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27 M Boulder, CO

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:38pm
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Streetwise Hercules. Nerdier than you might think. Acid tongued humor, silver tongued conversation. If you answered the question "The first things people usually notice about me..." with something like "my eyes" or "my personality" then I DEFINITELY want to date you because you will obviously believe the lies that men tell you.

I'm kind of a weird guy.

Edit: I finally have a filmic acid test for girls I might spend time with! If you saw Don Jon and didn't like it you can probably just move along.
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated from IU with a degree in Philosophy. The 2nd most credit hours I took were in martial arts and athletics classes. I basically wanted to go to school to be Bruce Lee.
I moved out to Colorado to work in the cannabis industry. That's going pretty well. I'm a small business owner with big plans of expansion. Someday I hope to open my own Amsterdam style coffee shop.
I also work in a restaurant (trying to get some culinary experience) and I actually kind of love it. Having to keep track of million little things is pleasing to my mind 'cause I gots the ADD and can't focus on BICYCLEEEEESSSSS.
I'm a professional dancer (not that kind) and dance teacher, but I don't like to rely on it to pay the bills. It's for me. Also for impressing pretty girls on the dance floor, let's be real here.
I just got my yoga teacher certification and have started giving actual lessons. It's fun! Let's stretch.
I spend a lot of time on the Internet and watching cartoons while eating cereal out of an unwashed bowl too, I'm just trying to make myself seem good on paper here.
I’m really good at
Arguing, dancing, eating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I always hear 'you're not nearly as big of an asshole as you look like', which leads me to believe I initially look like a muscle bound jocky asshole.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Dune, Star Wars, Futurama, Hip Hop, Chinese food.
The six things I could never do without
Music, movement, stillness, comedy, coffee, cannabis.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Stuff and things. Also junk and whatever. I read some. I'm not going to list a bunch of big words to impress you. I could have just looked them up on the Internet while posting this. Is anybody even still reading at this point? Probably not. Titty sprinkles.
On a typical Friday night I am
Being a misanthrope and staying in to watch movies or play video games, or being a fun party guy and going out to drink too much and tear up the dance floor, or closing down the restaurant taking shots of whiskey and smoking bowls with the managers.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was the one who shot JFK.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 19–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You have a highly developed sense of humor and you know how to have fun. Or if you just wanna boogie.