Quote from my best friend "The only thing bigger than your tits is your heart." I try to live up to that as best I can.
Hi everyone ^^ I am bi/pansexual, femme-ish but not really into the gender binary all that much, I'm fat and I like my food (but I eat fairly moderately), I make no apologies for who I am or my body and I'm very into body-positive, fat-positive and size-positive politics (if I were a country singer, I'd be called Fingerlickin' Big Bessie Smalls :D). If I don't want to fuck you I don't want to fuck you, but that's the only context in which your appearance means anything to me. I believe in the power of love, friendship, fun, baby animals, rainbows, icecream, cheese toasties and cthulhu. I like the rain but not when it's really cold (not a fan of pneumonia*).
I am a sex-positive liberal/heavily socialist leaning feminist and am strongly opposed to censorship. The most important part of my politics is that everyone has a right to ownership of their body, and I consider the rights, including autonomy as well as protection, of children to be very important (but not in a "won't somebody please think of the children?" kind of way, I don't agree with banning porn because kids might see it, don't agree with censoring old children's cartoons for stereotyping/cigarettes/etc.). I am an atheist and not religious (though I do have something of a spiritual side, but it's not a major part of my life, just something that I don't close myself off from, as I simply cannot personally conceptualize all my experiences in purely "material" terms, even though I have a basic understanding of the science involved, it's kind of like how the placebo effect can be so powerful that some people can have a headache and take a sugar pill and know it's a sugar pill and then it can still relieve the pain, if that makes sense?). I like animation and comics from around the world, I enjoy anime but am beyond sick of all the heavily sexualized teenage girl worship in it. It's hella creepy -_-. Also annoyed by all the stupid shows with generic as fuck dialogue about "I want to protect blah blah blah." Easy sentiment sucks. I love reading dearly, I game very occasionally but it's not a big interest of mine, I like to cook and am a total music addict. I have a passion for writing but don't do much of it and enjoy doing visual art every now and then (I particularly enjoy working with glitter glue, because sparkles). I want to do more visual art because I find it more calming than writing. I don't drink, smoke or take drugs but have no problem with those who do (I mean genuinely, most of my friends drink alcohol and most of my partners have/do and I have had many thoroughly enjoyable evenings hanging out at my flat with my friends while they consumed huge volumes of vodka/rum and coke and I was completely sober, or at the bar with a big group of friends, I'm very good at hanging out with really drunk people without us seeming weirdly mismatched). While I am not vegan or vegetarian and suck at "ethical consumerism" I think the way animals are treated in industrialized meat and dairy/egg production is horrific and it breaks my heart.
I'm looking to make emotional connections with people, I'm not interested in "meet-shag-leave" type arrangements. Basically I want someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright. I am hoping to have a long term relationship, whether polyamorous, open or maybe monogamous (I am skeptical about monogamy, I think it is probably not for me) and settle down eventually (though I remain unconvinced that marriage is something I really want to do), but I'm open to forming close friendships which involve sexual intimacy without a romantic element as well, as long as we like, love and trust each other. The healthiest long term sexual relationship I have had thus far has been of this type, so it is possible to make work in my experience. I have been in a polyamorous relationship before and there were a lot of things I loved about that as well, so it is not purely theoretical for me. I currently have a close friend who I have sex with every now and then, and I'm not really very keen to give a good thing up, so unless you're OK with that move along. And just 'cause I'm a fat chick doesn't mean I don't have standards so if you're not going to stay in regular contact and actually show up when we arrange to meet, are selfish in bed, or are just looking for a hole to ejaculate into please kindly fuck off.
UPDATE: I now have a lovely boyfriend and am not looking for sex or dating anymore, but welcome friends :)
*though I do think that Diphtheria's second album is really underrated.
That I have beautiful eyes.
That I have beautiful eyelashes (my mum told me that the last time I was feeling insecure about my body, she said the doctor commented on it at one of my early checkups and everything, so it is deffo a thing).
That I have huge... tracts of land. Srsly though I do have noticeably big tits.
My hair (either that it's long, that it's pretty or that it sometimes hasn't been washed in over a week).
That I have nice legs (ok, that was one guy, but I do seem to get a lot of positive attention when I wear short skirts).
That I talk fast
That my bras don't fit (I do wear one at a time, I just have more than one that doesn't fit... I don't have anything against people who wear more than one bra at a time).
That I seem intelligent
That my T-shirts are cool (and usually have at least one small food stain on them, this also applies to my clothes more generally).
That I'm fat (nice when someone's cool with it, not nice when they start telling me I should be losing weight even though dieting causes me to develop eating disordered/body dysmorphic thought patterns that are very distressing for me).
That I have lots of DVDs and comics (in the form of collected book editions, I don't want to deal with the flimsiness of trades, also this is generally something people notice when they see my room, I don't usually walk around with a sizable library on my person).
Street Fighter the Live-Action Movie
More seriously, Radio and Book versions of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, various manga such as Twin Spica, Banana Fish, Moon Child and Loveless. Studio Ghibli and Mamoru Oshii films, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Serial Experiments Lain, Azumanga Daioh, Cardcaptor Sakura (not the shitty Cardcaptors version where they removed all the gay), and various things at, between or outside of those two points on the anime spectrum. Also Princess Tutu. If I keep writing this list it will get completely ridiculous in length, but Barakamon, Berserk, everything by Shinichiro Watanabe, everything by Satoshi Kon, Texhnolyze, Saikano, Potemayo, Kino's Journey. Fullmetal Alchemist (I like both versions but prefer the earlier, less manga-faithful one.) Now and Then, Here and There. Black Lagoon, K-ON!, Golden Time, Ronja the Robber's Daughter (just watched that recently and it was amazing). A couple of my favourite OVAs are Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal and FLCL, also love both Gunbusters, technically Dragon Half is a cut-short TV series rather than an OVA but regardless that's some damn good anime comedy :) Various Cartoon Network cartoons. Futurama, Carnivale, Pushing Daisies, Firefly, Buffy, Angel. Love fluffily comforting live-action hollywood fare such as In & Out, Josie and the Pussycats, The Naked Gun, 10 Things I Hate About You, Clueless, Housesitter. Very fond of various Disney films. Lots and lots of music (a little bit more specific? I go to Electric Six's Brighton gig at the Concorde 2 every December and have met Dick Valentine twice, am extremely fond of Hot Chip, I enjoy a bit of metal but am not really into it, I worship Alex Kapranos as a minor deity and also listen to complete shite like It's Chico Time when the mood strikes me. I'm eagerly waiting for Grimes' latest album to come out as a physical CD (now I've listened to it on Spotify I'm even more enthused!) I also love me some good stoner/desert rock like QOTSA and Kyuss and so on, and a bit of grunge. Currently listening to an endless parade of 80s and 90s hits on youtube (Did you know that we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time and that we're never gonna survive if we don't get a little crazy? And I fight like me dad as well). I enjoy all sorts of stuff, if you're interested feel free to ask. I may or may not send you a link to the Rigga-Ding-Dong-Song in response :P). Spaghetti Carbonara. Sausages. Chocolate milkshakes. Hot chocolate. Cucumbers, grapes, bananas. Tea is great. Coffee is also great. I dislike spices and refuse to try snails. (But French cuisine is mostly great apart from that. Chocolate croissants <3).
My Rights (and everyone else's)
A wank every now and then (seriously when I don't do it for a while I get more stressed and my self esteem decreases, partnered sex is also good but less essential in my personal estimation).
Lube - Seriously sex would suck without it.
Friends/Family - and more generally, love.
Computer and internet
A washing machine (washing clothes by hand is bad for your back and takes ages).
Baby wipes (really handy for all sorts of stuff)
Those extra strong Strepsils that contain an anesthetic for your throat
The really basic stuff like water and oxygen and so on.
Whether it is better to be up and down in mood or balanced but not experiencing highs or lows.
Did I lock the front door/turn the oven off/other such basic life management tasks and whether I did them or not.
Could I earn a living offering a service where fledgling bands/musical groups pay me to think of an awesome name for them?
All the horrible things going on in the world and how sad it all is.
A hilarious picture of my best friend that makes me crack up every time.
Whether it would be better to know you were going to die on your 80th birthday in perfect health or live a normal mortal life.
If my friends are OK.
Being physically intimate with someone I love.
How much I love the sun and how much it would suck if it disappeared.
A party by myself
A me party!
I don't need nobody else.
I'm having a me party!
I'm the first and last to show!
There's no one at this party
That I don't already know!
2. Worshipping in Hozier's Pagan Church of Gay.
3. Soberly trying to convince drunk strangers that my best friend once slept with a Power Ranger and wrestled a bear, but that's usually on other nights of the week.
4. Relaxing in front of the TV/computer.
5. Cooking sausages at gas mark 6 and feeling like a badass as tiny drips of hot oil spit up on me and I just keep swimming, by which I mean cooking. It's a metaphor, y'see. I don't actually swim in boiling oil, or in my frying pan. What do you call it when a really hot poet says their heart shattered when they were broken up with? A depressing and cliched metaphwoar. I may also sometimes be found making up bad puns. I mean really bad puns. Like that one I just made. I mean, even I'm shocked by how bad a pun that is.
More "seriously" I have ADHD and I'm on the autistic spectrum, these things don't define who I am but if you want to associate with me you have to accept them.
If you're looking for queer friends, or friends in general :)
If you're into anime and manga, but agree that the way it portrays female characters is usually pretty messed up what with how they're pretty much all thin and really young looking, and generally dislike shows that pander heavily to male otaku (also I'm not a big fan of Gen Urobuchi, so if you're a total fanboy for his stuff and are going to try to convert me then just give up now.) Non-pervy anime fans of all genders welcome!
If you like music, but are more concerned with enjoying it than with judging others for their tastes.
If you want to go out to a nice cheap restaurant/cafe and have a meal or hang out at the library in Brighton.
If you'd like to go to a reasonably cheap Brighton gig.
If you want to discuss Carnivale with me.
If you would like to watch some absolutely terrible and/or utterly fantastic movies and make fun of them/sing their praises while eating tasty snacks. (Tea provided free of charge and if you want sugar I'll put it in while the water's really hot and stir it so it doesn't form that icky hypersweet goo at the bottom of the mug).
Would be cool:
You believe in unicorns and fairies/nature spirits a teeny little bit (not a lot, just a bit). Or appreciate them as metaphors for the natural world and it's rebirth.
In the unlikely but awesome eventuality that:
You are not human but can still type - I'll be well impressed and promise not to reveal your secret to the media.
Don't message me if:
DO NOT MESSAGE ME if you are any of the following: anti-abortion, anti-choice (and I mean the choice of the person who is actually pregnant, if you believe that the person who only contributed a sperm should be able to veto the decision of the person who is actually pregnant with the fetus about whether to have an abortion or not, then fuck off and take your misogynistic bullshit with you, yes a pregnancy results from two people but the one who is actually pregnant is the one doing 99% of the work and taking on all the risks to their health and life, the other one just has an orgasm, they don't have to worry about getting diabetes or a torn clitoris or the agony of childbirth or throwing up every morning), pro-death penalty, pro-torture, anti-welfare, anti-socialized healthcare, anti-feminist, anti-womanist, transphobic, homophobic, fat-phobic, pro-censorship, rape apologist, victim blaming, racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic (yes it is a religion and religion has a lot to answer for but mindless demonization of all Muslims is entirely unwelcome within my friendship/romantic/sexual partner circle), sexist or ableist (if you think people with low IQs shouldn't reproduce then fuck off Nazi), anti-immigrant/anti-immigrants who are here illegally but are not a threat to anyone's human rights or safety, a tory, a UKIP supporter, right wing. I will at best ignore you and at worst give you a right verbal bollocking.
Don't message me if you are going to just send short monosyllabic messages. I want a proper conversation.
Don't message me if you're going to ask me what I do for a living/what my job is. A lot of people ask me this and it clearly states in my profile that I don't have a job. There are valid reasons for this, several in fact, but I'm not going to explain them to you on demand and I dislike going through these motions as a way of making conversation. There are more interesting things to talk about than the job I don't have.
Don't message me if you're going to ask me if I'll talk to you on this or that other messaging app or site when we've only just started talking. I don't have a smartphone and I have chosen to set up this profile because this site is my preferred method of communication until I have actually gotten to know someone well enough to want to share other parts of my online life with them, which will probably take months in most cases.
Don't message me if you're expecting kinky sex, I have no interest in anything kinky and also don't want to give or receive anything involving arses. To each their own, but I'm vanilla, and do not enjoy teh buttsecks.
Don't message me if you are going to send me pictures of yourself naked or ask to have any kind of online or offline sex or ask me if I'm horny, etc. when I haven't asked for them/that and we've only just met. If your first message is sexual in nature I will ignore it or possibly tell you off for being a prick before blocking you. If you send me anything really inappropriate or nasty I will report you to OKCupid for harassment.
Don't message me if you don't live nearby, unless you are looking for a purely platonic penpal friendship. I really do not want a long distance relationship and have zero interest in cybersex.