If someone asks me where a thing is, and I do not immediately know the answer, I will claim to have eaten it. This answer applies equally to keys, best friends, articles of clothing, cars, and furniture. I do a lot of strange things to entertain myself and those around me, and because I'm generally a smart ass.
I'm a veteran. I spent about six years in the Navy, and they were very instructive years. For example, I deeply dislike people who can't follow basic instructions, and I am wholly incapable of coping with whining from adults who ought to know better.
I know who I am, I know what I want out of life, and I have a plan for getting there. My time in the Navy put me a little behind the standard "graduate high school at 18, go to college, enter the work force by 23" timeline, but it also helped me find my path. A little good, a little bad, a little balance, and nothing worth having was ever gotten easily.