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ScannerDorkly

31 M Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 4:40pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

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My self-summary
Well, I'm at that point in the waxing and waning of my interest in online dating where I'm contemplating replacing all my serious answers with snarky-albeit-hilarious responses, all of which feed back into a Lynchian meta-plot involving properly made Sazeracs, Noel Fielding, and a beautiful, educated, demure woman who can kick ass at Street Fighter II and curses like four sailors duct-taped together.

Something something Oxford comma.
What I’m doing with my life
Slowly going insane trying to break into animation and video game voiceover by shoveling money into a blast furnace, apparently.

Wait, not "blast furnace." What do they call them out here? Oh, right..."workshops."

I stave off the encroaching madness with lots of live music, theater, museums, cooking for anyone who'll let me cook for 'em, and a really cool hat.

Ok, I'm lying about the hat.
I’m really good at
Crazy voices. Accents. Cooking. Drinking bourbon. Drinking bourbon while cooking. Scrabble. Drinking bourbon while Scrabble.

That last one wasn't English, but you get the point.

I also like to think I'm good at being a friend. But the kind of friend who will deeply empathize with you while simultaneously making hilarious jokes at your expense...but out of love...ish.
The first things people usually notice about me
The beard. People come up to touch it unbidden. Some say it sings to them in the unfathomable, toneless music of a land they've only visited in the dreams of their former lives. Some say it has always been here...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
ARGH. I tried not to make this an endless litany of names and titles. I tried. I tried to be general and leave some mysteries to my tastes...but nope.

Books: Vonnegut, Bulgakov, Dick, Bellow, Calvino, Eco, Murakami, LeCoq, Artaud, Brook, Barba, Beckett, Fo, Grotowski, Boal...The New Yorker, the New York Review of Books, and BUZZFEED, U GUYS! OMG LOL!

Shows: BBC comedy: The Boosh, Snuff Box, Toast of London, Luxury Comedy, Jam, IT Crowd, Darkplace, The Thick of It, The Young Ones, Black Adder, Python, etc; Animation: Simpsons, Futurama, The Critic, Cowboy Bebop, Evangelion, Rick & Morty, Metalocalypse, and anything H. Jon Benjamin (Archer, Bob's Burgers, etc); Then your usual nerd shows, with some exceptions. Ask me about my vitriolic hate for Joss Whedon!

Movies: Ghost in the Shell, The American Astronaut, The Warriors, Black Dynamite, Young Frankenstein, Airplane, Robocop, Raiders & Last Crusade, Sunshine, Alien(s), Children of Men, The Life Aquatic, the Trilogy of The Kurt: Big Trouble in Little China, Escape From New York, and The Thing, tons more.

Video games: Anything that pushes the boundaries of what interactive storytelling can achieve on an emotional level. Ken Levine, Tim Schafer, Amy Hennig, SuperGiant Games, etc. I stay away from stuff like World of Warcraft and Call of Duty - they're just addiction models with graphics.

Music: Agrimonia, Altar of Plagues, Aesop Rock, Bell Witch, Big Business, Big Star, Bolzer, Busta, Can, Caribou, Castevet, Cult of Luna, The Coup, Culted, De La, David Bowie, Deafheaven, Deltron 3030, Don Cab, Dr. John, Earl Sweatshirt, Earth, Electric Wizard, Enslaved, Eric B. & Rakim, Faith No More, The Fall, Freestyle Fellowship, Gang of Four, Gang Starr, GZA, Ghostface, Godflesh, GY!BE, Godstopper, Gojira, Gravediggaz, Grinderman, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Harvey Milk, Helms Alee, Heltah Skeltah, Horseback, Inter Arma, Isis, The Jesus Lizard, Johnny Cash, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, KEN Mode, Kendrick Lamar, Killer Mike, Kvelertak, Lightning Bolt, Locrian, Lumbar, Massive Attack, Mastodon, McLusky, Melvins, Morphine, Neu! Neurosis, Nick Cave, Om, Oxbow, Pallbearer, Peter Gabriel, Phish (you heard me), Pink Floyd, The Pogues, Public Enemy, QOTSA, Red Fang, Rob Swift, Russian Circles, Rwake, Sannhet, Schoolboy Q, Seidr, Shellac, Sleater-Kinney, Sleep, Slint, Smog, Sonic Youth, Soul Coughing, Stereolab, Sunn 0))), Super Furry Animals, Talking Heads, Television, Thou, Tori Amos, Tribe, Ufomammut, Usnea, Vaura, Vhol, Ween, Wire, The Wu-Tang, Wolves in the Throne Room, X-ecutioners, YOB, Zozobra. For starters.

Food: Yes.
The six things I could never do without
Probably my six conjoined twin brothers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Psht. Thinking is a sucker's game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing things. BIG things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Tell ya what...when we get to the point where this is an appropriate question, you can ask me anything you want and I'll answer truthfully.

THIS...is not that point.
I’m looking for
  • Straight girls only
  • Ages 27–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I get the feeling that if you've read this far, you'll know if you should message me or not.

But choose wisely. For as the true grail will bring you life, the false grail take it from you.

But in the Latin alphabet, Jehovah begins with an 'I!'

We named the DOG Indiana!

Henry! The Pen!

Yup. You'll know.