I'm British and Canadian, so I can stammer like Hugh Grant but I can't be deported.
Considerate enough to return the cart to the corral, whimsical enough to ride it there.
I can't touch a garbage can or anything in public transportation without immediately washing my hands or using Purell. I cringe when someone sneezes on a plane and imagine all the germs being distributed to everyone else. If someone throws a cig butt out of their car window, I envision my car exploding from a spark that gets in my engine.
I am storm bait. Every time I visit Belize, it is assaulted by a hurricane. Curious as to whether I'll attract a meteor impact if I remain on this planet long enough.
I won my provinces geography bee three years in a row in elementary school. People tell me I have direction. People also tell me I use bad puns.
Sometimes I look at a girl's make-up and wonder if she was part of the kids that coloured outside of the lines back in kindergarten.
I love travel and perspective shifts. I also frequently fall down Wikipedia rabbit-holes. This sometimes results in me shouting about bacteriophages at parties till I am slapped in the face, but such incidents are best forgotten or overlooked.
I can't eat papaya without thinking I'm chewing barf. I avoid eating animals because they dislike being eaten. I also do not begin every sentence with the first-person singular pronoun in live interactions with other human beings.