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40 • Elk Grove Village, IL • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 32–48
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
- Last online
- Aug 1
- Straight, Heteroflexible
- 6′ 3″ (1.91m)
- Body Type
- Used up
- Mostly anything
- Very often
- Atheism, and laughing about it
- Graduated from masters program
- More than $1,000,000
- Mostly non-monogamous
- Has kids, but doesn’t want more
- Has dogs
- English (Fluently)
Looking into the abyss and seeing a big floppy dick waving back at me.
Touching myself inappropriately whenever my boss is talking during meetings. I work from home, this isn't an HR issue.
Cooking things that taste horrible.
Drinking to excess.
Enjoying my isms. Alcoholism. Sexualism. Marijuanaism. Yeah, those.
Saying things that horrify people.
Favorite porn genres:
Lesbian face sitting
Porn Blooper compilations.
Asian bukkake watersports
Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to: Spirit Halloween catalogue.
Favorite television personality: Giada DeLaurentis' cleavage
Favorite song to put $5 in the jukebox and play repeatedly: REM's Shiny Happy People
Favorite food to watch other people eat with a creepy grin on my face: Bananas
Asian massage parlors.
Human Sacrifice for my Llama God, Shaheezru.
A fantastic liquor salad
Letting the world know what I'm thinking at any moment.
The joys of ADD and a bipolar personality with antisocial behavior. Trust me when I say I'm all over the board.
You've seen Idiocracy. Not just the movie, but also the real world parallels.
You like having things put in things.
You enjoy putting things in things.
You hate things all together.
You have a really stupid joke that no one would find funny but it's funny to you and you need to tell someone and telling someone will open up the doors to happiness.
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