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33 Bristol, UK Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22-35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
6' 3" (1.91m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Creepy loser seeks woman with low standards for night of disappointment and regret.

Anyway, I'm moving around a lot, and I'd like to make new friends! With you! YES YOU! Lets be BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! <3
(Unless you're one of my asshole friends that pretends to be a cute girl and invites me to her place only it turns out to be an abandoned warehouse and then they knock me unconscious and steal my kidneys. Knock it off guys, its not funny anymore.)

I'm a fairly openminded, fuzzy liberal type. I like games, dancing, circus, reading and bad jokes.

Caught in an eternal struggle between my geek side, which loves computers and technology and cool gadgets, and my hippy side which thinks we should all just live in forests and be at one with nature.
So far, the geek side is winning because cute pictures of animals on the internet is like the best thing ever.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
So, what do I do with myself? Well, since I'm on here, of course I'm a man of Action! Adventure! Excitement! And lots of other words!
Those allegations of me sitting about in my underpants all day watching cartoons and eating cheetos are unfounded. Mostly.

I actually have quite a lot going on in my life atm. I'm an indie games developer, a writer, and I teach kids. I love doing this stuff, and I actually get paid for it, which is a nice bonus.

My other big thing in life ifs circus, which I'm still pretty crap at, but is great fun. I do a whole bunch (unicycling, hula hooping, contact juggling, etc), but I really love aerial silks. If you don't know what it is, check the pics.

I'm also currently working on my handstands, and its a source of never-ending shame for me that 8 year old girls can do this perfectly fine, and I can't.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Well, this once time, I ate a whole pig. Head first. AND I can rub my belly and pat my head at the same time.

My brain is almost completely filled with useless trivia and facts.
Did you know that Gary Oldman is younger than Gary Numan?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beautiful eyes. I stole them from a hobo while he was distracted by a shiny penny. You'd be surprised how easy it is to remove an eyeball with a spoon, without anyone noticing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favourite book, hands down, is Flowers for Algernon. You should read it. Like, right now. NOW. YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AFTER.
(Protip, don't watch the movie, its awful)

I'm also a pretty big fan of Neil Gaiman, although it seems almost everyone on here is.

Movies - Megamind, Princess Bride, pretty much anything by Pixar. Oh, and Thank you for Smoking is seriously underrated.

Music- I mostly like rock-metal type stuff. Rage against the Machine, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, System of a Down, etc. Also quite into electroswing, Caravan Palace are quite decent.

Food? Pretty much anything. Except fish. Or cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
There's not a lot I really need in life (other than, y'know, air and stuff).

Internet is pretty important to me, and I love my circus stuff, but I'm generally a happy person. Let us abandon our earthy trappings, and frolic naked in the meadows! (Until the fuzz turns up, anyway)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If I could travel back in time, and meet myself as a child, what would young me think of now me?

I get the feeling he'd be slightly disappointed I wasn't a world famous scientist or something. And the long hair thing would probably be a shock.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At the moment, I've just moved, so trying to organise something fun to do. Normally I'd be out boogying it up with my chums (I have friends, in your face society).

Either that, or just sleeping. Hibernation mode kicking in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once killed a man just to watch him die.

I don't drink alcohol, and never have.

I shave my legs. I tell people its because I'm a poledancer, but secretly it makes me feel sexy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like charming, gorgeous, smart guys. I know loads of them, I can probably put you in touch.