Remember that episode of The Simpsons in which Homer meets Frank Grimes, a man who has had to struggle for everything in life and who is ultimately driven insane by Homer's sloppy carelessness? That's me. But sexier. I try to keep it under control, but basically I'm incredibly precise, pedantic, judgmental, intolerant and pessimistic. I really care about getting things right.

I like having conversations. I believe in understanding the enemy, and I think an intelligent person ought to be able to have a productive conversation with anyone, no matter how much you disagree. So, for instance, I'm an atheist, but I take the Bible seriously. I'm something of a contrarian--I think pretty much everyone who knows me well enough has at one point been horrified by my opinions.

But what about the physical? I bike everywhere, run sometimes, go camping and skiing when I can. I recently got back from a weeklong bike trip in Northwest Ohio (thrilling I know). I feel more comfortable in hiking boots than in high heels.

I recently moved to DC and got a 'real job'. I love the area and the job--it's a very masculine, meritocratic, un-PC workplace, and that's exactly what I want.

Drinking like a man. And staying calm in a crisis. People have complimented me often on my vocabulary, determination, and breasts.

Update: yes I realize technically I cannot be good at 'breasts', but I like to take credit where I can.

I'm quiet. But opinionated. Later on, people usually notice I have a brown spot in one (green) eye.

I read a lot (several hours a day). Basically, if you read Freud and Proust, with a sprinkling of Henry James, then the world makes sense. Right now I'm (re)reading "Brideshead Revisited" and "The Maltese Falcon", plus a few mysteries, a book on the sociology of food, "The Adderall Diaries", and a book on the anti-science movement.

I'm a snob when it comes to liquor, beer (not a wine snob yet but it'll come), movies, and books. That doesn't mean I'll look down on you if you have different tastes, but it does mean I won't want to see the latest Bruce Willis action movie with you. I'm not very tuned into pop culture.

I like zombie movies and noir films, the best exemplar of each being the Night of the Living Dead trilogy and The Big Sleep. Also the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and Cannibal! the Musical. Also Hitchcock.

Music: not something I know a lot about. But on a desert island, I'd pick Elliott Smith, the Beatles, and Bach.

I like to cook! I eat healthy foods and not a lot of meat. My favorite foods are salmon with a mustard marinade, coffee yogurt, poached eggs, curries, etc. Fun fact: you can cook almost anything with mustard. If you're determined.

a to-do list, books, privacy, my bike, whiskey, and a clean kitchen.

And six things I would rather do without: marijuana, political correctness, religion, TV, shorts (they look bad on everyone fyi), and cliché.

Language, personality, hair, clothes, the way people talk and think, sex, money, my past, my future, work I have to get done. Things I am ignorant about (like Constitutional law!)

either out drinking cocktails with friends or at home reading and hanging out with my cat.

I listen to Britney Spears and eat at McDonald's.

I would especially like to hear from people who know about things I want to know about, like beer, wine, skiing, how to shoot a gun, linguistics, or postmodern French philosophy.

Or if you are a: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, Aquarius, or Capricorn. Yes I know astrology is bullshit but still.