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33 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jan 24
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
When drinking
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hailing from the mullet wearing dyke tribe. I feed off pussy willow trees and live in a cunt hut. Born bastard of pig rape!

A word of advice before you proceed: This is basically a carefully-constructed advertisement for me. If you want to cut through the hype and find out what I'm really like, you might be better off letting me diddle your pickle... I mean, go out for a beer.

The first and most important thing you need to know about me is that I'm awesome. That is a scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.

Since the first thing you are going to look at are my pictures, I suppose I should give some physical description of myself that the photos don't show. I'm 18 hands tall from sole to crown. In motion, I might be graceful like a swan or graceful like a hippo: I don't know. My eyes change color. Not depending on the light; they rapidly strobe all sorts of different colors. And shoot laser beams. Ok, that bit about my eyes might be false.

I am usually very kind, but I'm also extremely determined and ambitious in achieving my goals, which are more about the world than about me. I love to communicate about thoughts, ideas and beliefs. My idea of fun is going somewhere I've never been before, learning something I didn't know or having a great conversation with somebody I really enjoy talking to. I'm adventurous while also staying focused.

I also tend to be pretty lighthearted when it comes to my interpersonal interactions with those closest to me. With most conversations, I'm more likely to have fun and be silly than be flat-faced and serious.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being empathetic. Organizing parties. Cooking. Playing video games. Outdrinking my big lesbian Norwegian neighbor Hallkatla.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My big bush. Everyday I sit in front of my vanity desk and brush my beard for 10 minutes before conditioning it with imported Grade A Moroccan Oil.

I also like to pour myself some champagne, play some Tammy Wynette on the record player and sit on my perch to howl at the moon while my watery eyes melt my mascara.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Wheel of Time series - A Song of Ice and Fire - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The Lord of the Rings - The Time Machine

TV: Deadwood-The IT Crowd-It's Always Sunny in Philly-Archer-Battlestar Galactica-The Newsroom-Breaking Bad-Dollhouse-Last Airbender-Legend of Korra-Rupaul's Drag Race-Doctor Who-Torchwood-Twin Peaks-Strangers with Candy-Buffy-Firefly-Downton Abbey-Game of Thrones-Absolutely Fabulous-SNL-Sherlock-Thundercats-Arrested Development-Cosmos-House of Cards-Shameless

Movies: Battle Royal-Hedwig and the Angry Inch-Star Wars-The Big Lebowski-Fight Club-Scott Polgrim vs the World-The Life Aquatic-Pixar movies-Almost everything from Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli-Almodovar----Fuck this shit, I got tired. I'll get back to it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I could be anywhere. Having beers with friends, date, dinner party, playing video games, touching myself... Doing any of those while I touch myself....