Books. Cat*. Sweaters. INFP. Coffee. Awkward. Bourbon. Short. Subtitles. Beard. Liberal. Donuts. Other Cat.
TL;DR Version of the TL;DR Version:
Job. Vehicle. Parental influence buffered by 500+ miles.
I hemorrhage cash at any Half Price Books. I inhale coffee to the point where my next blood test will probably read "French Roast." I watch foreign movies to feel cultured then get distracted by the bright color palette. I had to Google the correct spelling of hemorrhage.
I'm carnivorous but vegan-friendly if one of your turn-ons is "guy to eat kale with," but left to my own devices I'm a grown man who takes his nutritional cues from Liz Lemon. I live a very dessert-positive, bacon-positive, cellulite-positive lifestyle.
I'm an introvert by nature (INFP), but, pro-tip: you can usually loosen us up with booze like anyone else, though keep in mind I'm thirty-something, so the only "shots" I do are espresso.
Also, this is the part of the profile wherein guys are contractually obligated to point out how "laid back & chill" we are, but -- full disclosure -- I'm way better at pulling off "charmingly high strung." Like a short Hugh Grant who put on a few and misplaced his razor.
My sense of humor's dry, occasionally cynical, playfully self-deprecating, and almost always hyperbolic. In fact, let's play it safe and assume I will offend or confuse you at some point in oblivious, well-intentioned, Michael Scott fashion and save us both the drive? Thanks for reading this far.
Speaking of potential dealbreakers. So, um, hey girl: I'm known to foster wayward cats from time to time (I've got the hookup on Zyrtec if we really hit it off).
Let's attempt to cook things, be pretentious foodies at new restaurants, nurse each other's hangovers, take random day trips to some place your friend Instragrammed, fall asleep to godawful TV, run pointless errands, and (time permitting) maybe bring out the best in each other? Bonus points if you smell clean.
Must at least tolerate animals, lean somewhat left, and be perfectly okay with the fact that Caitlyn Jenner got a courage award. Non-religious preferred. People should describe you as "empathetic." No health nuts please.