Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hailing from the mullet wearing dyke tribe. I feed off pussy willow
trees and live in a cunt hut. Born bastard of pig rape!
A word of advice before you proceed: This is basically a
carefully-constructed advertisement for me. If you want to cut
through the hype and find out what I'm really like, you might be
better off letting me diddle your pickle... I mean, go out for a
The first and most important thing you need to know about me is
that I'm awesome. That is a scientific fact. There's no real
evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
Since the first thing you are going to look at are my pictures, I
suppose I should give some physical description of myself that the
photos don't show. I'm 18 hands tall from sole to crown. In motion,
I might be graceful like a swan or graceful like a hippo: I don't
know. My eyes change color. Not depending on the light; they
rapidly strobe all sorts of different colors. And shoot laser
beams. Ok, that bit about my eyes might be false.
I am usually very kind, but I'm also extremely determined and
ambitious in achieving my goals, which are more about the world
than about me. I love to communicate about thoughts, ideas and
beliefs. My idea of fun is going somewhere I've never been before,
learning something I didn't know or having a great conversation
with somebody I really enjoy talking to. I'm adventurous while also
I also tend to be pretty lighthearted when it comes to my
interpersonal interactions with those closest to me. With most
conversations, I'm more likely to have fun and be silly than be
flat-faced and serious.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being empathetic. Organizing parties. Cooking. Playing video games.
Outdrinking my big lesbian Norwegian neighbor Hallkatla.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My big bush. Everyday I sit in front of my vanity desk and brush my
beard for 10 minutes before conditioning it with imported Grade A
I also like to pour myself some champagne, play some Tammy Wynette
on the record player and sit on my perch to howl at the moon while
my watery eyes melt my mascara.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Wheel of Time series - A Song of Ice and Fire - The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The Lord of the Rings - The Time
TV: Deadwood-The IT Crowd-It's Always Sunny in
Philly-Archer-Battlestar Galactica-The Newsroom-Breaking
Bad-Dollhouse-Last Airbender-Legend of Korra-Rupaul's Drag
Race-Doctor Who-Torchwood-Twin Peaks-Strangers with
Candy-Buffy-Firefly-Downton Abbey-Game of Thrones-Absolutely
Movies: Battle Royal-Hedwig and the Angry Inch-Star Wars-The Big
Lebowski-Fight Club-Scott Polgrim vs the World-The Life
Aquatic-Pixar movies-Almost everything from Miyazaki and Studio
Ghibli-Almodovar----Fuck this shit, I got tired. I'll get back to
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I could be anywhere. Having beers with friends, date, dinner party,
playing video games, touching myself... Doing any of those while I
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.