- I completely ignore the high-altitude instructions while baking with no adverse effects.
- Costco pays ME to be a member.
- When I wake up, my bed is already made.
- Infants change their own diapers in my presence.
- My recycling receptacle is twice as big and emptied twice as often as my trash can.
Also, I'm a 98% match, 97% friend, 3% enemy with myself. I've also decided I'm only going to converse with women whose "Enemy" rating is above 90%. Sure I may not find love, but life'll be a helluva lot more entertaining.