I have a smartass sense of humor, and would rather smile and laugh than complain and frown. I know it takes 42 muscles to frown and seven to smile, however. I was taught in the Marines that it only takes 3 muscles to properly squeeze a trigger, so I'm working on that. I am recently disabled due to a injury I received at work. I can walk and what-not, but my previously active lifestyle is definitively cut back quite a bit. . I retired from the U.S.M.C. after two, four year tours seperated by almost a decade. I'm not a "Lifer" in the service, but if we go to war, well..I'm like Tackleberry in the Police Academy movies "WHAT? Theres gunplay and I wasn't involved?*facepalm!*". I am not a gun nut nor a violence enthusiast. I do enjoy pugilistic sports and was a HELL of a Marine. However, as the man says "it is well that war is so terrible, lest Men begin to enjoy it".

I am 420 friendly, and have been known to home-brew absolutely horrid batches of what can only be described as a "beer like substance" that once eradicated a entire blackberry bush over-taking my backyard...Not sure what I did wrong, but I received a letter from USARAMID on perhaps using that lil recipe for "Purposes of the US Military". Sadly, I was never able to repeat the recipe and was thrown out of the facility via Trebuchet.

I've been known to do stand-up occasionally,and my comedy is a large helping of wtf with a side of "oh no he di'int". I have a way with words and like to paint uncomfortable visuals for people, you could call it a hobby if you like. Just imagine if comedian Robert Schimmel had a drunken, hash fueled orgy with Chris Farley and G.Carlin..I'm the kid that resulted from that. HI!

***If you have gotten this far and have noted I have no picture...Congratulations!***

Right now I'm waiting to move and trying my best to make the peaks in the "popcorn" coating on my ceiling resemble well known mountain chains. So far I have the Ande's in the bedroom, the Sierra's in my "mancave" and in the living room is my masterpiece...thats right...The alps. Good thing I'm short/vertically challenged.

I'm also attending school for dual degrees. Social Work/Juv.Justice. They are both subjects close to my heart and figure a great deal into who I am. If you can understand the dichotomy between the Marines and Social Worker, then please, send an email to explain it to me, 'cause I'm tired of people asking me 'How did you end up in the Marines and decide to do social work?' and not having a good answer. I mean, I have one, but it's not everyone's need to know what it is. I'll just suffice it to say that I have personal experience in the matter and it's better left at that for now.

Being the designated driver, covering my friends, growing tomatoes, playing music, and finding inappropriate sexual innuendoes in every day conversations.

***However, there are a few pics of me that have managed to survive the "Photographic purge of 2001***

My eyes. Well, that and the tattoo of "Geofery Giraffe" on my forehead..ok, I dont have a Giraffee tattooed on my forehead, but I'm addicted to ink.

***If you got THIS far, you probably are wondering "wtf does this guy look like?****

I love metal, blues, classic rock hell, I like it all. I cannot STAND old country though. People whining is soooo not attractive. If I feel the need to re-live a bad past relationship, I have over 2,000 pages of divorce papers over a decade old I can drag out and drink to excess over while I rail against my decision to marry a skank-booty biotch with the compassion of Idi Amin and the cooking skills of a blind, one-armed Armenian w/no taste buds who formerly worked in a soap plant. *wipes the bitter off of monitor*

***Well if you are STILL reading, you should probably message me and say "HEY, HOW COME NO PIC PAL?****

Coffee, Sex, music, thick girls (yummy), computer, humor,

how I can stop the invasion of stupid people

Sep.27th, 2009***
If my name confuses you...stop...slow down..and break it down. You'll get it. If not. Well. Ask me!

Oct 11 2009***
Noticing a marked lack of tact, couth, and general common decency lately...

I could be perusing the annals of "Pete, the donkey loving bearded Dragon" a online book that details the trials and tribulations of a Bearded dragon, named Pete...who loves a Donkey named Tallelulah, but alas, his desire for meat creates a problem. I'm addicted to the drama! Will Pete "eat" the donkey or will he *porn guitar music here* Eat the donkey.

Or, I could be sitting on my couch in a dirty wife-beater, wearing a pair of my favorite boxers, sucking down a pint of half-baked...

or, online, saving the world from rabid elves, attacking phalanxes of marauding alien warships, or trying to figure out the puzzle before the timer expires...

I am planning on taking over the world by teaching our youngsters critical thinking, deductive reasoning,and compassionate citizenry..I hope it doesn't throw off the natural balance of good n evil TOO terribly much...

I haven't scared you off or have intrigued you with my witty banter, funny lil sayings, and you know what the hell the trick is to getting my Iphone/ipod/itoaster to sync w/my ilife..ty

you aren't parochial! No, nothing to do with church (see below for thoughts on organized religion) I don't care if you live next door or across the country. If interest is mutual, it will work itself out some way or the other

You SHOULD'NT message me if..
Your a player, under-age, a wanna-be, obviously mentally impaired, or just here to fool around and think ur cool..we cool people know who we are. Furthermore, if your name contains the need to show people your religious beliefs, then please keep moving. If I wanted to know you're a JW or Satanist, I'd go to your church and laugh in ur face..thank you, and watch ur step on the gangway please. Make sure to note your lifeboat stations and keep one hand free for balance.