Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Sarcastiholic

34 Bethel Park, PA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 25–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:45am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Craig was born a black child to a lovely Lithuanian couple in the boothills of a Kentucky mountain. He was taught from a young age to talk in the third person. He continues that tradition to this day. He enjoys blowing bubbles and catching fireflies. He started an ant farm, but proved an unsuccessful motivator of ants ("Those fellas didn't grow SQUAT!"). He believes that money can't buy happiness; however, it can buy a jetski. And have you ever seen someone riding a jetski that wasn't happy? He didn't think so.

Wow, I am having waaaaay too much fun with this. If you really want to know anything about me, just message me. I'm an open book.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently in the Professional Lottery Winner industry. But, business hasn't been too good recently, so I'm thinking about getting into the field I majored in at college, Professional Inheritance Recipient.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Setting people up for the "Surely, you can't be serious" joke from Airplane. Sadly, this joke is lost on most of today's unwitting audiences.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The rash. Don't ask me where it is. Just trust me, you'll know it when you see it.

If somehow you're able to miss the rash, I'd say the grotesque hump on my back would be the next thing you'd probably notice.

And if somehow you were able to miss those two freak show-esque maladies, then the third thing you would notice would have to be the ear acne.

Yep. Those would be it.

Oh, and possibly my sense of humor
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Songs I will dance to regardless of whether decorum or tact dictate the time and place to be acceptable: Sam and Dave "Soul Man" and Spencer Davis Group "Gimme Some Lovin'"

Songs that make me smile no matter how bad of a mood I may be in: Lustra "Scotty Doesn't Know" and Timbuk 3 "The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)"

Most influential books in my life by decade of my age:
0-10: Go Dog Go!
11-20: the Cliffs notes for Hamlet
21-30: The Alchemist
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. A heart beat

Hmm... I guess I shouldn't have taken that one so literally. That sort of took the wind out of my sails for all the rest.

Ok, seriously, I'd probably have to say being a smart ass. I totally know when to be appropriate, but even in serious situations, my mind is always in smart ass mode. So if you look over at me and I'm quietly laughing to myself, no need to worry, I just totally made an awesome joke in my head.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Cheese.

I just...I just don't get it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working the corner of Fifth and Liberty Ave. Hey, a girl's gotta earn a buck, right?

Somebody say 'make money money, make money money money!'
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never outgrown the desire to run behind a grocery store shopping cart, jump on the back, and ride it through the parking lot to my car. Yes, I will do this if we begin to date. Yes, you will probably be embarrassed by me doing this, no matter how cool you are.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Ok, so I know I don't reveal much about myself in the provided sections here and it might seem like I'm not serious about this whole dating thing (then again, we are on a site named "okcupid", so why wouldn't I take it seriously? *insert eye roll here*), but I am very sincere about finding my best friend. Here's a list of things that are important to me:

- Sense of humor. Probably the most important trait a partner can have.
- I'm very fitness oriented and live a pretty healthy lifestyle. If exercise and eating well aren't that important to you, I think it would be kind of difficult for us to get along as anything more than friends.
- Along those same lines, I don't smoke or do drugs and don't enjoy being around people who do.
- I love animals.
- I definitely want kids someday.
- I'm not religious in the usual, Judeo-Christian sense of the word. If you're looking for someone to "share your faith" with, I'm probably not the guy for you.
- I'm a pretty laid back guy. I'm most certainly NOT the "life of the party" and don't really to date someone who is. I'm the dude on the side, nodding my head to the beat, making snarky jokes about the douchebags who insist all eyes be on them.

If any of this appeals to you, please feel free to message me.