to get men off.

Don't message me if you're opposed to gay marriage or opposed to same sex/gender couples having children. I don't want to have children myself but that doesn't mean I don't find someone objecting to me having a choice in the matter deeply hurtful.

Don't message me if you answered yes to that question about whether the world would be a better place if people with low IQs weren't allowed to reproduce... eugenics is WRONG and even if you think that it's unethical but it would make the world a better place you are essentially denying that the existence of people with low IQs has any value at all, you are saying that the world would be a better place if they didn't exist, and that is profoundly ableist.

Don't message me if you are pro-death penalty.