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Sck_Rse

26 F Islington, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:38pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Retired
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Bulgarian (Fluently)

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My self-summary
update- read this is if you want, don't if you can't be bothered. it's an old long rant. these days i couldn't care less if you do, i was just venting out and this was the outlet. i removed the wall of shame because it's a bit outdated and the messages i receive these days have got way ordinary/not provocative/not unbelievable enough to deserve the time of day and the publicity haha

profile - criminally selfish! stubborn, impulsive, aggressive (even ferocious when the situation calls for it and when it's a matter of slow tourists at king's cross cause i really can't walk slow!), sarcastic, highly irritable, domineering, impatient (that's my biggest virtue), loyal (at least to friends), persevering (actually, enthusiastic at least at the beginning of each new venture), cynical, sceptical, tomboy and all sorts of other, mostly negative adjectives ;P (oh, forgot to add vain. and hypocritical. lol)

pet hates and turn offs: lack of hygiene, body hair, people who don't bother to read my profile in full and then ask me dumb questions i've already expressed my stance on, dullness, people who don't get my sense of humour, text language and ppl dat spk lik dis aaaaaaaaaaaaargh it does my head in so if you're one of those, don't waste your time sending me messages (by the way i know perfectly well how to use grammar and punctuation, i just CHOOSE not to use capital letters!), narrow-mindedness, hopeless romantics and people who are needy or jealous. or weak (unfortunately i tend to predominantly attract weak men, which is very discouraging). saying that, i'm not out to hurt anyone, i don't like causing people pain. but if you're weak and let me walk all over you, i will. not out of maliciousness. just because i can.

on the other hand, i just discovered that really dominant men who go to the other end of the scale, put you down because they're insecure about the other aspects of their life which they feel they don't have control over. i don't need any of those either, thanks

i'm also rather irritated by those people who go to great lengths to explain how it's impossible to describe yourself in this space here. or the ones who just say 'i don't know what to put here'. worse still, blank profiles! you obviously haven't reached the necessary level of intelligence or creativity to be of any interest to me so if you're one of those, move on from this page, like, now...

oh, and i have a phobia about body fat, both my own and other people's. i make an effort to stay in shape (well, some shape anyway) and i appreciate people who do so too
What I’m doing with my life
*i'm a professional pain in the ass. so professional i'm even a pain in my own ass.

*unfortunately i also deserve a prestigious award in the field of procrastination, if there ever was one being handed out. the only award i ever got was a plastic gold medal from an ex in the 'biggest bitch' category

*watching funny viral youtube videos such as:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5PiXt6INSM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIR3XFuY4Qs

http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/11/real-life-puss-in-boots.html

what a mindfuck:

http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/11/dogs-stick-pov.html
I’m really good at
being bad. especially if someone else is picking up the pieces of me after.

doing things exceptionally last minute, my edf bill tends to get paid when the red letters start flagging up

also, writing passive aggressive notes to random strangers i'll never get to meet (such as the prick who parked his vespa perpendicularly to the street, leaving a gaping single yellow line still, while my mate had to literally squeeze his jeep in, so as not to push the vespa. the note read 'SELFISH CUNT'. maybe it was a woman, as the parking was fuckin atrocious). actually, i do wanna meet them and say it to their face!

i'm really good at arriving 'fashionably late'. like, always to anything, i'd probably be late to my own wedding (not that i believe in marriage, just illustrating the point). and funeral

i've recently discovered i'm bloody good at making cakes (i'm really good with asian dishes too though) - i just made the most delectable pecan cheesecake ever (with an even more sinful caramel/cream/pecan sauce), bit smug with myself for that yep

fancy dress - i take it very seriously!

i was gonna say i'm good at pouting...but i'm not so sure that's true. i'm not so sure being good at pouting is good either
The first things people usually notice about me
*the dimensions of my head (and my modesty of course) - it contains a really big brain. that is not necessarily correlative to the number of grey matter cells contained within, since i think my brain is starting to degrade from reading all the stupid shit people send me. god (not that i believe in him anyway) must love stupid people - HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM!

*the fact i tend to be a highly impatient grumpy bitch, particularly when making my way through a busy station - i cannot stand people who are clueless about simple public transport etiquette and wander around like sheep!

*the fact i like to look ridiculous and do awkward things such as pop out to the shops in my baby grow or with my disco-toilet-poop shades on

*that i'm a bit butch and quite the tomboy. i don't really know how to socialise with straight people and particularly girls because i grew up on the gay scene. that may also be due to the fact that I CANNOT STAND GIRLS WHO SCREECH LIKE CHICKENS ON ACID WHEN THEY LAUGH - IT PRODUCES A CHEMICAL REACTION IN MY BRAIN WHICH CAN MAKE ME KILL WITH COLD BLOOD!

*that i'm a tanorexic

*that i always write black felt tip to do lists on the front part of my left hand so i don't forget it. cause i have a chicken brain and forget stuff super quick. the technique actually works pretty well!

*in person i grin a lot. well unless you bore or repulse me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
two words - OSCAR WILDE!
ok, two words ain't enough so:
the picture of dorian gray
the importance of being earnest
the birthday of the infanta
the happy prince
11 minutes (paulo coelho is amazing!)
veronica decides to die (again coelho, though i hate the alchemist and never managed to lift further than the first 6 pages at most)
the time traveler's wife (THE BOOK, the film did nothing for me despite eric bana's hotness)
any thing by allan folsom, the day after tomorrow is one of the best books ever
the notebook (the film, since i haven't read the book)
nevermind the buzzcocks
lolita (i still haven't read the book but i have a massive crush on jeremy irons)
lion king (i cried like a baby, in fact i still do) every time i watched it as a kid, it's the best disney film eveeeeeeer! plus it's got jeremy irons voicing scar)
a clockwork orange (both film and book)
let the right one in (both book and swedish film are amazing)
the client (john grisham)
the shadow of the wind by zafon. it's one of the greatest books i've read even though i have a criticism or two about the extremity of some characters. but either way, zafon is an absolutely incredible writer! pure talent and joy on my behalf!
noel fielding
australia's border patrol (I CAN SIT AND WATCH THIS SHOW ALL DAY LONG, i find it absolutely fascinating! though i must admit some people's idiocy completely baffles me)
come dine with me (i love the hilarious commentary and the tiffs people have)
TRUE BLOOD (SKARSGARD!)
SPARTACUS (rest in peace andy whitfield, another reason why there can't be no friggin god up there!)
BROADCHURCH! gotta love a bit of david tennat although i've never followed doctor who
the girl with the dragon tattoo trilogy (WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T WATCH THE FINCHER VERSION, IT'S RUUUUUUUUUBBISH!)
javier bardem (mar adentro, before night falls, eat.pray.love, vicky, christina, barcelona)
anything by alejandro amenabar is totally worth it also
simon amstell
alan carr
michael mcintyre
LOUIE SPENCE! he's hilarious!
the only way is essex (very guilty pleasure)
PLAYING IT STRAIGHT - it cracks me up!
game of thrones
homeland
PERSON OF INTEREST - jim caviezel is my dream man these days and michael emerson is just brilliant
THAI FOOD
japanese food
seafood, love it all!
feta cheese and tomatoes
rich deserts! love baclava, tiramisu, cheesecake, carrot cake and everything with caramel and nuts in it. on the other hand i frown at the sight of boring dry deserts such as sponge cake. or pain au chocolat or anything involving too much dough and not enough substance. a desert has to be moist, indulgent and excessive!
i love animals to bits but i believe in the principles of the food chain and killing for survival. NOT FOR FUR OR FOR HUNTING TROPHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anything exotic and fragrant - coconut, cinnamon, cloves, cumin and curry
VODKA (correction: ex-lover, i'm tea-total now)
anything with loads of parsley or spinach in it
CORONA (another correction: another ex)
CHILLI (i can live without chocolate but not without chilli, i think i get high on the burning sensation)
australian accent (BECAUSE I FIND IT SEXY. NOT BECAUSE MY ACCENT IS AUSTRALIAN, MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT I'M FROM EASTERN EUROPE! D'OH). and irish. and geordie. and scouse... random but i'm just very fond of some accents
The six things I could never do without
uhm. i don't think 6 is enough so i'll have as many as i like:
house music (progressive, spanish, tribal, afrobeat)
VAUXHALL AND MY PRECIOUS HOMOS
sunshine
bitchy banter ;D
sex (no, most probably not with you)
chocolate
coffee
fresh green bullet chillies
all kinds of vegetables
boys' accessories (rosaries, leather cuffs, piercings, flesh/tunnel earings, keychains, rings on middle/pinky/thumb fingers etc.)
my sister. (unfortunately this profile was written a long time ago when i never suspected i'll lose her and the maxim 'you never know what you have and how much it means until you lose it forever' becomes so painfully real)
the internet
disco/power naps and crisp fresh sunny early mornings (i wake up way too early way too often)
silly props or ridiculous clothing, i'm a sucker for it
running. especially after-dark jogs on the empty towpaths of the canal i live near to, it's how i keep sane (though this may not show here)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
*thinking. doesn't get me very far. maybe cause it's a bit of a circular statement

*is man one of god's blunders or god one of man's? actually i don't even question it, gods, fairies and santa are for kiddies and the brain-blind!

*the truth may be out there...but i prefer the lies inside my head!

*sarcastic gold. like george bernard shaw.
'I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.'
'If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.'
'Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.'

need i say more?

*why do my scrambled eggs ALWAYS stick on the side of the pan even though i go to great lengths to grease the sides up? GRRRRRRRRRRR

*why do i get the urge to smoke after i've eaten?

*why bands lose their mojo?

*is it a curse to be smart? it feels so lonely in this sea of empty heads.

*when are insecure people going to realise they can't blame me for their inadequacies? it's not my fault i'm a superior human being!

*why the fuck do you wear high heels if you can't walk in them? you look like a fuckin flamingo with a broken ankle dumb bitch, it isn't a sexy look!

*who 'inflicted' marmite upon the world and for what reason...AND WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE STUFF?

*why do delivery companies always fuck me over and never leave me a 'while you were out card' - CUNTS!

*today i pondered over whether i should found a rehab centre or a new religion/cult, 'IAA' (iva addicts anonymous) or 'iviology'...oh the dilemma, my name is iva for the record

*how to stop english people from massacring their own language...

*what evil (medieval? suggestions?) play toy i would use to castrate putin and his cabinet...whilst they're sober!
On a typical Friday night I am
stalking kitties on the interwebs
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
well it ain't gonna be private no more, is it...?

*i always go back home after i've locked the outside door just to make sure i've switched the iron and the hair straightener off. once i burnt a hole in the laminate after i left the iron on and it's left me ocd about checking.

*that i sometimes laugh at my own gags. cause occasionally they reach the requisite level of hilarity. just occasionally (a word i always tend to misspell. grrr)

*i'm the last person you can call sweet, fragile or delicate. i don't beat around the bush. in case you hadn't noticed.

*that in fact, well, i am all that lol. i am not desperate for a relationship - unless i can get everything i want out of one, i'd rather be single, i don't need a man to function properly or to feel complete. and being single is my decision until someone worthy enough comes along, take note!

*unfortunately i stress out easily and i can be terribly paranoid

*i'm clumsy and i can't drive

*i'm agoraphobic and misanthropic. if that wasn't already obvious
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 25–36
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
*i've bruised your ego, such as red_laughter here:

Did anyone and I mean anyone at all actually bother to read all of your endless drivel? Save your breat I know it's a rhetorical question. Feel free to look up what rhetorical means, stupid twat.
Sent at 2:03pm Block him Report
An image of Sck_Rse
touchy are we? save your breath, i'm sorry if it hurts knowing i wouldn't have looked at you twice
Sent at 3:02pm
An image of red_laughter
The only thing that hurt was to scroll through your idiotic endless writings. But that's until I saw your pics. A street whore from Kings Kross area would have put more decent ones than you did! Go back to Bulgaria where you belong!
Sent at 3:08pm
An image of Sck_Rse
hahhaha i'm deeply offended
Sent at 3:32pm
An image of red_laughter
Fuck off you east european tramp!

LOL

*uhm no. actually you shouldn't write to me at all! but if you so desire, acquaint yourself with the points below and the whole load of bollocks above! so if:

*you read books! there's nothing more off-putting than people who don't read! goes without saying (okay, i just said it) YOU MUST BE ABLE TO SPELL!

*you don't ask me 'can i ask you something?' THAT'S A FUCKIN QUESTION IN ITSELF! EITHER WAY, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW IS WHETHER I WILL ANSWER, NOT WHETHER YOU CAN ASK ME. *FACE PALM*!

*your nickname isn't 'something/name in a box'. those are so dumb

*you don't lick your index finger to turn the page - THEY FUCKIN TURN ANYWAY, AND THE WORLD IS DIRTY AS IT IS, KEEP YOUR GERMS IN YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL CHOP YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TONGUE OFF!

*you can make me laugh! and no - SAYING YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR DOESN'T MAKE YOU FUNNY! that is just so cliched 'i have a sense of humour'... ho ho ho? WHERE IS IT IF THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

*if you don't describe yourself with some other shitty cliche such as 'down to earth and easy-going'. that stuff sickens me

*YOU KNOW THAT WIT DOESN'T HAVE 'H' IN IT, NEITHER DOES 'WITTY' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

*and trust me - i'm not shy to ask for what i want. so if i didn't - that simply means i wasn't interested

*IF I REPEATEDLY KEEP IGNORING YOU - GET THE FUCKIN' HINT!

*if you can't read THE lines, what the hell is left for reading in between them, jeez - i've expressed myself clearly enough!

*if you DO NOT have advice to give me on what i should and should not include in my profile - if i wanted any, I WOULD REQUEST IT MYSELF FIRST!

*don't bore the crap out of me with dumb questions such as 'hi, how are you?' - i hate that shit

*if you don't try to sell me your lengthy psycho-analytical theories of why i am this way/some other shit is this way, peppered with long fancy words to boost your credentials. cause, well, you just end up sounding like a fuckin douche!

*you can prove who you are upon further request, instead of telling me 'oh, i can say you're a faker too'. i can validate that who i claim to be is what you see, so don't fuckin waste my time unless you can do the same!

*if you're a girl - i've slept with a few girls over the years and really enjoyed it but i'm starting to question whether i'm actually bisexual...but still, i guess i'm still bi-curious and open to new experiences if i fancy the person

*if you've read and understood the implications of what you've just read - i don't like boring predictable answers, if you're gonna bother writing to me you have to excite me! and don't ever ask me those retarded comparison questions that require you to compare one boring pointless thing with another FOR NO GOOD REASON! I FUCKIN HATE THOSE TOO