Craig was born a black child to a lovely Lithuanian couple in the
boothills of a Kentucky mountain. He was taught from a young age to
talk in the third person. He continues that tradition to this day.
He enjoys blowing bubbles and catching fireflies. He started an ant
farm, but proved an unsuccessful motivator of ants ("Those fellas
didn't grow SQUAT!"). He believes that money can't buy happiness;
however, it can buy a jetski. And have you ever seen someone riding
a jetski that wasn't happy? He didn't think so.
Wow, I am having waaaaay too much fun with this. If you really want
to know anything about me, just message me. I'm an open book.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently in the Professional Lottery Winner industry. But,
business hasn't been too good recently, so I'm thinking about
getting into the field I majored in at college, Professional
I’m really good at
Setting people up for the "Surely, you can't be serious" joke from
Airplane. Sadly, this joke is lost on most of today's unwitting
The first things people usually notice about me
The rash. Don't ask me where it is. Just trust me, you'll know it
when you see it.
If somehow you're able to miss the rash, I'd say the grotesque hump
on my back would be the next thing you'd probably notice.
And if somehow you were able to miss those two freak show-esque
maladies, then the third thing you would notice would have to be
the ear acne.
Yep. Those would be it.
Oh, and possibly my sense of humor
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Songs I will dance to regardless of whether decorum or tact dictate
the time and place to be acceptable: Sam and Dave "Soul Man" and
Spencer Davis Group "Gimme Some Lovin'"
Songs that make me smile no matter how bad of a mood I may be in:
Lustra "Scotty Doesn't Know" and Timbuk 3 "The Future's So Bright
(I Gotta Wear Shades)"
Most influential books in my life by decade of my age:
0-10: Go Dog Go!
11-20: the Cliffs notes for Hamlet
21-30: The Alchemist
The six things I could never do without
1. A heart beat
Hmm... I guess I shouldn't have taken that one so literally. That
sort of took the wind out of my sails for all the rest.
Ok, seriously, I'd probably have to say being a smart ass. I
totally know when to be appropriate, but even in serious
situations, my mind is always in smart ass mode. So if you look
over at me and I'm quietly laughing to myself, no need to worry, I
just totally made an awesome joke in my head.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I just...I just don't get it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working the corner of Fifth and Liberty Ave. Hey, a girl's gotta
earn a buck, right?
Somebody say 'make money money, make money money money!'
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've never outgrown the desire to run behind a grocery store
shopping cart, jump on the back, and ride it through the parking
lot to my car. Yes, I will do this if we begin to date. Yes, you
will probably be embarrassed by me doing this, no matter how cool
You should message me if
Ok, so I know I don't reveal much about myself in the provided
sections here and it might seem like I'm not serious about this
whole dating thing (then again, we are on a site named "okcupid",
so why wouldn't I take it seriously? *insert eye roll here*), but I
am very sincere about finding my best friend. Here's a list of
things that are important to me:
- Sense of humor. Probably the most important trait a partner can
- I'm very fitness oriented and live a pretty healthy lifestyle. If
exercise and eating well aren't that important to you, I think it
would be kind of difficult for us to get along as anything more
- Along those same lines, I don't smoke or do drugs and don't enjoy
being around people who do.
- I love animals.
- I definitely want kids someday.
- I'm not religious in the Judeo-Christian sense of the word. If
you're looking for someone to "share your faith" with, I'm probably
not the guy for you.
- I'm a pretty laid back guy. I'm most certainly NOT the "life of
the party" and don't really want to date someone who is. I'm the
dude on the side, nodding my head to the beat, making snarky jokes
about the douchebags who insist all eyes be on them.
If any of this appeals to you, please feel free to message me.