I'm a professional expert-on-everything -- seriously -- with as many years of postgraduate education as in grades 1-12. I'm currently in my 50th year as a nerd. There is a position named after me. (Really. Probably not what you're thinking, though.) I've written jokes for a living, though not successfully. I'm as comfortable in a black evening dress at the Kennedy Center as in steel-boned corset bloomers at the Opp, Alabama Rattlesnake Rodeo. I'm a polymath, an autodidact, a sapiosexual, and an ENTP. Professor Forer's personality analysis fits me to a T!
I am neither obsequious, purple, nor clairvoyant. I have tattoos, but, again, it's probably not what you're thinking. My name means "When the clouds are dark they are filled with thunder beings" in a language I made up.
On the Gefälschter-Maßstab scale – BMI-squared plus age minus IQ minus height-in-centimeters – I score a 325. I'm reasonably attractive for someone with my looks.
I do not use a "fudge factor" with regard to my age or my height or anything else in this profile. I do not lie online. Not anymore. Not since I broke Manti Te'o's heart.