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30 F Atlanta, GA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and dislikes cats

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My self-summary
I love mangoes, medical mysteries, dogs who wear clothes, DVR, tacos, my family and the color blue. In traffic, I'm often the impatient one who throws her hands up in the air in the universal "what's going on" gesture. I love reading, writing and language and consider myself to be a very creative person. I travel frequently for work but would prefer to travel more for fun. I am intelligent and have an opinion on every topic from organized religion (thumbs down) to puppies (thumbs up) to gravity (thumbs up, then down). I’m always chewing on ice.

Positive, playful and silly, I either charm others with my dry and quirky sense of humor, or I make them hopelessly uncomfortable. Sometimes I make "women belong in the kitchen" jokes too often. Every time I use an exclamation point in work email, a little piece of my soul dies. I find it physically impossible to sleep with socks on or neglect to mention the Hamburglar whenever I see someone wearing any form of black and white stripes (robble robble). I wear flip-flops all year long. Even in the winter. Even when trudging through swamps. ESPECIALLY when trudging through swamps in the winter.

I connect most easily to others through alcohol and jokes (ergo, most interactions with humorless teetotalers are delightfully awkward). My adult-sounding job is what I do; it's not who I am. If asked about it, I'm likely to say I work in a jigsaw puzzle factory, chicken factory or zipper factory (my fake jobs tend to be quite industrial). In truth, I wear grown up clothes and sit behind a computer during the day. If you sneak up behind me, I'm a master at closing gchat or my online shopping cart and replacing it with a complicated spreadsheet and a perplexed look on my face.

I love watching scary movies, but I still cover my eyes during the really bloody parts. Too many details bore me. I hate chain restaurants unless I'm hungover or feeling campy. I have learned the hard way that you never want to hear the following phrase at work: "can I talk to you for a minute?" Followed only by, "my grandfather has that same sweater." I only trust forecasts from Weather Pup, and I will often greet a dog without ever interacting with its owner. I will never turn down an opportunity to watch Air Force One.

While I have no telltale accent, I was raised in Georgia and am southern in that I ascribe to the notion that macaroni and cheese is a vegetable. I am a morning person. I like to be busy, and I want to learn something new every day for the rest of my life. I find that oatmeal cookies and Fig Newtons are better described as punishments, rather than desserts. Sometimes when you call me, instead of listening to you, I put the phone down and flex my muscles in the mirror. 

And if you made it through that eclectic introduction and still want to hear more: I'm a sucker for a tall guy with a great sense of humor.

I’m very independent and crave alone time. But I love nights out with friends, happy hours, trying new activities and making new memories. I want to be with a guy who’s equally independent, adventurous and self-assured. Sense of humor, intelligence, friendship, sensitivity and a desire to constantly improve one’s self (mentally, physically, professionally, emotionally, artistically) are qualities I look for in the opposite sex – that and anatomical accuracy. Kidding, mostly. But, no, seriously.

My ideal match in two words: Ron Swanson – a man who likes dark-haired women, music and steak. He’s got his starter marriages behind him, prefers apathy in the workplace and enjoys a good drink.
What I’m doing with my life
Making sure I always drink a lot of water but never get forced into the window seat on a plane.
I’m really good at
Puting together IKEA furniture and not being freaked out by all the leftover pieces.

Perpendicular parking.

Words and shit.

Pretending I know what I'm doing at work.

Perfecting horribly arrhythmic dance moves in non-dancey situations.

Making lists.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm circus tall - or model tall. Circus sounds more colorful.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, the Walking Dead, Homeland, Game of Thrones (begrudgingly), Downton Abbey, Arrested Development, Veep.

I'll read just about anything in ebook form if I can put it on the stair master and read it to distract myself from the arduous task of exercising. I tear through about 1-2 books a week.

I like horror movies (even the really campy ones like Zombie Strippers), comedies, action movies and making amateur porn. Kidding, I don't actually like comedies. I hate jokes.
The six things I could never do without
1. My dog
2. Lip balm
3. The interwebs
4. Sassy dresses
5. Ice
6. Humor
7. Math
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Did I eat Wendy's twice yesterday?
On a typical Friday night I am
Bemoaning the iPhone autocorrecting "whore" into "who're" for the billionth time. I would think it knows me better than that by now.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I worry I never officially deleted my MySpace page a decade ago.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 26–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're genuinely funny. You have a legitimate inquiry beyond how my week is going so far. You want to hear me rap The Real Slim Shady - and totally nail it.

Or you want to give me a puppy.