SaltineMonkey
30 Antioch, TN
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SaltineMonkey
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My self-summary
Come on guys, smile in at least one picture! You're so much more handsome when you're smiling!

I'm a quirky, semi-creative goof ball who is very uniquely individual (and doesn't get online every single day so forgive me!). I have a huge love for clowns, art, music, fun, haunted houses, and creativity in general.

I want to be someone's homie lover friend...not just another sex doll. Kinda would love to find a mature man who's looking for more than just a sexual partner. However, I do tend to flirt pretty hardcore when it feels right...

Patience, honesty, loyalty, trust, and respect...that's what will keep my attention the most.

I love polka dots.
What I’m doing with my life
Eating healthier, drinking more water, getting more active a little at a time. It's a process; I don't want to lose too much weight too fast, but I am trimming. Lost 65 lbs so far, and not planning on stopping there!

I have an Associate's degree in Graphic Design and Animation -- always pursuing that with high hopes.

Working in Haunted Hell Nashville. I want to take some wood shop and wood working classes so I can mainly help the haunt build into a bigger, badder, more blood-curdling Hell. Those skills will come in handy in other aspects of life, as well.

Wanted to be a clown since I was 8 years old, and a mascot since I knew what they were...always looking for at least a taste of that. Learning new skills in that arena, as well.

Drawing a street-performing clown in Cali for cash, and looking forward to more projects with her. I've waited 22 years for a chance like this, and it's one of the most exciting things I've ever done with my talents...

Also marketing a book by Ripper the Clown, entitled "The Life & Mimes (& Zombie Apocalypse) of Ripper the Clown: The Autobiography of An Unconventional Zombie" which has become my new favorite! It has a time travelling sequel out now, which I'm equally as excited to read!

Looking for a mature man who can get goofy with the rest of us.
I’m really good at
Making people feel welcome and most often laugh, understanding what I do and do not like, finding art in the mundane, playing billiards, empathy, swimming, many board and video games, learning how to paint, typing a LOT, 3D animation, coming up with ideas....and apparently I've been called an "out of control genius" when it comes to some of my pictures.......
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, my smile and my eyes. Otherwise, it's pretty easy to see that I'm crazy, in a good way....most call it weird. I like it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Ripper the Clown's "The Life & Mimes (& Zombie Apocalypse) of Ripper the Clown: The Autobiography of An Unconventional Zombie", R.L. Stein's Fear Street series, Scott Ciencin's Vampire Oddysey trilogy, Stephen King, Anne Rice's vampire novels, J.K. Rowling, H.P. Lovecraft, Laurell K. Hamilton, Shel Silverstein, Bryan Smith (for his book "Freakshow" omg!), Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Dickenson, random joke books, and pretty much anything with poetry or comedy or near-Gothic themes (horror, vampires, good clowns, evil klowns, semi/super-morbid, "strange and unusual").

Movies: Comedy, Horror, Horror-Comedy, and a little Action/Suspense/Sci-Fi.
A few favorite films: Saw, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Narnia, Ghost World, Fear of Clowns, Tamera, Stay Alive, The Crow, Coyote Ugly, Burlesque, Stitches, Thirteen, Chicago, Moulin Rouge, Kill Bill, 50 First Dates, Lost Boys, Insatiable, Hugo, Blood & Donuts, Dead & Breakfast, Shaun of the Dead, Dr. Dolittle, Thirteen Ghosts, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Puppetmaster, Fido, Miss Congeniality, Drive-Thru, Matrix, Legally Blonde, Killjoy, IT, Ever After, The Notebook, Blade, The Wiz, We All Scream For Ice Cream.....

Shows: Who's Line Is It Anyway?, Dinosaurs, Indy Rock Block (Channel 9, Nashville local music videos, usually around 12 am - 3 am), America's Next Top Model, AFV, America's Got Talent, Dancing With The Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race, Bate's Motel, Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, 1000 Ways to Die, Ren & Stimpy, Weeds, Hack My Life, How It's Made, Halloween Wars, HELLEVATOR, Rocko's Modern Life, EXIT, Oddities, those pawn shop and storage unit shows, old shows like I Love Lucy, Who's The Boss, Three's Company, The Munsters, The Addams Family.........

Music: Anything from AWOL Nation to Flyleaf to Nightwish to ZZ Top, and everything in between.....except for most nasal-twangy country and gangsta rap. Including, but not limited to: rock, metal, opera, disco, techno, oldies, classical, jazz...but my FAVORITES are metal, dubstep, rock, metallic opera, and indie rock. I could name dozens of bands here, or you could ask. ;D

Food: That's funny.............................................jk, Mexican food is pretty good, and always fun! Italian is a pretty good winner. I love a good steak, and tilapia on rice...biscuits and gravy for breakfast, roasted salmon, and honey nut pancakes...southern fried white fish...baby spinach...rainbow trout.....brussel sprouts (fixed specifically or they're gross)...some of my favorite foods.
The six things I could never do without
Honesty
Music
Humor
Creativity
Sustenance
Air
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...things that are usually too deep for the average person...
...clowns...
...people...
...Halloween...
...why black guys still gravitate towards me, even when I say I'm not into them...
...haunted houses...
...friends...
...things I could have said in random situations...
...new pictures to draw/paint...
...how I'm probably too open about myself...
...miscellaneous....
On a typical Friday night I am
not sure what's gonna happen next, and probably loving it.
That is, unless it's in late September or all of October, or another special event at Haunted Hell Nashville (We're opening the 12th and 13th for Valentine's Day weekend), then I am usually either getting ready to pounce at people, scaring the daylights out of people, or taking a breather from scaring people. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like goofing off when I wash my hair, and whip my lathered up locks into that ice cream swirly deal on top of my head...one time, I thought of getting a red spongey dealy (the thing you put body wash on LOL) and topping my head with that for a picture. Hehehe....

There are also some pretty intimate things explained in my questions...
I'm pretty much an open book with very few limits.
You should message me if
...you like big girls first of all (because if you don't, you won't like me and need to just move on, cuz I don't have time for immature hate messages); you're not afraid of clowns (and even more so if you actually LIKE them); you're at least okay with the goth scene and won't disrespect it to me or behind my back; you are tall with long hair / a deep voice / dimples (because that's some kind of super sexy bonus to me); you like awesome people; you think we would get along even a little bit; AND/OR you have more substance to who you are than just messaging people for nothing but sex.
Oh, and if you actually read through all of my profile and still want to chat...
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