Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


33 Washington, DC Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 9:30pm
Native American, White
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Doesn’t have kids
English, C++ (Fluently), Latin (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Russian (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I eschew convention for the sake of convention. I don't think there are things I can't do, just challenges (and occasionally thermodynamics) to work around.

I keep a very level head, but I like a little chaos from time to time. Sometimes that plan to have a quiet dinner and head home needs to turn into drinking with the staff until 5am. Even if it's Tuesday. Especially if its Tuesday. I believe it's sometimes okay to do things where the results are unpredictable.

I don't think any of the above means I should be anything less than insanely considerate to my fellow man and woman.

It's possible we might have a few common interests. I like - and miss having - a big dog; there are few things in this world that I enjoy more than having a board gaming night with friends; imagining what cities will be like in both the near and far future. Fast cars and good whisky. Especially good whisky. I can talk for a long time about whisky. You've been warned.

I believe in meeting people, seeing we like each other, and then seeing what comes from it.

Fall 2015: I might be a horrible person. Recent dating adventures have taught me that although I'd love something serious, I'm not sure my current lifestyle is terribly supportive. Hopefully this will change in the coming months. A huge chunk of my time is dedicated to selling a start-up, and most of my remaining time is dedicated to recovering from the previous chunk.. Seeing someone who lived far away made me a better person, but also wasn't something I could maintain in the form I thought she deserved. Eager to make lifestyle changes, but they can't happen just yet.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to make 'fetch' happen

Until December of 2009, I worked in a building with no windows, and no women for almost six years. It was kind of like prison, except without the thrill of a daily cavity search. Nowadays I have a slightly more normal job. I work with all men still, but in an office with windows. This is all a long way of saying I'm in the computer industry...

Did I say "thrill"? I meant "fear"
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Very subtle Mean Girls references.
Definitely not karaoke.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It's weird, but people go out of their way quite frequently to tell me how great I smell.

Occasionally I'm wearing a "You can be my wingman any time" shirt
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: American Psycho, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Illuminatus! Trilogy.

I have discovered the quickest way to turn a party into a group of angry people is to mention the book "Lean In" (which I don't think is entirely fair..)

Magazines: evo, The Economist.

Movies: The Professional will probably always be my favorite. I have a soft spot for a good comedy (e.g. Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and a good Bond movie, too. Any movie in which Kelly McGillis drives a Porsche 356 Speedster.

TV: Archer. Always and forever Archer. I also miss Happy Endings. I'm on a long-running quest to get my TV watching down to zero via not picking up new shows. Occasionally they slip through the cracks.

Music: The Rolling Stones, Bill Withers, and Rodrigo and Gabriela are persistent favorites. More recent additions are Santigold, Lake Street Dive's Fun Machine, Florence + The Machine. I'm really sad I have yet to see Orbital or Underworld in concert. I've never listened to a bad Dave Seaman mix. And I'm still riding the Ke$ha high, even after all this time.

Also, Google Play doesn't lie, if you want to see what I *actually* listen to:

Food: I would probably live on a diet of fresh mango and smoked salmon, if it were practical. The fried, bacon-wrapped dates at Jaleo. Also: pineapple. I love anything and everything pineapple. Lastly: chicken biryani, fried bananas, mashed potatoes, cheeses.

Whisky: The Balvenie 15 is my absolute favorite; I've never had a bad bottle. Cask-strength Springbanks and Elijah Craig aren't far behind. Clynelish 14 is a rather pleasant recent discovery. There used to be more details here, but this should suffice, if you're curious:
I also started a local whisky forum that's fairly active:, and even more recently, an associated Twitter:

Beer: Sour in the Rye might be my favorite. A Tiny Beautiful Something. I've got an extensive cellar that should serve me well for years to come. Warning: I will bring Mang-o-Ritas to your party..
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My friends, the Internet, my favorite pillow
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I really miss having a Bernese Mountain Dog
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The same thing I'm doing every night, Pinky: trying to take over the world.

Probably on a rooftop.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Bear with me a bit: I've put on some weight in the last few years. I can lose it when I put my mind & schedule to it, but the problem is my schedule. In 2013 I had six blissful months of 9-5ish life and lost 25 lbs. In late 2014 I had another three month lull and lost 10 lbs and packed on a crazy amount of muscle. Starting January 2nd, though, my schedule changed, and I've had too many days where I literally wake up at 7am, hop over to my desk, and work non-stop, barely breaking to microwave lunch, and working non-stop until 2am. Several times in a week. I think this will be the last job where I put myself in this situation, as I'm beginning to prioritize my health (and my eyes! and also returning to being super hot) over everything else..

I once got driven halfway across Istanbul at 3am to buy a $600 pack of gum. The evening that resulted in me needing titanium and some screws in my right arm I am a little happier to discuss, actually.

Also, I really love the taste of Red Bull. I wish they made a caffeine-free version so I could drink more of it. I'm told this is disgusting, and most people think it tastes like robot sweat.

I like a lot of really bad music (related: I also really like Top Gun). If it helps, I like a lot of really good music, too.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are the change you want to see in the world. This is how I try to live my life, and I'd love to meet someone who picks up a piece of trash on the Metro over someone who simply tweets about how gross Metro is.

If you think Whisky Monday sounds like the great idea that it is.

You're the State Department. I can hook you up with loads of Arabic speakers.

You're accepting of the fact that I lack a religious affiliation, and plan to keep it that way.

You plan to stick around DC for a bit - kind of anticlimactic to meet people who can't wait to leave.

It's actually okay to write me if you're showing bountiful cleavage (hell, it's practically encouraged!) in all of your photos, but only if you don't claim the first thing people notice about you is your eyes.

Also, I have a (weird?) distaste for people whose lives revolve around parking/driving/traffic or TV schedules. Also: not saying I haven't done it before, but I find it to be kind of a turn-off when people take pride in binge watching TV..