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31 M Coralville, IA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 4:53pm
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Okay)

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My self-summary
I'm so fucking cheap and I'm so fucking broke and I don't have a job and I don't have a home and I don't have a life and I'm always stoned.

It boggles my mind how some of you are alive. The fact that millions of tiny organisms live in perfect symbiosis inside of you... for this? It is a good thing that they are unaware just what you do with the purpose they serve.

only here for new twitter followers Cool_Guy_69

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

I wish "dying alone" were a choice on my OKC You Might Likes...

I've honestly never been good at writing bios about myself, and have been meaning to hire someone to write a good one for me. I like walking or biking long distances with headphones on. I own my own small business. I can be seen as either hugely successful or terribly unsuccessful, but nothing in between. My favorite foods are edible. Logical, rational thinking is attractive to me. Like beards? I can grow one. Don't like beards? I'm learning to shave. No third party has ever described me as either "weird in a threatening way" or "perpetually late to things." Sleeping on exotic couches in exotic locales is a driving passion. I'm not really normal, but it's ok because no one is. I have a lot of strong feelings about the abject nature of reality which I like to keep to myself. I watched a man die once. My ideal partner is over-educated and underemployed; living in her parents' basement in her late 20s a definite plus.
I suppose above all, I hyper-analyze my life as a narrative, and am just looking to make decisions, good and bad, that generate great stories.
In short, I am an asexual, half-charming, half-pathetic joke-telling teddy bear robot.
What I’m doing with my life
I am full-time mother to two wonderful boys who are the result of two very different (but very big lol) mistakes I made when I was much younger. If we click here, I will send you their OKC profiles to see if you click with them. If Stephan and Gunner have vetted you, then we may move onto the first date.
I’m really good at
Answering OKCupid questions
The first things people usually notice about me
How tall I am, followed immediately by the birthmark on my left inner thigh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: yes please. Murakami, Pynchon, Nabakov, Henry Fucking Miller, Voltaire, Bataille, Dee Dee Ramone, et al.

Movies: Fucked up Japanese/Korean shit, New German Cinema, French New Wave, Woody Allen, Pootie Tang and other genius shit along similar lines.

tv: I haven't had a tv that actually got tv for like 10 years. I also don't like watching ongoing shows, preferring to have a complete body of work to digest. I feel like this really helped me dodge a bullet with Lost. This rule does not apply to Dr Who.
Ok, fuck it, you know what, this should go under most private thing I'm willing to admit, but I watched Veronica Mars this year and thought it was awesome.

Music: the stuff my friends make, mostly. Esoteric melodies written by man-children. By another name, pop punk. I can get down with plenty of other stuff like every other genre of punk and Stereolab. Some days, I have panic attacks induced by feeling trapped by the sheer volume of my record collection. I go to about 150 shows a year.

Food: Veg 15 years next month. Pizza and burritos, please. The best tasting food is free.
The six things I could never do without
Water. Cannot stress how important proper hydration is to me on a deeply personal level
Centuries of the scientific method
The Riccobellis - Booze Up With Dee Dee Ramone
My mom's basement
The generous support of viewers like you
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ongoing hustles, cons, scams and flams. Considering branching into ruses.
Currently working a plan to artificially inflate the market value of 13 floppy discs to an absurd level. Commerce as art.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dying at the rate of 60 minutes per hour. Desperately defending my high feedback percentage on eBay. Or maybe I'm on tour.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Let me break the 4th wall here: this profile is nothing but viral marketing for a movie coming to a theater near you this summer.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–44
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You live somewhere rad and are interested in a simulated live-in boyfriend experience that lasts 2-10 weeks.
You think the joke that is my life might be able to provide you with a little laughter.
Or if you like, wanna hang out. I dunno, I'm bored.