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26 Brighton, UK Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism but it’s not important
Doesn’t want kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Quote from my best friend "The only thing bigger than your tits is your heart." I try to live up to that as best I can.

Hi everyone ^^ I am bi/pansexual, femme-ish but not really into the gender binary all that much, I'm fat and I like my food (but I eat fairly moderately), I make no apologies for who I am or my body and I'm very into body-positive, fat-positive and size-positive politics (if I were a country singer, I'd be called Fingerlickin' Big Bessie Smalls :D). Like anyone, I find some people more physically attractive than others, but I don't believe that how I feel about someone's appearance is relevant in any context other than "do I want to have sex with them or not", I don't believe you should ever judge a person's character based on their body or say unkind things about the way people look, and I think there are a vast number of things in this world more important than being eternally young, thin, beautiful and generally porn star/model-like in appearance/body, being pretty doesn't cure cancer or write a heartfelt intelligent novel or raise children or build houses. I believe in the power of love, friendship, fun, baby animals, rainbows, icecream, cheese toasties and cthulhu. I like the rain but not when it's really cold (not a fan of pneumonia*).

I am a sex-positive liberal/heavily socialist leaning feminist and am strongly opposed to censorship. The most important part of my politics is that everyone has a right to ownership of their body, and I consider the rights, including autonomy as well as protection, of children to be very important (but not in a "won't somebody please think of the children?" kind of way, I don't agree with banning porn because kids might see it, don't agree with editing old children's cartoons for stereotyping/cigarettes/etc.). I am an atheist and not religious (though I do have something of a spiritual side, but it's not a major part of my life, just something that I don't close myself off from, as I simply cannot personally conceptualize all my experiences in purely "material" terms, even though I have a basic understanding of the science involved, it's kind of like how the placebo effect can be so powerful that some people can have a headache and take a sugar pill and know it's a sugar pill and then it can still relieve the pain, if that makes sense?). I like animation and comics from around the world, including, as my name would indicate; Cardcaptor Sakura, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Fullmetal Alchemist. I love reading dearly, I game a fair bit (I recently got really into it via indie games for Mac on Steam's summer sale and I also have PS3 and PS2 consoles and a handful of games for both), I like to cook and am a total music addict. I have a passion for writing and enjoy doing visual art every now and then (I particularly enjoy working with glitter glue, because sparkles). I don't drink, smoke or take drugs but have no problem with those who do.

I'm looking to make emotional connections with people, I'm not interested in "meet-shag-leave" type arrangements. Basically I want someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright. I am hoping to have a long term relationship, whether polyamorous, open or monogamous and settle down eventually (though I remain unconvinced that marriage is something I really want to do), but I'm open to forming close friendships which involve sexual intimacy without a romantic element as well, as long as we like, love and trust each other. The healthiest long term sexual relationship I have had thus far has been of this type, so it is possible to make work in my experience. I have been in a polyamorous relationship before and there were a lot of things I loved about that as well, so it is not purely theoretical for me. I currently have a close friend who I have sex with every now and then, and I'm not really very keen to give a good thing up, so if you're strongly invested in being completely monogamous, then don't message me unless you live locally so we can see each other regularly. I'm only interested in having any kind of relationship if I really think it's worth it, I'm not desperately looking for someone to take away my loneliness (I have friends!) or have shitty unsatisfying sex with. Just 'cause I'm a fat chick doesn't mean I don't have standards so if you're not going to stay in regular contact and actually show up when we arrange to meet, are selfish in bed, have nothing interesting to say or are just looking for a hole to ejaculate into please kindly fuck off.

My motto in life is "The best laid plans can end in talking to people on social media about what you are planning to do and then were planning to do but didn't and/or watching videos of cats behaving in a manner befitting their species."

*though I do think that Diphtheria's second album is really underrated.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
It varies. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I have mental health issues and struggle quite a bit with everyday life, my default activities are watching movies/TV shows (mostly animated) and chatting to friends online, but things I do do when I am feeling more able are, as partially noted above, writing (I love to write - fiction, poetry and songs), drawing, reading (mostly manga and the odd other comic or novel), cooking, video gaming. I live in my own supported accommodation flat, I'm unemployed and I'm not a student, though I am currently looking into taking either a Japanese course or a creative writing course. I would like to do volunteer work again. When I remember how awesome it is and actually get out of the house I enjoy going to the beach, but it's much better if one brings a large soft comfy thing to sit on.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing (though not necessarily writing dating website profiles). I'm a good whistler. From what I can tell, drawing and singing (though I could certainly stand to improve at both). My maths skills are sadly out of use but I am one of those extremely geeky people who used to have favourite sums and number patterns as a child. I have yet to master a second language (haven't found the time/focus to study until recently), but I've always been good with them, and noticing connections between words and etymology and that sort of thing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not completely sure, but here are a few things people have told me they noticed about me:

That I have beautiful eyes.
That I have beautiful eyelashes (my mum told me that the last time I was feeling insecure about my body, she said the doctor commented on it at one of my early checkups and everything, so it is deffo a thing).
That I have huge... tracts of land. Srsly though I do have noticeably big tits.
My hair (either that it's long, that it's pretty or that it sometimes hasn't been washed in over a week).
That I have nice legs (ok, that was one guy, but I do seem to get a lot of positive attention when I wear short skirts).
That I talk fast
That my bras don't fit (I do wear one at a time, I just have more than one that doesn't fit... I don't have anything against people who wear more than one bra at a time).
That I seem intelligent
That my T-shirts are cool (and usually have at least one small food stain on them, this also applies to my clothes more generally).
That I'm fat (nice when someone's cool with it, not nice when they start telling me I should be losing weight even though dieting causes me to develop eating disordered/body dysmorphic thought patterns that are very distressing for me).
That I have lots of DVDs and comics (in the form of collected book editions, I don't want to deal with the flimsiness of trades, also this is generally something people notice when they see my room, I don't usually walk around with a sizable library on my person).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
OK, I know this section is really long, but this is genuinely important to me, not in the sense that you have to share all of my tastes, just that I'm rather passionate about art.

Books: The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and I own and love the entire radio series), I recently read the first Hunger Games novel and a prose retelling of The Iliad called The Song of Achilles and I really enjoyed both, lots of manga (manga series I've completed are Antique Bakery, The Key to the Kingdom, Kiichi and the Magic Books, King of Thorn, Moon Child, The Heart of Thomas, Twin Spica, Banana Fish, there are loads of other manga I really like as well, in particular Tegami Bachi, Loveless and Psyren, I was really into Blade of the Immortal until that ghastly bit of anti-choice bollocks in volume 19 that put me right off) and other comics. I'm currently reading the Spice and Wolf novel series and am utterly in love with the world and characters, I wish more light novel series were this good! I'm also really enjoying Hiromu Arakawa's retelling of The Heroic Legend of Arslan, can't wait for the next volume to come out, and I am gripped by A Silent Voice. Peter Pan is amazing. I haven't read that many Discworld novels but of the ones I have my favourites are Guards! Guards! and Mort. I tend to make it through at least two (unabridged) audiobooks per house move/packing to go on a big trip and my favourite thus far is Anansi Boys as read by Lenny Henry, both the book and his narration are fantastic. Also, for the record, not a fan of any of the following: Twilight, The Da Vinci Code, LOTR (though the movies are decent and I think The Hobbit is a really good book), 50 Shades of Gray (Gilbert Gottfried LOL), not a big fan of Harry Potter but don't dislike it as much as the others.

Movies: Waaay too many to list. A few that come to mind are Aladdin, The Jungle Book, The Naked Gun, Kiki's Delivery Service (the animated Miyazaki one, but the live-action film actually looks pretty cool from the trailer and I'd like to see it), The Secret of Kells (can't wait to see Song of the Sea!), Princess Arete, Akira, Vampire Hunter D (these two films are, to my mind, the best of the 80s action-sci-fi-horror-with-shockingly-graphic-violence anime subgenre, and the former is one of the most visually arresting films I've ever seen, the latter is lower budget but there's blood, sweat and grit in every dark, creepy, grimy frame), Rise of the Guardians (The Book of Life also has a significant chance of being added to this list after further viewings, Guillermo Del Toro seems to be very good at producing animated films), Singin' in the Rain, Pump Up the Volume, Tokyo Godfathers, Perfect Blue (I said I wouldn't put more than one film by any one director at one point, but fuck it, Satoshi Kon is god), The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Bear, Kirikou and the Sorceress and Angel's Egg. Also really into Picnic at Hanging Rock and Being There. Orphee is pretty bitchin'. I enjoy a good chick flick every now and then, and I mostly prefer my films more cerebral, beautiful and musical than action packed. I'm on the "love" side of the Baz Luhrmann marmite war and am very fond of some of the better 80s fantasy flicks from back before everything was made of pixels, such as The Neverending Story and The Dark Crystal (and the first Highlander, but I think that's more of an enjoyable piece of trashy cheese, or cheesy trash... the point I'm trying to make is that it's a dairy product that one would find in the world's most pleasantly nostalgic rubbish bin). I'm pretty impressed by Frank Oz as he's directed three of my favourite films - Little Shop of Horrors, Housesitter and In & Out. Plus all the Muppet stuff. I recently watched Mind Game by Masaaki Yuasa and it's one of the few films I've seen that ever really inspired me. Also Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart. And I think M Dot Strange's films are really creative (I've seen the first two), check them out on youtube. I hold the slightly controversial opinion that both sequels to The Lion King are worth watching many times, and I adore everything by Pixar that I've seen apart from Cars and A Bug's Life, which are their most overly commercial and least narratively interesting films respectively. I really enjoy watching animated short films when they have an interesting story (like those that adapt classic literature), I'm into Eastern European animation, stuff like the works of Soyuzmultfilm and Yuri Norstein and I will never get sick of watching Johnny Corncob with a 70s porn mustache and bell bottoms in Janos Vitez (that film is kind of like a Hungarian artistic equivalent of Yellow Submarine, from around the same time). Did you know there's a Russian animated version of Winnie the Pooh and a Ukranian animated version of Horton Hears a Who? Well now you do (unless you knew already, in which case you either still know or have now forgotten). Here are trailers for a couple of the feature films I most want to see:

Also, I think Frozen is a damn good movie that holds up to repeat viewings, even if it is only at most VERY loosely inspired by The Snow Queen, and even if the ridiculous overplaying of "Let It Go" has kind of ruined the fun a bit. As for favourite actors, Jamie Lee Curtis was my first girl crush and I still love her, and Alan Cumming is a great guy (with a hilarious name). The last more artsy live-action film I saw was The Double (on DVD, not in cinemas) and I was pretty impressed. I must congratulate Richard Ayoade for effectively utilizing Jesse Eisenberg. Relatedly, Adventureland proves that Kristen Stewart can be used for good as well as evil. And while we're doing this whole 6 degrees thing, I prefer Paul to what I've seen of the Three Colours Cornetto/Blood and Icecream trilogy, but Spaced was awesome. I bet Kevin Bacon feels really spaced out sometimes. And likes icecream. And has blood. But then again, I don't want to make assumptions. He could prefer tiramisu. And have YOU ever seen him bleed? (I hope not. If you have that would probably be quite concerning.)

TV - Azumanga Daioh, Serial Experiments Lain, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Kino's Journey, Now and Then, Here and There (I particularly appreciate how uncommercialized this series is relative to other anime, it really does seem to be overwhelmingly about the story rather than the merchandizing opportunities even compared to many if not most of the other anime that I'd class as art rather than just a glorified commercial for dakimakura, and it doesn't sexualize any of it's characters at all), Paranoia Agent, Steins;Gate, Berserk, Nodame Cantabile (I can't believe I almost left that off the list), Texhnolyze and Princess Tutu (vastly better than the name might suggest to the more cynical and curmudgeonly people reading this) are all shows that I am super into (though I've only seen some of them once, must rectify that). Masaaki Yuasa and Shinichiro Watanabe's directorial works are excellent. My favourite recent anime that I've actually finished are Golden Time, Barakamon, A Lull in the Sea and Punch Line, and I'm enjoying Kill la Kill and Space Dandy a lot (partway through each). Natsume's Book of Friends is the other anime that instantly comes to mind as something I love deeply, Nyanko-sensei is the best drunken grumpy old man kitty evar. I'm also into some classic stuff like Mitsuru Adachi's Touch, The Rose of Versailles and Dear Brother, and Future Boy Conan is on my must see list. My favourite non-anime TV shows are Carnivale, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Pushing Daisies (I seem to fall in love with good shows that got cancelled before their time, next on the list to watch are Deadwood and John from Cincinnati), Father Ted, Dad's Army, Smash, and I also love Futurama and The Simpsons before Season 11 when it started to suck. I enjoy various Cartoon Network shows past and present, and am a fan of Genndy Tartakovsky and Craig McCracken in particular. I find the sheer volume of cool stuff produced that originated with someone who worked on Adventure Time to be as impressively awesome as the show itself. One of my minor goals in life is to get around to watching all of Quantum Leap and Xena Warrior Princess, as those are my kind of heroes, and the kind of good that TV did well before the default mode of the best shows became "let's do it like they do on the HBO channel". And one day, one fine, glorious day, I shall complete my viewing of Farscape. I don't watch much in the way of online series but I tend to enjoy The Nostalgia Chick and Critic, and I find this completely hilarious:

Music: Two of my favourite songs are The Village People's version of Macho Man and Love Shack by The B-52s (I would love to meet someone who makes me feel like that song!) I love Electric Six (I see them play in Brighton every year, about the only time I can be bothered to go to a gig because it's fun rather than just beautiful, I have met Dick Valentine at his solo shows twice and he kissed my forehead! I didn't wash it for a while afterwards :P) I have a great fondness for Mika (I like the generally positive messages of his songs, his body positive attitude and the lack of oversexualisation in his videos). Opeth and Janelle Monae are my babes. I like all sorts of stuff including some complete rubbish that just happens to cheer me up or be catchy, and some really weird desolate shit like Xasthur. The bands that sparked my love of good music in my teens are The Beatles, Nirvana and R.E.M, and bands that have stayed with me since I was a teenager are Hot Chip, Franz Ferdinand, Muse, and Queens of the Stone Age (along with Mark Lanegan, I haven't heard anywhere near all of his stuff but one day I will). Foals' first album and the singles Hummer and Mathletics are heaven to me. Of late I've been searching through Jamendo to see what diamonds I can find amongst all all the amateurish shit and pretentiously unenjoyable cacophonous mewling cat "experimental" stuff. I'm all for experimental but not when it's headache-inducing anti-music. There are some damn good albums on that site and it's a good place to find instrumental music.

Food: Most things, eat a lot of fruit and veggies, fancy soup, also enjoy things like spaghetti and meatballs with tomato sauce, sausages with instant noodles and fried onions, a nice creamy carbonara with bacon lardons is a lovely treat, good sandwiches, buttered toast with jam or honey, mashed potato with campbell's mushroom sauce (childhood favourite), sushi's nice but I don't have it often because it's so pricey, I love icecream when the weather's hot (and also when it's cold. Icecream's awesome.) I can also appreciate a good cake, cheesecake, trifle, chocolate and so on but I don't have much sweet stuff for a mixture of health reasons, not wanting to be too psychologically dependent on sugar, because sometimes it's unexpectedly sickly, and because I feel like it interferes with me being able to fully appreciate and enjoy other food/ruins my appetite sometimes. Don't like spicy foods or anything containing snails or other related animals though.

Games: I recently finished and loved Bastion, games I'll get back to playing after my current reading kick is over because I really like them are: Botanicula, Superbrothers: Sword and Sworcery EP, Trine, Nihilumbra, The Night of the Rabbit, FFXII, Ico (I also have Shadow of the Colossus), and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I also can't wait to play The Last of Us now I have a PS3 as I watched someone else play it for an hour or two a couple of years ago and really got sucked into the characters and story.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Here's a list of things I would really struggle to do without:

My Rights (and everyone else's)
My body
A wank every now and then (seriously when I don't do it for a while I get more stressed and my self esteem decreases, partnered sex is also good but less essential in my personal estimation).
Friends/Family - and more generally, love.
Good food
Sweet, milky, fancy chocolate coffee, truly it is the nectar of the gods
Computer and internet
A shower
Baby wipes (really handy for all sorts of stuff)
Those extra strong Strepsils that contain an anesthetic for your throat
The really basic stuff like water and oxygen and so on.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
(in no particular order)

Silly band names
People I love
How to make the world a better place
Will I ever manage to work through my DVD/book backlog?
What if Janelle Monae and Opeth collaborated on an album? Would it be awesome or would it be the auditory equivalent of tuna fish with peanut butter or some other similarly repellent combination? I mostly think about this because it's a good way of explaining some of the weirder anime I've seen to people.
OK so coffee is clearly Batman but which superhero is tea? Is fruit tea a different superhero? I guess milkshakes are Supercow (not a big fan of the show as a whole though).
If chickens were made out of mixed nuts, would that mean that vegetarians couldn't eat mixed nuts anymore?
Under the question "if a woman burps out loud, that is:" why isn't one of the answer choices "utterly hilarious"?
If we live in a multiverse does that mean that every time I make a good decision a me in another universe makes the opposite, shitty decision? I feel really bad for all those other mes sometimes.

I spend a lot of time composing songs in my head as well :)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Having a me party!
A party by myself
A me party!
I don't need nobody else.

I'm having a me party!
I'm the first and last to show!
There's no one at this party
That I don't already know!

Really though, mostly in my room, wearing a dressing gown or a panda onesie (or nothing), watching DVDs or on the internet. I do go out on other nights of the week though, but to social and youth groups rather than clubs, pubs or bars (I will go to them, but I like to talk, so not being able to hear the words of the people I'm spending time with is offputting).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think I've been pretty open about everything already... oh, alright, when I was a kid, I stuck a baby tooth of mine that had recently come out in my ear and had to go to A & E. I was upset that I had to miss Buffy in order to get it removed. It didn't actually hurt that much, but it's probably for the best that they took it out ;)

More "seriously" I have ADHD and I'm on the autistic spectrum, these things don't define who I am but if you want to associate with me you have to accept them.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I don't believe it's really a matter of "should", but:

If you want to message me, it is mandatory that:

You have read and understood my entire profile and at least done a check of the unacceptable answers list of questions to make sure that there isn't something majorly important to me that we disagree about

You support abortion rights including the right to abort an accidental pregancy that occurred as a result of consensual sex, and understand and accept that I do not want children, ever, and will have an abortion if I become pregnant as a result of sexual activity between us.

You are anti death-penalty and anti-torture under all circumstances.

You are pro-welfare and in favour of socialized healthcare and free public education for all up to and including university level

You are not an anti-feminist or anti-womanist

You are in favour of equality for everyone, and support laws meant to prevent discrimination in employment, housing, education, healthcare and in general

You are fully supportive of the rights of trans people to freedom from violence, harassment and discrimination, and consider the "trans panic" defense to be a reprehensible attempt to justify horrific violence and murder motivated by hatred and bigotry.

You support the right of same sex and/or gender couples to marry and have children

You are opposed to censorship

You are not a rape apologist or victim-blamer

You are opposed to racism and xenophobia and opposed to the bigoted anti-muslim and anti-immigrant crap that the right wing media spew

You view disabled people as human beings and recognize that their continued existence is just as important for the creation of a better world as that of ablebodied/minded people. (which includes NOT believing that the world would be a better place if people with low IQ's didn't reproduce).

You are supportive of fat positivity and recognize that a person's health is A) their own goddamn business and B) a complicated thing that looks different for different people.

You are generally left wing and not a tory/ukip supporter.

You have more to say than just "hi/hey/how are you?" and other generic things like that

Probably preferable:

That we actually have some interests and favourites in common, you don't have to like everything that I do either in terms of hobbies or specific titles, but if you're a really outdoorsy person or your only interests are watching sports and hanging out with your mates at the pub or reality TV and celebrity gossip, I doubt it's going to work.

Would be cool:

You believe in unicorns and fairies/nature spirits a teeny little bit (not a lot, just a bit). Or appreciate them as metaphors for the natural world and it's rebirth.

In the unlikely but awesome eventuality that:

You are not human but can still type - I'll be well impressed and promise not to reveal your secret to the media.

Don't message me if:

Don't message me if you're going to ask me what I do for a living/what my job is. A lot of people ask me this and it clearly states in my profile that I don't have a job. There are valid reasons for this, several in fact, but I'm not going to explain them to you on demand and I dislike going through these motions as a way of making conversation. There are more interesting things to talk about than the job I don't have.

Don't message me if you're going to ask me if I'll talk to you on this or that other messaging app or site when we've only just started talking. I don't have a smartphone and I have chosen to set up this profile because this site is my preferred method of communication until I have actually gotten to know someone well enough to want to share other parts of my online life with them, which will probably take months in most cases.

Don't message me if you're expecting kinky sex, I'm not completely closed off to kinky stuff but I've been fairly vanilla up to this point and if you aren't capable of enjoying vanilla sex I don't think we're compatible. I mean, sure we can make friends, but don't message me thinking I will be the woman who fulfills all your BDSM fantasies because I'm really not sure I'm up for that.

Don't message me if you are going to send me pictures of yourself naked or ask to have any kind of online or offline sex or ask me if I'm horny, etc. when I haven't asked for them/that and we've only just met. If your first message is sexual in nature I will ignore it or possibly tell you off for being a prick before blocking you. If you send me anything really inappropriate or nasty I will report you to OKCupid for harassment.